Drunken Shinobi
by Danasca
Summary: Naruto after the VoTE, succeeded in returning Sasuke, but for some reason he left. Now, 3 years later he's an S-rank missing-nin and a master of Suijutsu. Question is why did he leave? And how is he a master of drunken combat? No pairings yet.
1. Chapter 1

Drunken Shinobi

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Summons/Demon speaking"**

'_**Summons/Demon thinking'**_

Several thugs entered a bar, acting as if they were the kings of the world. They sent lecherous grins towards the women and went up to the bar demanding the best alcohol the place had to offer. For the most part everyone tuned them out since they frequented the place a lot. Suddenly one of them, a guy with brown greasy hair and a crooked nose looked over to see a man sitting on a stool by himself at the other end of the bar. Everyone seemed to be giving him a wide berth, the only one who seemed comfortable around him was the bartender who just kept the man supplied with alcohol. If the dozens of bottles around the man were anything to go by, this guy was a damn heavy drinker.

"Hey, hey boss check it out," stated the man nudging a rather burly looking dark skinned bald man. Turning the man noticed who his friend was pointing to and started to size him up.

The guy had blonde hair that reached down to the nape of his neck with a square jaw and three whisker-like marks on his cheeks that stood out against his tanned skin as well as a headband with a slash going through the symbol of what appeared to be a spiraling leaf. He had startling blue eyes that were slightly bloodshot and held an icy edge to them. His cheeks were slightly red from the amount of alcohol in his system.

He was wearing a brown sleeveless jacket with no shirt and black gloves with gunmetal grey metal studs on the knuckles. He had on forest camo pants that were frayed at the ends with black boots on his feet, with metal lining the underside of his shoes. The man also supported various scars over his muscular body along with a silver hip flask that had the initials N.U etched into it.

"Heh, what do you say we go greet the newcomer fellas?" asked the dark skinned man to his fellow thugs. They all agreed and strutted over towards the guy, smirks on their faces. The blonde haired man glanced at them and mentally sighed.

'_Great can't a guy just drink in peace?' _grumbled the man.

"**Apparently not kit, just kick their asses and get moving, I'm pretty sure the leaf is on their way here," **stated the man's tenant.

The blonde grunted in acknowledgement as the thugs surrounded him. "You guys have three seconds to get away from me before I let out some pent up frustration," slurred the blonde taking a swig from a bottle of bourbon in front of him.

"Ha! Hear that guys? Looks like we're gonna have to teach this shithead a lesson," guffawed the leader as the others chuckled and moved in closer.

"Times up, don't watch the bottle," stated the drunken missing-nin. With that the blonde tossed an unopened bottle into the air, the eyes of the thugs following it.

With blinding speed, the blonde man slammed a fist into the jaw of the man with the crooked nose, a sickening crunch informing everyone that he had shattered his jaw. Another man hit the floor, missing several teeth and blood coming out of his broken nose.

With agility that shouldn't be possible after his level of drinking, the scarred nuke-nin sweep kicked two other men and while they were still in the air slammed both of his fists into the airborne thugs stomachs, causing them to hit the floor with a painful thud both instantly blacking out from the pain.

There was only the leader left and he hit the floor when the blonde delivered a bone shattering kick to the one spot no man ever wants to be kicked wth that kind of power. As he lay gasping for breath, the nuke-nin casually caught the bottle, opened it and said, "I told you not to watch the bottle," with that he took a long swig from the bottle and left the place, making sure to stomp onto the leader's face for good measure. Everyone watched him go with a mixture of awe and fear.

Once outside the blonde walked a ways before he turned around to see three people following him. One had pink hair, green eyes pale skin and was using her headband as a hair band. She was wearing a red skintight shirt with no sleeves, pink elbow protectors, black gloves and black skin tight shorts that reached just pas her mid thigh and black Shinobi sandals. On her right thigh was a kunai holster.

Next to her was a boy with long black hair that reached to his lower back with a black headband with the Konoha symbol on it. He had fair white skin with pupil less grey eyes, signifying him as a Hyuuga while he wore the traditional black and white robes of the Hyuuga clan. A black and tan drawstring bag was slung over his shoulder.

Finally there was a boy with black short spiky hair and feral looking onyx eyes. He too wore the Konoha headband and he had tan skin with red triangles under his eyes and sharp canines that nearly poked out of his upper lip. He wore a form fitting black jacket with matching pants and black ninja sandals. He had sharp nails and beside him was a large white dog. There was no mistaking that this guy was an Inuzuka.

"Hey Sakura, how are you and Sasuke getting along? He still treat you like the worthless fan-girl you are or did he finally become straight and take you up on your offer to fuck like rabbits?" asked the blonde haired man to the pink haired girl now known as Sakura. Sakura frowned at this and in her eyes you could see a bit of hurt at his words.

"Naruto, we're here to take you back," stated the Hyuuga boy with a calculating monotone. "Give up now and come quietly or we will use force," warned the black haired boy.

"How about this Neji, you, miss flat chest and Kiba go home and tell Tsunade to fuck off now while you still have your dignity, or you can get your ass whooped by a drunken dead last," slurred Naruto as he unhooked his flask and took a drink. With a satisfied sigh, Naruto belched and put the flask back on his belt, seeming to stumble a bit as he did so.

"Ha! I'd like to see you try!' scoffed Kiba as he got into his clan's fighting style. "I can smell you from here and you're too drunk to stand, much less fight! Right Akamaru?" The dog barked in agreement.

"Glad to see the leaf village is still as informed as ever," Naruto stated sarcastically, "Then again, knowing you Kiba, you were probably too busy ogling the old drunk's breasts to pay attention ya horny mutt," stated Naruto with a smirk as Kiba narrowed his eyes at the drunk shinobi angrily.

"I'm gonna make you regret those words you drunk bastard!" shouted Kiba. With that the boy leapt into the air and started spinning at the blonde at high speeds, forming a giant drill. Naruto just bent at an almost perfect 90 degree angle watching with half lidded eyes as the drill that was Kiba barely missed him. Without missing a beat Naruto reached up and grabbed the tail end of the drill, effectively stopping the jutsu and slammed the surprised Kiba into the ground so hard that he bounced. As Kiba bounced, Naruto delivered a powerful punt kick, sending the dog boy tumbling back to his friends where he landed in a heap groaning in obvious pain.

"There's a reason I'm listed as an S-rank missing-nin Kiba, as well as there's a reason they call me the master of Suijutsu," Naruto said as he gave a bloodshot glare to them.

"Suijutsu?" asked Kiba, as both Neji and Sakura sighed. They had been told about it before from Tsunade but apparently Naruto had been right when he said Kiba was too busy ogling Tsunade's breasts to pay attention.

Naruto face palmed and gave an exhausted sigh, "I seriously wonder how Konoha is considered on of the greatest village's," Naruto mumbled to himself before he said, "Suijutsu or drunk technique, is the art of using alcohol in combat, which includes something similar to Lee when he fights drunk only I can use genjutsus, ninjutsus AND the taijutsu Lee uses, which is the reason WHY I'm considered an S-rank ninja," explained Naruto. Still seing Kiba's blank look Naruto decided to slow it down a bit.

"Have you seen Lee fight when drunk?" asked Naruto. Kiba nodded. "Well I can do the same thing as him only with a LOT more power and I can use a lot of very powerful jutsus that would make the Hiraishin, Rasengan, Chidori and Kurenai's best genjutsu look like academy level techniques," explained Naruto with a smirk as he saw Kiba's jaw drop._ 'Unfortunately to use those techniques I need a LOT of alcohol at hand'_ Naruto mentally noted.

"**True, but thanks to that contract we found the stuff we need is but a drop of blood and a couple hand seals away," **Kyuubi reminded his host. Naruto mentally agreed with him on that.

"Naruto you're coming back home whether you want to or not," Sakura declared, effectively breaking him out of his mental chat with Kyuubi.

"Are you stupid or blind Sakura-ama (bitch)?" Naruto asked with an annoyed look as Sakura gasped at being called that by the boy who had used to ask her on dates constantly. "I told everyone in Konoha that I was done with the place, so it is in no way shape or form my home, thus the obvious slash through my headband," Naruto stated while tapping the metal plate on his forehead. "Besides, none of you have ever given two shits about me anyway," shrugged the blonde.

"That's not true Naruto, many people miss you and none more so than Hinata-sama," stated Neji as he recalled 3 years ago how the girl had refused to leave her room for a week after Naruto left and was announced a missing-nin. Everyone still wondered why Naruto had left in the first place, but the only ones who seemed to know were Tsunade, the council and Jiraiya as well as the jounin senseis but they had refused to tell.

Naruto snorted, "Let me guess none of you know why I left, do you?"

"No, but it doesn't matter because the hokage and council have ordered that you are returned alive," Sakura said firmly, but she too wondered why Naruto had left. One minute he had been there, all happy and everything then the next day he had stood on top of the Hokage Monument and announced he was leaving the village and when Kakashi, Tsunade, and Jiraiya tried to stop him he had actually attacked them and escaped!It was revealed later that all three hadn't expected Naruto to use his drunken fist to get past them, hell they didn't even know he could use the drunken fist! No one did.

"Fine, then its only fair to warn you what will happen if I come back," Naruto stated, his posture and voice immediately becoming sober. In a burst of speed he knocked Neji and Kiba away and appeared behind Sakura, a kunai pressed against her throat and his mouth next to her ear.

"I will leave again, only this time, I will KILL everyone who attempts to stop me," Naruto whispered as Sakura's eyes widened in surprised horror.

**A/N: Done. Dear god if I make one more story something tells me I'll never complete a single one I already have but I just HAD to write this one. Besides no one else has written a story about a Naruto using the power of the drunk. I know this chapter is pretty serious but trust me I'm gonna make this story funny. Please R&R and tell me, what animal do you think Naruto should summon because toads just don't cut it.**


	2. Chapter 2

Drunken Shinobi

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Summons/Demon speaking"**

'_**Summons/Demon thinking'**_

**A/N: Ok everyone I now have Naruto's summon picked out! It shall be the illustrious Tanuki! In folklore they are said to be seen with sake bottles, big bellies and somewhat mischievous bastards. Perfect summons if you ask me. Anyway lets get moving.**

Tsunade Senju stared at the three people across from her, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that, once again, Naruto had thrashed another team sent to bring him back thus making the total number of failed retrievals up to twenty one.

"Report on what happened," stated the woman in a crisp tone, knowing she was going to need sake after this.

Neji stepped forward and began his report; "After we left the village we headed to Tanzuka town to begin our search since that was the last location he was seen. An hour later we found out that Naruto had headed north two days ago, heading for a small town for unknown reasons. Not an hour after we left the town, Kiba picked up his scent," Neji finished as Kiba stepped forward.

"We followed the scent to a small town about five miles north of Tanzuka town, after asking around we learned that Naruto was still in the area, apparently he had come to find work as a mercenary and replenish his supplies, we found him later that night at a bar drinking, with more than a dozen bottles surrounding him," Kiba said as Tsunade quirked an eyebrow.

"We figured we would wait until he was too intoxicated to fight back then we would move in and extract him," Kiba stated.

"You do realize that previous teams have tried the same thing and have lost?" Tsunade asked in a deadpan.

Kiba scratched his head and grinned nervously, "Yeah, but I really didn't expect Naruto to be THAT strong, I mean, he was the dead last at the academy!" Kiba said defensively.

"He is also the same boy that has had one on one training with Jiraiya of the Sannin, carries the Kyuubi no Kitsune strongest of the Bijuu, has taken on Orochimaru and lived, and has beaten me, a Hyuuga prodigy, Sasuke, rookie of the year and last Uchiha, and he has soundly defeated you as well, not to mention that he escaped Konoha even when being hindered by the combined forces of two of the three sannin and Kakashi Hatake no Sharingan, need I go on?" stated Neji, ending with a quizzical look while Kiba looked down in shame.

"So what happened then?" Tsunade asked with a sigh, though she wondered why she should even hear the rest of the details due to the fact the mission had failed. Protocol is a bitch sometimes, _'Along with payback'_ Tsunade thought with a grimace. She REALLY needed some sake.

"Well five thugs came into the bar, and after sometime went and surrounded Naruto, apparently they were intent on showing who was dominant and wanted to make sure a foreigner knew who was top dog around the area," Kiba explained.

"After they got close Naruto tossed a bottle into the air, and while the thugs were distracted, dispatched them in less than a minute. After defeating the men he caught the bottle, uncorked it, drained the contents and left, leaving many of the residents in the bar shocked," Neji explained, as he too had been amazed by the display of speed and power.

"Did you see him use any seals or chakra?" Tsunade asked, seeing if she could add anything to the Uzumaki's file. According to his file he was at least kage level in nearly every field except for genjutsu, which was nonexistent. Tsunade mentally noted that the next team she would send would consist of a genjutsu specialist, if only to find how Naruto would react to it.

"None, he used nothing but physical skill, he also used nothing but physical skill to beat us as well," Neji reported.

Tsunade sighed, "Anything else?" asked the busty woman.

Sakura stepped forward this time, "Yes, Naruto wishes to give two messages to you, well one message and one warning," Sakura stated hesitantly.

'_A message and a warning?'_ thought a confused Tsunade. In the past, Naruto would just beat down the teams and leave, not even bothering to talk all that much to them except to make witty banter, or in his case, slurred insults. "What are they?" Tsunade asked her curiosity piqued at the information.

Sakura seemed to get nervous as Neji and Kiba slowly backed away. Gulping and gathering her courage the pink haired girl stuttered, "H-He s-said for y-you to um, well…" here Sakura started to sweat bullets and tremble in fear.

"Would you just spit it out already!" Tsunade shouted, not in the mood for this.

"He told you to fuck off, hokage-sama," Sakura answered quickly and immediately hid behind Kiba and Neji, waiting in fear for the violent outburst that was sure to come.

For a moment Tsunade just sat there, a complete look of shock on her face, her mouth open slightly with disbelief in her eyes. Slowly her jaw started to twitch and a tic mark appeared on her head. "THAT CHEEKY LITTLE GAKI! I'M GOING TO KILL THAT LITTLE BASTARD!" Tsunade screamed at the top of her lungs as she smashed her fists into her desk. Somewhere near Tanzuka town, Naruto felt the urge to run far, far away from Fire country and he smirked to himself.

'_Seems the hag got my message'_ Naruto thought as he took a swig from his hip flask and headed for the nearest casino.

Back in Konoha, Sakura, Kiba, and Neji had taken refuge behind a couch as Tsunade had started launching various projectiles, all while shouting how she was going to 'make that blonde brat, wish he had never been born'. Apparently, it is unwise to tell Tsunade to fuck off, a lesson that should be best learned through word of mouth than the hard way. After some time Tsunade stopped throwing things and collapsed in her chair, panting heavily from her burst of rage.

Peering over the couch, all three ninja debated on who was going to tell her about Naruto's warning, and by debating I mean they started a very heated argument about who would be in the direct line of fire when she heard the news.

"Would you three just tell me already?" demanded a severely annoyed Tsunade, a tic mark on her forehead.

Sakura stepped forward and took a deep breath. Staring at her master full in the face Sakura said in a voice laden with fear, sadness and confusion, "Naruto says that if he is taken back he will leave again, only this time he will kill those who get in his way,"

The face that Tsunade had now was one of mild shock and deep regret. Suffice to say this was not the reaction Sakura, nor either chuunin behind her, expected. They expected yelling, cussing, curses or even a look of complete shock, not this one of shame and regret.

"Hokage-sama," Neji asked slowly, getting ready to bolt if she proved violent. "Why DID Naruto leave?" he asked, now more curious than ever to the reason why he left. Hell, everyone of the rookie nine, Gai's team and anyone who was affiliated with Naruto on a friendly basis wanted to know, which included Sasuke whose personality did a complete 180 after his thrashing from Naruto._ 'Odd how whenever Naruto beats someone they end up taking a turn for the better'_ Neji mentally noted.

Tsunade glanced at the team and sighed heavily. Reaching into a drawer on her desk she pulled out a document that had the signature of the hokage and several council members. Tossing it onto her desk she just sat back and started drinking her sake.

Curious, Sakura went over and started to read the document, her eyes growing wider and wider with each passing second. Finally reaching the end and seeing the signatures she looked back up at her sensei in horror. "Is this true? Did you really AGREE to this?" asked the pink haired girl in disbelief, desperately wishing that the woman that Naruto had considered as a grandmother wouldn't do something like this to the boy Tsunade thought of as a little brother.

When Tsunade just turned away to face out her window, Sakura dropped the paper and walked out, her face a fragile blank mask. Even more curious than ever Neji picked up the document and his eyes nearly popped out of his head when he read it.

"What does it say?" Kiba asked hesitantly, his canine partner whimpering in worry.

In a dead monotone Neji answered, "It is an order that Naruto have his ninja license taken away, his chakra sealed and his mind wiped of everything that has to do with his career as a shinobi," Staring at the back of his hokage's chair he finished, "And it has been approved by the hokage and several members of the council,"

Kiba stared in utter shock at him. "But that would mean…" Kiba stated slowly, not wanting to finish his sentence.

"It would mean Naruto would never be able to fulfill his dream, and he'd forget all of us and his techniques. Forced to live a life he never wanted, without even one good memory to look back on," Neji finished angrily, his Byakugan boring holes into Tsunade's chair. After Naruto vanished, Naruto's past was revealed. The villagers revealed it when they boasted how they would always hunt him and 'attempt to cleanse Konoha of the demon taint once and for all'. Needless to say, a LOT of villagers were found in the hospital, suffering from broken bones, stab wounds and Jyuuken strikes.

"I hope you are proud hokage-sama," Neji said icily. With that the Hyuuga prodigy tuned on his heel and left, Kiba slowly following after. Once they were gone, Tsunade let the sake bottle fall from her grip, the ground now soaked with a mixture of sake and tears that were rapidly falling from the slug sannin's eyes.

'_Dammit, Naruto I'm sorry, but I couldn't accept the alternative'_ she thought bitterly.

**Tanzuka town, casino**

Naruto smirked as he pulled in another pile of chips, much to the shock of everyone around him. Currently, the blonde had won about three million bucks in the last hour, and he hadn't lost a single bet. At the moment he was at the roulette table, and every time the wheel stopped, Naruto came away a couple thousand ryo richer.

'_Hehe, Kyuubi once again, you being in my gut has proven to be the best thing to happen to me'_ Naruto told his tenant happily.

"**Well kit, when it comes to luck, foxes have the best. Though you might want to ease on up. Don't want to tempt the lady to much," **Kyuubi recommended.

'_True enough, the last thing I need is a divine being screwing with me, besides if I keep winning like this, the owners are going to get pissed'_ replied the nuke-nin.

Grabbing his winnings, Naruto cashed in his chips and headed out for the local bar. What better way to end the day then with a good drink? **"Maybe ending it after having sex with a beautiful mate?"** Kyuubi suggested.

Naruto sighed at the fox's words. He may like the fox, but if there was one conversation he refused to have with the fox, it was about the opposite sex. _'Damn it Kyuubi we're not having this conversation'_ Naruto stated.

"**Oh come on kit, its about time you started searching for a suitable mate, besides, its not like you couldn't get a mate if you tried,"** the fox persisted.

'_And I keep telling you that its unwise to find one, what with Akatsuki and Konoha coming after us. Besides I'm a missing-nin with a huge bounty on my head if I'm brought in alive, a mate would just be too big a risk to our survival and freedom'_ Naruto retorted as he entered the bar and took a seat at the stool, letting off a little killing intent so people would subconsciously avoid going near him. Not to much to make people nervous about coming near him but just enough so that people would overlook the seats next to him.

The fox growled at his container,** "That's bull and you know it kit, if you find a strong mate then you could teach her some things and together you'd be unbeatable!"**

'_Doesn't matter, point is its just too risky to grow attached to someone at even a friendly level'_ Naruto replied dryly as he ordered some sake and told the guy to leave the bottle and dish.

"**Damn it kit! Why do you insist on this lonely existence? You have gone out of your way to make sure that no one comes near you and for what?"** Kyuubi shouted. When he didn't get an answer the fox sighed and continued quietly, **"You've never wanted to be alone before, in fact your biggest fear was to be left alone, to lose all those precious to you, why do you deny everyone that reaches out to you?"** inquired the fox. They may share a body, but they didn't know everything about each other. One thing the Kyuubi didn't understand was why Naruto insisted on being alone. Every other time the fox asked he just got blown off and the mental link cut.

Naruto just looked into his sake dish and sighed. _'I just don't want to be hurt again'_ the blonde replied in a voice the fox barely heard. Downing his drink, the Uzumaki grimaced at the memories that were beginning to surface.

**Flashback**

Naruto was sitting in a hospital bed back at Konoha, his face set in a giant smile as his eyes glowed with accomplishment. _'I did it Sakura, I brought Sasuke back'_ Naruto thought with a chuckle. Wondering if said Uchiha had woken up yet, the blonde got out of his bed and tossed on his usual jumpsuit. Said boy proceeded to walk out of the room and down the hall to Sasuke's room. As he approached he heard voices, getting closer he realized they were the voices of Ino and Sakura. He was about to walk in when he heard his name mentioned. Curious, the blonde pressed his ear to the door and listened in on what the girls were saying.

"That stupid baka! I told Naruto to bring Sasuke-kun back not nearly kill him!" Naruto heard Sakura say. Surprised and a little disappointed, the blonde sighed. Why is it that whatever he did, she just yelled at him?

"Relax Sakura, at least he brought Sasuke-kun back. I'm more surprised that Naruto actually beat Sasuke-kun," Ino stated with a bit of awe.

"He brought Sasuke back covered in blood Ino! There wasn't a scratch on him other than some rips in that ugly jumpsuit of his. He probably attacked Sasuke-kun when he wasn't looking," Sakura accused.

"The point is Sasuke-kun is back and he's not dead so chill out Billboard Brow," Ino stated in a matter of fact tone.

"Hmph, I'm still giving that baka a piece of my mind when I get the chance," Sakura stated.

Depressed, our hero sighed and walked off. _'Why do I even bother sometimes'_ Naruto thought dejectedly as he walked towards the hokage tower, ignoring the glares and whispers of the villagers as he went. _'Might as well go ask baa-chan how the others are doing'_ Naruto thought wistfully, just wanting to get his mind off of Sakura's words.

As he entered the tower, Naruto noticed that Shizune wasn't in her regular seat. Shrugging to himself Naruto proceeded towards the hokage office when he heard what sounded like a ton of angry voices coming from the council chambers. Curious, the blonde jumped into the ventilation shaft with practiced ease and followed the vents till he was over the council room. This wasn't the first time Naruto had eavesdropped on the council meetings, hell when he was younger he had learned about the demon long before Mizuki told him. (A.N: Yes, the scroll incident went different only in the fact that Naruto wasn't surprised when Mizuki told him, so he took Mizuki down before the silver haired bastard could nail Iruka with his big ass shuriken) Naruto wasn't surprised to see that the civilians and some shinobi were once again calling for his blood and worrying about Sasuke

"Hokage-sama, you can't let the fox get away with this! He nearly killed the last Uchiha!" shouted a civilian.

"Naruto did his job as a shinobi and Sasuke was going to betray the village for Orochimaru. The brat is lucky he's not going to be punished too severely," Tsunade said with a growl.

"Regardless, several of the clan heirs nearly died on this mission and the only one who wasn't harmed was the Uzumaki," stated the head of the ANBU division, a man that had long hated the boy for not only holding the creature that wiped out nearly half his forces but also for all the pranks he would play and outrun and humiliate his ninja. "Its obvious the brat went along without his team just to look like the big hero,"

"Shikamaru's report stated that he sent Naruto ahead of him and that each member of the retrieval squad was held up by each of Orochimaru's sound four," Tsunade retorted heatedly.

"We don't care Tsunade, the boy is too dangerous to be kept alive, it was revealed that he used the fox's chakra in his fight with the Uchiha. Whose to say the boy won't use more of its chakra? I won't risk Konoha's safety on a mere if," a man named Danzo stated. He was met with roars of approval.

"Then what would you suggest Danzo? We can't just kill the boy for fighting a traitor," Shibi Aburame replied.

"I'm not talking about punishment Shibi, he is simply too much of a risk," Danzo replied.

"I refuse to let Naruto be killed!" Tsunade roared.

"Then the only other option is exile," shouted another civilian.

"Fool! That would only make things worse! Once the boy leaves he could go to one of our enemies and give away all our secrets! Besides that, the brat has made powerful allies in many countries that now support us, if they learn the Uzumaki is gone or executed then they will more than likely give up all support they have been giving us!" roared a an elderly man named Homura. He didn't like the blonde but he was no fool, if Naruto disappeared then all their support from foreign countries would all but dry up.

"Well what do we do then? The brat is too much of a risk the way he is now! If something isn't done then by Kami there will be blood, make no mistake!" roared an old man on the civilian side. Once again there were roars of approval from the crowd as they too started to promise bloodshed and civil war if a solution wasn't found.

Naruto, to say the least, was very surprised. He'd seen the civilians angry before but never had they threatened with civil war. He may be loud and he may be dense at times, but Naruto knew for a fact that even if the civilians were quelled, a LOT of blood would be spilled and Konoha would be severely crippled from it.

"SILENCE!" Tsunade roared, shattering her desk to splinters with a well-placed fist, "Naruto will not be executed nor will he be exiled and that's final!" she declared heatedly.

"With all due respect Hokage-sama I refuse to let that thing walk away again without a proper solution," Danzo declared stoically, "If an acceptable solution is not found than many lives will be lost,"

"Is that a threat? I could have you killed for treason, Danzo," Tsunade growled.

"Its not a threat, it is a fact and you know it. If you will not take action then many others will, we can't have a civil war on out hands, especially with Akatsuki looking for the jinchuuriki," Danzo stated solemnly.

"I refuse to execute him, and as you said exiling him is a bad move so you just have to deal with it," Tsunade stated defiantly, confident that the matter was resolved.

"Actually, there is an alternative," Homura stated. "We discharge Naruto Uzumaki from the shinobi ranks,"

Tsunade paled at the suggestion, as a feeling of dread started to overcome Naruto.

"Excuse me, but how does discharging the de-, boy solve the problem with the Kyuubi?" asked a pink haired female council member.

"When a shinobi is discharged or removed from the ranks, he has his chakra sealed off completely and any memory related to his career as a shinobi is erased from the person's mind, that includes information on other shinobi, molding chakra, jutsus, seals and other ninja related information," Homura explained, "In all essence Naruto will forget everything about the Kyuubi, about fighting and be nothing more than an average civilian," finished the old man. After the explanation, there were roars of approval and demands that this action is carried out immediately.

"SILENCE!" Tsunade roared once more, "I am the hokage and I will decide what happens to one of MY shinobi," she growled.

"Tsunade it is either this or the deaths of many, make your choice," Danzo declared. Silence encased the room after the war hawk's declaration, as everyone waited to see what their leader would do.

Tsunade was torn, she either refused the order and risk a rebellion or she carry out the order and take away everything that was precious to her surrogate little brother away from him. She looked at the ground in defeat, her hollow voice giving the answer that shattered Naruto's heart, "The order shall be carried out, Naruto Uzumaki will be discharged from the shinobi corps," the woman declared quietly.

**Flashback End**

As those last words played through the blonde man's mind over and over again, a single tear formed in the corner of his eye. Turning back to his drink, Naruto tossed the dish away and downed the bottle of sake. Turning his mind off, Naruto just focused on drinking bottle after bottle of sake, intent on losing himself within the alcoholic beverage. Drinking could make him faster than the wind, strong enough to shatter mountains and other incredible things, but the one thing it couldn't do was cure him of his aching heart.

**A/N: I figured that the Sakura being mad at him and the whole exile thing was just too played out. Also the fact that Naruto left because he was sick of the village just wouldn't cut it for this one. I figure this way, he didn't do it out of hatred or being fed up with everything, but instead out of self preservation. Anyway, R&R and be sure to check out my other stories.**


	3. Chapter 3

Drunken Shinobi

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Summons/Demon speaking"**

'_**Summons/Demon thinking'**_

**A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the reviews and be sure to keep em coming. Also I have been asked that Naruto be left alone, as in no pairings. However, I have also been asked that he be paired with someone, just not a pairing you usually see. ( Naru/Hina Naru/Saku etc.). So send in some opinions on that and we'll see what happens. Now lets keep this show going.**

Gaara no Sabaku, jinchuuriki of the Ichibi, a man who had only been defeated once before, was now in an epic battle with the bane of kages and leaders everywhere… paperwork.

The young Kazekage was doing paperwork once more with a calm face, apparently unconcerned with the mountain of documents in front of him. Inwardly though he was cursing humanity for ever even thinking of creating so much damn paper. The red head desperately needed a break, but there seemed to be no way out of doing the damned requirement of reading, stamping and signing.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and while the knock itself wasn't anything more than a simple rap of flesh on wood, to Gaara it sounded like the melody of salvation. "Enter," called out the young man, trying not to sound too relieved or happy, after all he had the reputation of an emotionless badass to keep up.

The door opened to reveal none other than Naruto Uzumaki, "Hey Gaara! How's the sand?" asked the blonde with a toothy grin. Gaara smiled at his friend's boisterous attitude.

"Hello Naruto, the sand is fine, but how are you? I haven't seen you in what? Three, six months?" inquired Gaara.

Naruto smiled at that. Ever since he left Konoha, Gaara had always welcomed him with open arms and a place to stay. He'd pop in every now and then to see how things were and to throw off the Konoha retrieval teams. During those stays Naruto and Gaara had become something akin to brothers.

"I'm fine, just decided to pop in here for a while to throw the leaf off my trail," Naruto said nonchalantly.

Gaara nodded at that, "Right then. I'm going to assume you want your regular room?" asked the redhead. Naruto nodded at that and made himself comfy in one of the chairs in the office.

"By the way Gaara I have some news," Naruto said suddenly serious. "Akatsuki has finally started to mobilize and I'm sure they're going to try and attack you first," Gaara widened his eyes a bit at that. He knew the Akatsuki were planning on gathering the bijuu from the jinchuuriki but he always assumed they would go after the easier to capture ones first, not one who was a Kage.

"What makes you say this Naruto?" Gaara asked in a monotone. He trusted Naruto's information right down to the punctuation marks because so far it hadn't led him astray yet. _'An advantage to being a master of Suijutsu is that you're always surrounded by the loose tongues of gossipers and drunks alike'_ the young kage thought with a wistful note. Besides it was thanks to Naruto that he could sleep again, not only had the blonde fixed his seal but he had also added another seal that would sedate Shukaku should he become too unruly. The second seal would wear off when the demonic tanuki's mind settled. It also made it much easier for Gaara to control the Bijuu's chakra.

"From what I understand, the only thing that can hold all nine bijuu is something called the 'King of Hell', a summons or artifact of some kind. Kyuubi told me that each bijuu must be sealed in numerical order otherwise they would simply escape back into the world," Naruto explained. "Also I've got more information on the members and very possibly who will come after you,"

Gaara leaned forward on his desk, hands clasped firmly in front of him. "What are their names?" he demanded now all business.

Naruto smirked at his fellow demon container, "We already know that Itachi and Kisame are ordered to go after me, leaving seven people to come after you, but I think one of them is nothing more than a scout, leaving six people," Naruto said, "The two that I believe are coming here will most likely be able to take on multiple foes at once and have some knowledge of Suna. So, from my known list of the members, I can safely say that Sasori will come here with his partner Deidara, a master of explosives," here Naruto paused and gave him a serious glare, "The reason I believe it is them is because Sasori is from Suna so he knows the lay of the land, also his puppets and poison will easily take care of any shinobi that may follow them. Deidara's explosives will also cause large amounts of damage and its capable of taking out large groups as well. Also I doubt even your sand can handle barrage after barrage of bombs," finished the blonde.

"When will they be here?" Gaara asked. Naruto sighed at that and took a drink from his flask. "That's the thing Gaara, I only know that those two are the most likely to come after you, other than that I have no idea when they'll strike. It could be days, weeks, maybe even a year before they finally attack and even then I'm not sure the Akatsuki realize they have to capture the jinchuuriki in order, so for all I know, I'm just screaming wolf." Naruto said in an exasperated tone. The thing about drunks and gossips is that it was hard to discern truth from lies, though a drunk man was more likely to tell the truth then a lie, but even then, drunken men's tongues were often ignored for they only spewed nonsense most of the time. Still he had learned a while ago that information was a powerful thing and you should never disregard anything because it sounds stupid.

Gaara sighed at that, "So is there anything else I should know about? He asked almost fearing more bad news.

Naruto closed his eyes in thought for a minute or so, "Not really, but Orochimaru should be looking to switch bodies soon and I'm sure he'll go after the Uchiha once again so be prepared if Konoha calls for help, other than that, I've got nothing except the clothes on my back and the alcohol both in and on my person," Naruto finished with a grin.

Gaara had to resist rolling his eyes at that last statement and just settled for a small smile. "Thanks Naruto I'll be sure to relay the information to my shinobi and Konoha," Gaara said while shuffling some papers on his desk. "So what do you plan on doing now?" Gaara asked nonchalantly.

Naruto shrugged at the redhead and leaned back in his chair. "I'll probably just go to the bar for a bit then hit the hot springs for some R and R until Konoha starts searching wind country for me, then I'm off," Naruto replied with a carefree attitude. Inwardly though, Naruto's heart ached to stay in one place, to find a place he could call home other than the bars. His eye had a bit of a longing look in it but he immediately replaced it with his usual grin that caused his eyes to close. "Well I'll be heading out then, beers to drink, training to do," Naruto stated as he got up and walked towards the door.

"You know my offer still stands," Gaara said as he stared at the departing man with a calculating stare.

The blonde hesitated for a moment with his hand on the door. He sighed as he turned one blue eye to the red head. "I appreciate it but I just can't be a Suna ninja right now, maybe when things have calmed down a bit I'll take it but right now," the blonde paused and turned away, "Its just too chaotic," he finished. Without another word the nuke-nin left.

Gaara closed his eyes and sighed through his nose. _'When will he let go of his past?'_ asked the red head mentally. Three years Gaara watched the blonde try to drown his sorrows in alcohol. Three years, he watched him isolate himself further and further, his only company being the tanuki he summons. The old Naruto was gone, leaving behind this tired husk. Something needed to happen to reignite the flames of passion the blonde once held. The redhead knew they were there by the fact that he went around gathering information to keep his friends safe, but the flames were small. Naruto needed to get involved, but he kept saying it wasn't his problem.

Sighing, the young Kazekage wet back to work, wondering just what it would take for the old Naruto to return. Unbeknownst to both jinchuurikis, two robed figures, one hunchbacked and the other tall, were heading towards Suna. The most distinguishing feature about both were the red clouds on their pitch-black cloaks.

**Later that night, at a hotspring**

Naruto sighed in content as he slipped into the warm refreshing waters, flask in hand and cheeks all ready red from alcohol. _'Now this is what the doctor ordered'_ thought the blonde with a drunken smirk. However his smirk died when he felt the village shake from a very large explosion. Alarmed, the blonde leapt out of the water and quickly put on his clothes. Once he was fully clothed, the blonde leapt out of the fenced off springs to behold a sight he though he would never see.

There in the sky was Gaara on a floating cloud of sand, fighting against a woman in black cloak with red clouds on it, with hairstyle that had a bang of her blonde hair covering her left eye. The blonde also noticed that she had a slashed Iwa headband, the sign of a nuke-nin. The female was flying around on a large white bird like creature while throwing smaller clay sculptures at the red head, all of them exploding in an admittedly glorious fashion. Sighing, Naruto did some hand seals before biting his thumb and slamming it on the ground. With a bang, a cloud of smoke appeared only to evaporate to reveal a black and brown tanuki with the kanji for up written on his rather rotund belly, along with a green vest and red Chinese peasant hat. He also had a pipe in his mouth and was the size of small dog.

"Hey Jou-shi! (boss) whats the word?" asked the tanuki in a happy voice, it eyes shut with a toothy smile on its face.

"Gaara needs help and the battle is taking place in the air, got any of your special brew Sora?" Naruto asked the tanuki.

Said creature chuckled before pulling out a jug from seemingly nowhere. "You know it! So you flyin solo, or am I drinkin?" asked Sora.

"You drink, I'll fight and fly," Naruto informed the creature with a smirk. Chuckling, the tanuki jumped onto the blonde's head and wrapped his tail around the blonde before he took a giant swig from his jug. Being sure to latch on with chakra, Naruto and Sora flew into the air thanks to the tanuki's 'light beer'.

Gaara sent another sand wave at his enemy, hoping to catch the man before he could do some more damage to the village. Suppressing a growl, Gaara directed his sand to avoid another volley of those strange exploding clay birds. _'This is getting no where, I need to end this!'_ thought the Kazekage. Gathering some sand in front of him Gaara whispered, "Suna Shuriken," and with that, the sand in front of him launched towards the blonde male, the sand changing into the form of the infamous four-pointed star. Cursing, the blonde man leapt off his bird, as the shuriken shredded it to bits before throwing out another of his creations. The clay object poofed before forming an owl the size of a horse.

Heading to land on the clay bird, the blonde was surprised when a fist came out of nowhere and slammed into his jaw sending him flying. The black robed man would have died if not for his bird saving him. Growling the blonde looked to see some blonde kid with a raccoon on his head floating in front of him, "What the hell un? Can't you see I'm trying to create art here!" shouted the man.

Naruto blinked before realization dawned on him, "Holy shit it's a dude!" Naruto yelled, causing everyone who heard to sweatdrop.

"Of course I'm a guy! Now who are you and what are you doing interrupting Deidara's art, un?" asked the man now revealed to be Deidara.

"I'm an alcoholic who was trying to relax before your cross dressing ass started blowing up the place!" Naruto shouted while doing some hand seals. Taking a deep breath, Naruto spat out a fireball at the man with a cry of "Fireball Jutsu!"

Deidara dodged the fireball, before cursing as another wave of sand came at him. Thinking quickly Deidara sent another explosive sculpture at the sand, the explosion effectively scattering the sand.

'_Dammit! I need to do something! The jinchuuriki is bad enough but with this guy, I'm screwed!'_ thought Deidara. Dodging yet another wave of sand and sending some of his explosives at Naruto, Deidara slowly started to form a plan. With an evil grin, he leapt at Gaara, surprised the redhead had no time to react as Deidara slammed an open palm to the sand jinchuuriki's stomach. Gasping slightly, the red head backhanded the Akatsuki member away. Deidara smirked; his plan was starting to work now to deal with-

"Drunken Wind style: Drunken Whirlwind!" roared Naruto before he started spinning. Soon, the blonde had become a human hurricane before slamming straight into Deidara. Surprised the bomber tried to use his clay but found that he was completely at the mercy of Naruto's whirlwind. Struggling, Deidara managed to latch onto Naruto's arm for a second before said blonde abruptly stopped spinning, sending the feminine looking man crashing into one of the many sandstone buildings.

"Sheesh, warn me next time you do that," Sora told his summoner. His words fell on deaf ears however due to the fact that Naruto was currently trying to regain his balance. "Drunken techniques, powerful but they will fuck you up," Sora sighed as Naruto's eyes finally stopped spinning in their sockets.

"Kami I hate using drunken wind style," Naruto moaned.

"At least you didn't vomit or pass out," Sora supplied. Before he could reply, a sudden bang from behind him caused the blonde to turn around in horror. He watched in horror as from the giant smoke cloud created from the bomb descended Gaara, like an angel cast from heaven.

"GAARA!" Naruto screamed, quickly the blonde sped towards his friend only to start screaming in agony as an explosion ripped through his back, dispelling Sora and causing Naruto to fall. With unbelieving eyes, the blonde watched as Deidara appeared on some white pelican that proceeded to swallow the Kazekage and fly off. The world darkened for Naruto as he watched the image of Deidara fly off, the Uzumaki finally fell into unconsciousness when his body finally hit the ground with a sickening crunch.

**With Deidara**

The blonde bomber grinned I n satisfaction as he made his escape with the Ichibi jinchuuriki. He patted himself on the back for placing those spider bombs on the two fighters. The first time was when he had slammed a palm into the red head, ejecting the bombs through the mouths on his hands and the second time when he had latched onto the arm of Naruto before he was sent flying into that building. _'Gotta admit, that was one hell of an attack'_ thought Deidara. That whirlwind hadn't just sent him flying but it had also put hundreds of miniscule cuts on his body, all of them over arteries, capillaries and veins. Deidara counted himself lucky that he had managed to protect himself with a coating of his clay acting like armor. Seeing his partner, Deidara landed and faced a hunchbacked man in the same cloak as him with a mask over his lower face.

"Do you have the target?" asked the hunchback.

"Hai, Sasori-sempai" Deidara replied. The hunchback nodded before starting to walk away. As they walked, Deidara formed a tiger handsign and said one word. "Katsu!" with that, the gates leading into Suna exploded, crushing any pursuing ninja and blocking off any more from following ninja. "Arts a blast," commented the blonde.

"Feh, your explosions are not art," Sasori growled, never stopping his gait.

"It is art! Art is something that is seen only for a glorious instant before its gone forever!" Deidara argued.

"Hold it right there!" shouted a voice, causing both missing nin to halt. Turning they beheld A boy in an all black outfit, fingerless gloves, black sandals, a hood that resembled a cat somewhat and purple war paint. On his back were three scrolls and by the look in his dark eyes, the two criminals knew they weren't leaving without a fight.

"Move boy, we are on a schedule and you're impeding it," Sasori growled. "If you do not move," here he paused as a giant segmented white scorpion tail appeared from under his robe behind him, "I will be forced to remove you!" threatened the hunchbacked ninja.

Kankuro smirked at this, "Big words but you'll never even touch me," bragged the Suna ninja, with that, he removed the scrolls from his back and summoned forth three puppets. One was a giant salamander, another was a humanoid shape but had six arms, large red horns, three eyes and a barrel shaped body, the last puppet was also humanoid with three eyes but had four arms and very jagged teeth along with spiky brown afro. "Lets go, Karasu," the spiky haired one clattered in response, "Kuroari," the barrel-chested one came to life, "Sanshouo!" the salamander then clattered to life. All three puppets clacked in preparation for battle, their wielder smirking confidently while his hands were held out, strings of chakra connected to his weapons.

Sasori just snorted before attacking with his tail, seeing the incoming danger, Kankuro activated Sanshouo's shield, confident that the tail wouldn't be able to penetrate. Imagine his surprise when the tail twisted and slammed into the joints of Sanshouo, removing the shield and causing the puppet to fall apart.

Snarling, Kankuro sent out Karasu and Kuroari to attack Sasori, but once again the tail came forward and attacked the joints of both puppets, disabling the puppets easily. Surprised Kankuro could only watch in shock, as his puppets were defeated so easily.

"I had heard somebody was using my old puppets and I can see that my art was wasted in being passed down to you," Sasori commented, his tail idly gesturing towards a mark on the back of Karasu's head, a scorpion inside of a diamond. "The thing about puppets is that they are incredibly weak in regards to their joints, you had the misfortune of not only fighting another puppet user, but the best puppet user known to man!" proclaimed the hunchback. With that, Sasori plunged his tail once more at the black clad ninja.

Thinking quickly, Kankuro barely avoided the tail, the tip grazing his right arm, and sent a chakra string to Karasu's head. The puppet head sprang to life and attempted to bite Sasori, but only managed in ripping some cloth off of the puppet user's red cloud cloak. Before Kankuro could try again he started to feel dizzy, groaning the chuunin tried to stay standing but ended up on all fours, his breaths becoming ragged.

"What the hell?" Kankuro gasped, his vision starting to fade and swirl. Suddenly the answer hit the boy all too easily. "Poison," he gasped.

"Goodbye boy, we will not meet again," Sasori told him. With that, the Akatsuki members left Kankuro to die in the desert. Desperately, Kankuro flared out as much chakra as he could before succumbing to the land of the unconscious. Not long after Kankuro fell unconscious, a certain drunken shinobi appeared, though his trench coat was pretty much gone and his back was covered in ash and dried blood.

"**Kit, you really shouldn't be moving right now, a wrong move and your spine could snap!"** Kyuubi told his vessel. It was true, that explosion had fractured a lot of the vertebrae in his spine, if it wasn't for his demonic healing factor and some special liquors that helped heal the body, Naruto would probably be dead.  
_'No time we, need to get Kankuro back to the hospital then head after Gaara,'_ Naruto replied to his tenant while picking up the puppet boy and sealing away his weapons.

"**Do you really think you can beat those two on your own?"** Kyuubi questioned.

'_I'll get some Suna shinobi to come help me after dropping off Kankuro at the hospital'_ Naruto told him.

"**You know as well as I do that there is no way Suna can afford to send any ninja and you know for a fact that Suna won't be able to get rid of that poison. I can smell it from here and no medic in Suna is skilled enough to extract it!"** Kyuubi reprimanded the blonde.

'_Then what do you suggest we do?'_ questioned the blonde. There was silence before what the fox was implying started to dawn on the blonde. _'NO! HELL NO! I will NOT go to THEM for help!'_ roared the blonde mentally. _'I've avoided them for three years and I REFUSE to get involved in the ninja business again!'_ Naruto would have gone on but the Kyuubi stopped him.

"**YOU WILL BE SILENT!"** roared the trapped demon, **"You WILL put aside your problems with Konoha and you WILL get their help to save Gaara!"** ordered the fox. **"If you do not then this boy will die** **as will Gaara! If that happens, Akatsuki gets one step closer to their goal and you lose one of the few friends you have!"** Kyuubi yelled.

Naruto grit his teeth in anger as he reentered Suna before handing Kankuro off to some medics._ 'And what if I just went and got Gaara by myself? I could easily beat those two with your help and the tanukis'_ Naruto bargained.

"**Then Kankuro dies, do you really want that on your conscience? A death of a friend when you could have easily prevented it?'** asked the Kyuubi heatedly. Naruto didn't respond just clenched his fists in anger as his teeth started to grind against each other. Sighing in frustration the blonde let a sad smile appear on his face.

'_Fine, lets go give the assholes a visit'_ Naruto replied dryly. With that, the blonde left the village on route to his childhood hell. _'And the demon returns to Konoha'_ thought the blonde morbidly.

**A/N: Done. Ok just to tell you this story won't be updated to frequently, in fact, expect a lot of wait time with this mostly because it's a side project, not one of my main stories. That said, please read and review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Drunken Shinobi

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Summons/Demon speaking"**

'_**Summons/Demon thinking'**_

**A/N: Allow me to clarify some things for those who are complaining about the fight with Deidara. Number one, Deidara is an S-rank nin and therefore on equal grounds with both Gaara and Naruto. Next, HE'S A FUCKING EXPLOSIVE SPECIALIST! YOU get your back pretty much blown the fuck off by C4 and tell me it's a weak ass attack! Gaara got the bigger punch because Deidara put MORE C4 on Gaara then on Naruto, but because of his sand armor, didn't get blown to kingdom come! Naruto got less but he doesn't have fucking armor! And if you start saying Naruto knew Deidara was a bombs expert, he only knew he used explosives, not LIVING EXPLOSIVE CLAY! Also, as for why Naruto didn't use a Kage bunshin to take Kankuro back and go after Deidara and Sasori alone, well, TWO S RANKS BEATS ONE! Naruto isn't an idiot! Besides, I needed a reason for him to go back to Konoha so the story would progress ad this was the best way. But I also have to admit that its my fault for overlooking these holes and being a lazy jackass so I'm SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE THIS WRETCHED WRITER! Anyway lets move on.**

Naruto grimaced as he saw his former village ahead. It was the last thing he wanted to do, but Kankuro needed help and he wasn't dumb enough to go after two S-rank nins alone. **"Wouldn't have to if you didn't underestimate your opponent in the first place,"** the fox reprimanded him.

'_Shut up, he was using living bombs Kyuubi, living bombs!'_ he defended himself.

"**And yet even after initially seeing this you decided to hold back and get your ass handed to you, what was the first thing I taught you boy?"** responded the demon with a scolding tone.

'_Never underestimate an opponent and never EVER play with them.'_ Grumbled the blonde. _'In my defense I'd say it's the writers fault and he's trying to cover his ass'_ Naruto thought while glaring at Danasca.

"OI! I tried dammit! You're not one of my main projects!" Danasca shouted back at the main character. "I already apologized what do I have to do dammit?" asked the all knowing, great and mighty, not to men-

"**STOP MAKING YOURSELF LOOK GOOD AND WRITE THE STORY BEFORE I USE YOUR SKULL AS A PAPERWEIGHT AND YOUR ENTRAILS FOR DENTAL FLOSS!"** roared the Kyuubi.

Naruto sighed and grabbed a drink from his flask, _'This is going to be a long day'_ grumbled the blonde. Without a second glance behind him, Naruto marched towards the gates of Konoha. Growling slightly, the blonde made some handseals before disappearing in swirl of leaves, his destination being the hokage's tower.

**Hokage's tower**

Shizune, a woman in a black kimono and white obi with shoulder length black hair, sighed as she did some paper work for her master Tsunade. The busty hokage was once again locked in her office, trying to drown her sorrows in sake while she lamented the loss of her surrogate son. _'It really isn't the same without Naruto-kun'_ thought the assistant. Distracted as she was with her thoughts she failed to notice the man that approached her desk.

"Excuse me, but I have some urgent news for the hokage," stated the man.

Shizune didn't even look up as she responded tiredly, "Lady Tsunade is busy right now, you'll have to wait,"

The man snorted at that. "Old bitch is probably just downing sake," he growled. At that Shizune got a little angry. A drinker her master may be, but she wouldn't let someone insult her like that, not on her watch.

"And what gives you the right to insult her," she said, snapping her head up to glare at the man, only to gasp in shock as she saw the familiar blonde hair, blue eyes and whisker marks. "Naruto?," she asked, not willing to believe the boy was back.

"I have every right to insult her Shizune, but I came for help so either you go tell her I'm here or I go in myself," growled the blonde. He didn't really hate Shizune, but Shizune had been on a team to try and capture him so there were some hard feelings there. Especially since Shizune had tried to paralyze the blonde when they had met in a hug. The blonde couldn't exactly remember why they hugged, but he did remember the feeling of a needle entering his neck and Shizune apologizing. After that, well, he knocked her and her team out with a special ninjutsu called Noxious Haze. It involved him spewing out a toxic cloud laced with alcohol that knocked most people out with the smell alone.

Shizune just nodded before entering the office. There she saw Tsunade downing sake, a flush on her face and tears in her eyes as she stared at a picture of her, Jiraiya and Naruto. "Tsunade-sama," Shizune called out quietly, catching the hokage's attention, "There's someone here to see you," she said.

"Tell them I'm busy," the hokage replied bitterly, her eyes going back to the picture.

"Another blatant lie for me, how am I not surprised," called out a voice that was eerily familiar to the busty woman. Surprised, the blonde looked up to see the last person she would ever expect to meet in her office, let alone anywhere near Konoha.

"Naruto?" she said, disbelief coloring her entire face, before it morphed into happiness. "Naruto!" she exclaimed happily. She got up to hug the boy only for a sharp growl to stop her.

"I'm not here for a tearful reunion Tsunade," he growled coldly, a dark sense of satisfaction growing in him as he watched grief cross the woman's face. "I'm here because Gaara has been taken by Akatsuki and his brother is suffering from a poison only you or Sakura-ama can cure," he stated. "I need help and you have the tools I need," finished the missing nin as he took a swig from his hip flask.

Tsunade regarded the blonde with a calculating stare, "And why are you coming here in person? Surely Suna is capable of sending their own ninja to get Gaara as well as sending a message to us to cure Kankuro," questioned the blonde woman.

Naruto glared at the woman, "Suna has already been attacked and their shinobi are needed to make repairs and secure their borders. It's their policy to immediately secure the whole then go after their leader. This isn't the first time its happened to them and you have an obligation to both Suna and me to help," growled the man.

"I am aware of our alliance with Suna but I fail to see how I owe you, a missing nin, anything," Tsunade replied coolly, her conflicting emotions hidden behind a careful mask of indifference.

Naruto's blue eyes hardened at this statement. "Let me ask you this: Who was it that pulled you from your seemingly endless depression? Who was the one that brought Sasuke back? Who, did you betray?" asked the blue-eyed demon container in quiet anger. Tsunade shifted her eyes away from the piercing gaze of the man in front of her. "I'm the one who saved you from your darkness, I'm the one who brought back your precious Uchiha and I'm the one who you betrayed. If you have any sense of honor hokage-sama," Naruto spat out that word like it was poison, "Then you will gather a team and have them assist me in retrieving the Kazekage and helping Kankuro," the blonde finished coldly.

Tsunade stared at Naruto for a moment before sighing and turning to Shizune who had remained quiet. "Get team 7 and team Gai, tell them they're on a mission to Sand and will meet with an escort at the north gate in one hour where they will be briefed fully on what their mission is," Tsunade ordered her assistant. Shizune nodded before rushing off to do her task.

Once left alone, Tsunade turned to Naruto with a sorrowful look, "Naruto, I just wan to-," she was cut off when Naruto held up a hand.

"Save it for when I give a shit Tsunade, apologize as much as you want but the fact is you betrayed me," he said standing to leave.

"Naruto I didn't want to do it, I would never want to stop you from reaching your dream," Tsunade said desperately, trying to convey how sorry she was to the blonde. She watched in apprehension as the boy stopped and turned back to face her.

"Is that why you think I hate you?" Naruto asked with a bitter chuckle, "I don't hate you for being forced to agree with the council, because I knew that if you didn't they'd revolt," responded the boy, catching Tsunade by surprise. "I was in the vents and heard everything, but that's not why I hate," he said.

"Then why do you hate, Naruto?" asked a curious Tsunade.

Naruto glared at her fully before explaining, "Because instead of warning me, you just sat there. When I escaped instead of helping me run away, you attacked me!" snarled the blonde. "I thought I could trust you to help me, you, Jiraiya and Kakashi, but instead you all attacked me in an attempt to subdue me!" the blonde shouted. Tsunade watched with horror, as Naruto's blue eyes became hard glaciers of fury and hurt, the pupils turning into slits as Naruto struggled to suppress the rising demonic chakra. "I truly thought you cared about me but instead you tried to take away everything I held dear!" Naruto roared. Taking in a breath Naruto closed his eyes as he continued, "I hate you Tsunade, because you took my trust and threw it back at me, it was foolish of me to think of you, or anyone in Konoha for that matter, as family," here the blonde gave a shaky sigh, informing the busty woman that he was barely holding back tears, "Goodbye Tsunade, I hope we never meet again," finished the blonde before walking out and slamming the door behind him.

The hokage slumped in her chair as she watched him leave. Feeling hollow she swiveled in he chair to watch the village, sake completely forgotten.

**North gate**

A confused Sakura arrived at the north gate to see her teammate Sasuke and Kakashi along with team Gai.

"Yo Sakura," Kakashi greeted his student lazily. Sasuke gave her a nod and a small smirk, and Sakura couldn't help but check out the boy in his white hakama top with the Uchiha crest on the back and the purple hakama pants with a red sash around his waist holding several weapons pouches and a simple kusanagi. Neji just nodded at her while Tenten waved happily. Lee and Gai were a little more vocal.

"Sakura-chan! I look forward to working with on this mission that will surely test our flames of YOUTH!" Gai greeted loudly and enthusiastically.

"Yes! On this mission I vow to finally win your heart Sakura-chan!" Lee shouted, "If I cannot then I shall run around the village five times on my thumbs!" he promised.

"That's the spirit Lee!" Gai encouraged his mini me with a thumbs up and blinding smile.

"Does anyone even know what our mission is?" Tenten asked quickly, hoping to avoid the man hug the two green spandex wearing men would undoubtedly get into. With an inaudible sigh of relief she saw that it did stop the two taijutsu specialists in their tracks. She also noted that everyone else either shook their head or gained a thoughtful look.

"Your mission is to help me," said a voice that was accompanied by the smell of sake. In surprise all heads snapped towards the voice to stare in disbelief as Naruto approached them, sake bottle in one hand while the other was in his coat pocket. "I'll brief you on our way to Suna, now hurry up," with that the blonde leapt off into the trees. For a minute, the Konoha shinobi just stood there in shock before leaping after the drunk.

They easily caught up to the blonde and were now moving at a fast pace in a tight clump. Team Gai was somewhat behind as Team 7 flanked their former teammate.

"Naruto-" Sakura began only to be interrupted by Naruto. "Save it, this is business no more no less, now shut up and listen," Naruto snapped harshly.

Sasuke frowned at this, "Whats your problem dobe?" he demanded.

"None of your business Uchiha," Naruto replied coldly. Sasuke frowned when he called him by his clan name instead of bastard like he usually did. The raven haired boy was surprised when he felt a little hurt that his former friend wouldn't acknowledge him but only his clan name. "Your job is to help me save the Kazekage, who has been kidnapped by the Akatsuki members Deidara of Iwa and Sasori of Suna," he informed them.

Surprise flitted through the group. Gaara had been captured? Impossible, the red head had only been defeated once, and that was by the nuke-nin in front of them! "Once we get to Suna, I need Haruno to heal Kankuro so we can get some info on which way the two went with Gaara, after that, we move off to rescue him," Naruto informed them. With that he increased his speed, forcing any questions to stop so they could keep up. After several hours they finally stopped in a clearing, Sakura and Tenten were panting hard, while Neji and Sasuke drew in haggard breaths. Lee, Gai and Kakashi were winded but were surprised to see Naruto not even fazed by the long run.

"Glad to see that you all can at least keep up," stated the jinchuuriki, taking a drink from his flask. Sakura glared at the blonde and would have pummeled him if she wasn't so tired.

"What exactly do you mean keep up?" Kakashi asked curiously.

Naruto snorted at that, "I was testing your endurance, I could never properly gauge you guys when you came after me because I always managed to either pummel you, escape you or a combination of both," Naruto answered in amusement. This of course infuriated Sakura and she was about to do what she used to do to the blonde when he pissed her off, hit him over the head hard enough to make him think he was a chicken.

"YOU BAKA!" she roared, fist already moving to hit the boy. She was surprised however when the boy made an uppercut and knocked Sakura's fist into the air. As her arm was raised it exposed her entire right side, Naruto moved in and slammed his head into her ribs. With a gasp of pain Sakura doubled over her ribs exposing her other side. With blinding speed, Naruto appeared on her exposed side and drove a hand spear into Sakura's left kidney. Sakura hit the ground groaning in pain while the Uzumaki glared at her.

"Attack me again and I'll cripple you," Naruto stated in a deadpan. Before anyone could say anything Naruto was doing hand signs. Finishing the blonde slammed his and on the ground and in a giant poof of smoke two very, VERY large creatures appeared.

When the smoke cleared, it revealed a large red toad with a scar over one of its yellow eyes wearing a blue vest, a tanto at his side and a pipe in his mouth. Every Konoha ninja knew who this was; it was the chief toad Gamabunta. (you really think I'd let Naruto get rid of the toads?)

The other one was a very large sand colored tanuki with giant perfectly round shades a green vest with the kanji for boss on the back in black. The tanuki also had a very large stomach that was wrapped in a red sash. On his right side was a giant canteen with a picture of a drunken tanuki on it grinning like an idiot. The tanuki grinned widely down at his summoner, "Hey Naruto! How's it going little dude?" asked the big guy before lowering one of his paws towards the human, his paw now a fist.

Naruto grinned at the big tanuki, "Hey Jakku! I'm doing good," replied the blonde before bumping the summons gigantic fist with his own.

"Why the hell have you summoned me?" Gamabunta demanded, "I don't see any enemies and further more, why did you also summon Jakku?" demanded the giant toad.

"I need you guys to give me and my," he paused and frowned slightly, "associates a lift back to Suna,"

"WHAT? You summon me just to carry your lazy ass across the desert?" roared Gamabunta, clearly outraged, "That is work for other toads, not me!" roared the toad.

"Ma, ma Gama-san, I'm sure Naruto has a good reason for having us transport him and his friends to Suna," Jakku said casually before gesturing to the blonde to speak.

"First off they're not my friends," Naruto stated, completely ignoring the small looks of hurt or sadness that flitted across the Konoha ninjas faces. "Second, Akatsuki has captured Gaara and is probably starting to extract Shukaku as we speak," here a surprised and worried look crossed Jakku's features while Gamabunta just glared at his summoner. "Time is of the essence and you two can cover the most ground in the smallest amount of time,"

"True but that doesn't explain why you summoned BOTH of us," Gamabunta growled. "One of us is capable of carrying eight people to Suna,"

"Bunta, I need you to take team Gai and head towards river country, my sources tell me there's an Akatsuki base there and if I'm correct that's where Sasori and Deidara are headed, And before you argue, its the closest one that i know of" Naruto explained, "Jakku is taking Sakura-ama, Uchiha, Kakashi and myself through the desert to Suna so we can heal Kankuro. After that, we'll meet up with you in river country," the blonde finished. Seeing that the red toad was about to complain again Naruto took out a scroll and unrolled it to reveal a storage seal. Pumping chakra into the seal there was a poof of smoke that cleared to reveal a wooden keg half Naruto's size with the kanji for thousand written on it.

Gamabunta's eyes widened a bit at the sight of the barrel while Jakku lowered his shades to reveal surprised brown eyes. "If you guys help me, I'll give you a barrel each of my special thousand sake," Naruto grinned slyly. _'No way they'll refuse now' _thought the blonde.

Jakku and Gamabunta were drooling slightly at the offer. An entire keg of Naruto's special thousand sake? It was almost too good to be true! "DEAL!" roared the two summons before snatching up their respective charges and leaping off, Jakku and team 7 to Suna, Gamabunta and Team Gai to river country.

At first, Sasuke and Sakura had trouble riding on the giant tanuki, but they soon settled on the giant animal comfortably enough to attempt conversation with their blonde former teammate. "So, Naruto," Sakura started off slowly, "whats your special thousand sake?" she asked.

Naruto glanced at her before smirking slightly, "It's a special brew of mine that I've aged for a thousand years, making it quite potent. One sip, and you will find yourself in a euphoria of bliss and go through a thousand sensations of pleasure, one sip and you'll feel like you've gone to heaven!" Naruto pronounced proudly.

"Whoa, must pack one hell of a punch," Sasuke muttered to himself. Then something struck him as odd, "How the hell is that sake a thousand years old?" he asked out loud.

"That my friend is a secret known only to me and Old man Whiskey," Naruto responded.

"Old Man Whiskey?" Kakashi questioned.

"Actually his name is Danieru Uisuki, but everyone calls him Old Man Whiskey," explained the blonde, "He's a hermit brewer that lives up in the mountains in the land of fangs, but he's known to travel. The guy keeps to himself for the most part and is a bit…," here Naruto paused to think of the right word.

"Senile? Demented? Belongs in a padded room in a white jacket?" offered Jakku as he crushed another dune.

"Oi! He ain't insane he's just got some quirks," Naruto shouted back.

"Ha! Naru, I've known that man FAR longer than you and he's off his rocker, always has been, always will be," Jakku chuckled back.

"How do you know him?" asked Sasuke.

"That nut job was the tanuki's first summoner and the only human to master Suijutsu," Jakku explained. At that the Konoha ninja each displayed varying degrees of surprise. Kakashi's visible eye widened before being quickly hidden by a mask of indifference, though you could see a burning curiosity in his eye, Sasuke's reaction was like Kakashi's but he kept his surprised look before he started to think. _'Could it be possible that this old man trained Naruto?'_ though the Uchiha.

Sakura's face gained a gob smacked expression, her jaw hanging slightly. "How old is this guy?" she shouted. From what Sakura knew, the tanuki summons had been first summoned during the time of the first great shinobi war during the time of the Shodai hokage. That was over a hundred years ago!

"Old Man Whiskey never really talked about his age," Naruto replied with a shrug, "All I know is that he was old when the Shodai was young," At this piece of news, Sakura's jaw actually hit the ground her eyes wide as dinner plates.

Before anymore questions could be asked Jakku leaped high into the air before crashing down in the middle of Suna. Surprising a large number of people. "We're here!" announced the gigantic Tanuki.

"Thanks for the lift Jakku, could you stick around until we're done?" asked the blonde.

"I could if you gave me some incentive," suggested Jakku. Chuckling Naruto gave the beast a barrel of the promised sake. With a giant grin, the tanuki grabbed the barrel and ripped the top off, taking a giant whiff of the elixir, Jakku gave a giant sigh. "Down the hatch!" he shouted happily, and with that, the summon took a giant gulp from the barrel. Immediately, his entire body seemed to shudder before he swayed back and forth. A small giggle escaped his lips before the boss summon hit the ground with a mighty thud.

Naruto laughed s little before he turned to his group. The blonde frowned at them, "Follow me," he ordered before walking towards the hospital. The shinobi followed him without question. Five minutes later found the group inside a hospital room where Kankuro was being checked over by frantic medics and his sister Temari along with an old lady in a black robe and skull cap. At the sound of people entering the room everyone turned to stare at them. When the old lady saw Kakashi though her eyes widened then narrowed.

"White Fang of Konoha! I will avenge my son!" she roared, and with that she leaped at the surprised Hatake. Kakashi quickly blocks the kick, causing the old lady to leap back. Before she could attack again Naruto stopped her by jumping in front of her, his hands in a placating manner.

"Chill, Chiyo-baasama, that's not the white fang of Konoha, he's dead remember?" Asked the blonde in a calming voice. "That's Kakashi Hatake _son_ of the White Fang," he explained.

Chiyo blinked before staring at Kakashi who just gave a small wave in return. Chiyo then burst into laughter, "Sorry about that, I was just playing the part of a senile old woman," she chuckled. Naruto laughed as well while the rest sweatdropped at the statement. "Now would you care to explain why you're here?" asked the elder to the shinobi.

"They're here to heal Kankuro," Naruto stated, sending a pointed look at Sakura. Sakura got the message and rushed to the other medics to help, "and help bring back Gaara," Naruto finished.

Chiyo nodded at that, "If you're going after them then I want to help," stated the old woman, surprising the group, "Besides, its been a while since I've seen my grandson," she said with a smile. With that, the rest waited for Sakura to finish healing Kankuro.

It took five hours until Kankuro's blood was purged of the poison, an impressive feat if the sweat on Sakura's brow and the look of awe on the medics' faces were anything to go by. "He's stable and should be waking up soon," she stated to her team and Naruto. A groan from the hospital bed caught everyone's attention. They watched as the boy sat up in his bed, his hand coming up to massage his face. "How long have I been out?" asked the boy.

Naruto appeared next to him with a reassuring grin. "About a day, but you should be fine thanks to Sakura-ama," he explained. Sakura's eyebrow twitched at the name Naruto called her but reined in her temper, the memory of him nearly crushing her ribs still fresh in her mind.

Kankuro nodded at that before his eyes widened in alarm, "What about Gaara?" he asked. Naruto looked down at that, "I didn't arrive in time to stop them and I couldn't leave you behind," explained the blonde sadly.

"What?" hissed Kankuro, "Why the hell did you stop to save me? You should have gone straight after Gaara!" Kankuro accused.

Naruto's head snapped up and he glared at Kankuro, "And what do you think Gaara would have said?" Naruto shot back, "If I'd have left you to die then Gaara would never have forgiven me and neither would I forgive myself!" he paused for a moment, "Besides I maybe strong but not even I can fight two S-rank ninjas at the same time by myself," he stated.

"Bullshit!" Kankuro shouted back, "Everyone knows that you were able to beat Tsunade, Jiraiya and Kakashi by yourself when you escaped Konoha!" stated the Suna puppeteer angrily.

That made Naruto pause in confusion for a second. "You think I got out of there without help?" asked the blonde before turning to stare at Kakashi, "You never told anyone?" the blonde asked his former sensei.

Kakashi sighed a bit at that, "Nobody was told," Kakashi explained, causing confusion to pass through the room.

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke demanded.

Naruto snorted before he decided to answer, "If you think I left without help that's a lie," stated the blonde. "I got help from the same person who gave me the tanuki contract and taught me," informed the boy.

"And who was that?" Sakura asked.

"Old man Whiskey of course," stated the blonde simply. Here, everybody had a look of surprise while Kakashi's was a look of both surprise and shame.

'_It's bad enough I got beat by an old drunk but by an ancient senile drunk?'_ mentally moaned the Hatake. Suddenly he shivered in fear as another thought struck him, _'I'm going to have to tell Jiraiya and Tsunade about this'_ thought the silver haired nin with growing dread.

"What exactly did happen that day?" asked Kankuro, anger forgotten and replaced by curiosity.

Naruto sighed, "Another time Kankuro, right now I need you to tell me which way those two headed along with any other information you have," ordered the blonde.

"Right," Kankuro nodded. With that, the young Suna shinobi told Naruto and the others about Sasori's scorpion tail and the poison coating it as well as telling them he saw them heading towards river country. "Wait, I think I have something else that could help you," Kankuro halted the group. "Do you have my puppets?"

Naruto nodded before pulling out a scroll and unsealing the disassembled puppets. Using his chakra strings, Kankuro opened Karasu's mouth, revealing part of an Akatsuki cloak. "Will this help you?" asked the boy.

Kakashi nodded while he took the piece of cloth, "Very much so, with this we can track those two easily. It's a good thing the desert doesn't have much rain; otherwise tracking them by scent would be useless. Good work Kankuro, you were able to turn your defeat into our advantage," praised the ninja. Kakashi then did some hand seals before biting his thumb and slamming it onto the ground with a cry of "Summoning Jutsu!"

In a poof of smoke a small pug with a Konoha headband and a blue vest appeared. "Whats up Kakashi?" asked the dog in a gruff voice.

"Pakkun, I need you to track this scent," Hatake stated while holding out the cloth. The pug sniffed at it for a bit before nodding. "Ok then, lets get moving," stated the pug as he leapt out of the window, closely followed by Team 7 and Chiyo. On the way they stopped to see a very interesting site.

Jakku, who was still under the influence of Naruto's special sake, was singing a song while surrounded by a group of inebriated Suna denizens, shinobi and civilian alike. As Jakku reached the chorus everyone sang out, "Na nana na, na nana na, hey, hey, hey! Goodbye!"

Naruto chuckled a bit while scratching his cheek nervously, "I think its best if we leave Jakku here," he stated. The others just sweatdropped as they moved on, while leaving they could hear the villagers starting to sing 'We Will Rock You' with the earth shaking every time Jakku stomped his feet. Naruto sighed as Chiyo gave him a small glare. "I'll pay for any collateral damage when we get back Chiyo-baasama,"

"You better boy, or this old lady's going to tan our hide old school style," she warned, her hand in the pimp slap ready position, one eye squinted and the other one glaring down at the now cowering Uzumaki.

"Whoa, chill out Baasama," Naruto said nervously, "No need to smack a bitch," he said trying to stop the old lady from entering 'pimp mode' "Everybody's cool here, right guys?" asked the blonde, a pleading look in his eyes as rings started to appear on Chiyo's hand along with a purple fur coat and a purple wide brimmed hat with a large red feather sticking out appeared on her head. Everyone began to panic while Sasuke was also confused.

"Naruto, whats going on?" Sasuke asked nervously, only to see that Naruto was running away along with Kakashi and Sakura, who had both experienced someone under the influence of pimp mode before. Before Sasuke could process what happened, Chiyo finally snapped.

"Pimp hand no jutsu!" she cried, and with that, she back handed Sasuke across the face with her ring hand, sending Sasuke flying into the sky before he disappeared, a shining star showing where he had been. As he sailed away, Chiyo could have sworn she heard him say, "I'm blasting off again!". Shrugging, the senile old woman just hummed a happy tune while racing after her fleeing companions.

**Several hours later, River country**

Naruto, Chiyo and team 7 minus Sasuke were racing through the forest before stopping in an occupied clearing. Kakashi's eyes widened in surprise when he saw the black cloak with red clouds and the swirling red and black eyes. Naruto growled and took a ready stance while Sakura and Chiyo looked surprised and a little nervous.

"If it ain't Itachi Uchiha," Naruto sneered at the clan murderer. Before the catalyst of the Uchiha massacre could respond, he got a puzzled look as he heard fast approaching screaming coming from the sky.

Looking up, Itachi's eyes widened in surprise as he saw his little brother come hurtling at him like some screaming rocket. Itachi said one word before Sasuke slammed into him. "Shit," muttered the Uchiha, and with that, the two Uchihas met in a glorious crash that sent up a dust cloud the size of Gamabunta. Once it cleared, it revealed Sasuke and Itachi inside a crater in a very compromising position, meaning, their legs were tangled together and they were lying on top of each other with their noses actually touching.

Naruto was laughing his ass off at the situation along with Chiyo, both leaning against each other while clutching their sides in painful mirth. Sakura was blushing profusely, equally mortified and aroused at the same time. (Fangirl and two people that look like Sasuke are in a position suggesting the horizontal mix, do the math) Kakashi just chuckled a bit.

When, Sasuke gained his bearings he took one look at his position with his older brother and screamed bloody murder "Hentai-kei!" (pervert older brother) with that Sasuke leapt out of the crater and hid behind Sakura, going into the fetal position muttering about never being clean again. This of course sent the drunk and old woman over the edge as they howled with laughter, tears coursing down their faces. Itachi was trying to keep his emotionless face up, but he kept twitching every two seconds with a haunted look in his sharingan eyes.

"Naruto-kun, I have come to collect your demon, give up now and you and your friends shall not be hurt," Itachi stated with a monotone, his features finally under control.

Narto wiped his eyes before staring at the Uchiha, "First things first, the only friend of mine here is Chiyo," stated the blonde. "Second," here a glint look entered his eyes as his grin turned feral, "I'd like to see you try Mr. Gay-incest,"

Itachi's eye twitched at that before turning into the Mangekyo Sharingan, "I'm going to make you regret those words," Itachi stated.

Naruto just smirked as he pulled out a bottle of sake, "Bring it," and with that, Itachi charged at a grinning Naruto.

**A/N: And finish! Ha! Cliffhanger no jutsu! Anyway I'm really sorry for the, well, atrocity that was the last chapter. I may rewrite it but no promises, besides all these flames for it really make me determined to improve my writing, so I'm actually glad you guys were so disappointed. It just shows me how interested you were in the story. Also, to the person who said this story is all wrong DON'T TELL ME HOW TO WRITE MY STORY! I can take flames but telling me what should and shouldn't happen is crossing the line! This is MY story and while I appreciate suggestions, I will not turn this into a story about Lee or Sasuke! Also, I haven't even revealed Naruto's skills so don't you tell him he's nowhere near Kakashi's level! The story has only gone on for four chapters and the only mention I've yet to reveal Naruto's full arsenal. Plus, you forget the Kage Bunshin trick! I'm not turning Naruto into all around ass kicker but with his chakra reserves and three years training under a teacher that taught him something other than to control Kyuubi's chakra, its not surprising if he's at at least low jounin level! Anyway sorry about the rants and please read and review, be they compliments or flames, write em up! BUT DON'T TELL M HOW TO WRITE MY STORY OR I"LL WRITE YOU INTO THE STORY AND HAVE KISAME SHOVE SAMAHEDA UP YOUR ASS!**


	5. Chapter 5

Drunken Shinobi

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Summons/Demon speaking"**

'_**Summons/Demon thinking'**_

**A/N: Ok everyone! Time to write some battle scenes! **

**Last chapter I think I was a little too… silly. Time to get serious with some ass kicking! Also, for those who have been wanting pairings… hehe… I've got something in mind and we'll see how it works ne? Anyway time to fight!**

As Itachi charged the Kyuubi jinchuuriki, Naruto responded by tossing the unopened bottle of sake straight at him. Surprised Itachi kept one sharingan eye focused on the bottle while the other focused on Naruto. However, Naruto just waved at the other nuke-nin. Itachi was confused until he heard the chirping of birds.

Itachi stopped his charge and leaped away, barely managing to dodge Kakashi's lightning encased hand. Doing some handseals while he was still in the air, Itachi put his fingers to his mouth in the shape of a ring before inhaling deeply; causing his chest to expand like a balloon had been inserted into his lungs. Exhaling, the Uchiha let forth a fireball of epic proportions, straight at Kakashi.

The fireball struck with a powerful explosion as Itachi landed, but before Itachi could do anything he was being assaulted by his little brother and forced to dodge the younger Uchiha's hungry blade.

Sasuke glared at his brother, sharingan blazing as his eyes burned with hatred as he tried to stab him through the chest. With satisfaction, he watched as the blade sank into his brother's chest. However, he was surprised when his brother merely burst into a flock of crows. _'Genjutsu!'_ thought Sasuke surprised. Growling, he made the release sign and broke the illusion just in time to see Itachi jump at him with a sword ready to go through his head. However the older Uchiha never made contact due to a chakra enhanced punch from Sakura burrowing itself into his face and sending him flying.

'_This is proving to be difficult, I think it's time I stop playing'_ he thought. He locked eyes with a charging Sakura and activated his Mangekyo Sharingan. Soon blood started to seep from his eye and Sakura burst into black flames. "Amaterasu," whispered the Uchiha emotionlessly as watched the black flames consume the screaming pink haired girl. However, his features quickly turned to surprise when the body was replaced with a log that slowly turned to ash while the fires continued to burn.

"Gotta love the log!" roared a familiar voice, "Drunken water style! Drowned in sake!" Itachi turned and saw Naruto release a veritable river of sake from his mouth.. The missing-nin didn't have time to pull of a substitution so instead he applied chakra to his feet and decided to wait it out. Its not like Naruto's jutsu was strong enough to hurt him too badly, right?

The river struck Itachi and only after it had struck did Itachi realize his mistake. The black haired man was ripped from his spot and soared through the air in the river of alcohol, the constant pressure filling his mouth and lungs with the substance and he noted that if it didn't drown him, he'd probably die of alcohol poisoning. Fortunately or unfortunately, Itachi was able to cancel the attack by releasing a small explosion of chakra, causing the attack to disperse and leave a trail of sake twenty yards long from the caster of the jutsu to Itachi.

"Is that the best you've got Naruto-kun?" asked the elder Uchiha impassively. Naruto just grinned.

"It's not over yet," he replied, "heres a gift your brother has wanted to give you for a while," as soon as he finished, Sasuke appeared with his sword drawn and touched the tip of the blade to the stream of liquid. "Chidori current!" Sasuke barked, and with that, lightning crackled down the length of the sword before jumping off and connecting to the alcohol and immediately electrocuted Itachi, who was soaked with the liquid and still standing on the trail of sake. However, the Itachi quickly vanished in a poof of smoke, revealing it to be nothing but a clone.

Naruto growled in fury while Sasuke scowled slightly. "Guys move!" roared the voice of Kakashi, surprised the two boys turned to see a giant fireball hurtling towards them. Sasuke immediately leapt away while Naruto just stared at ther fireball.

"Naruto! Move!" shouted Sasuke, but it was too late, the fireball hit the blonde and exploded, creating an inferno whenever it touched any of the alcohol that littered the area, and considering how much alcohol Naruto carries with him, everyone could only assume he had died.

The team regrouped a couple yards away from Itachi and stared at him with hate and fury. Itachi just stared at them with an impassive look, completely apathetic towards what he had done to the blonde drunkard.

"You bastard!" Sasuke snarled as he charged his brother once again, a chidori in one hand and his sword ready to descend on the older Uchiha's head. However, when Sasuke was a mere seven feet away Itachi just made a single hand sign and out of nowhere a shadow clone appeared in front of sasuke and exploded, sending Sasuke back to where he began. The younger one snarled and was about to charge again when he felt a hand on his shoulder, turning his head, he saw it was Sakura but the pink haired girl was staring intently at Itachi.

"Sasuke, there's something wrong with him," she stated. Sasuke arched a brow at that. "How so?" he questioned. Sakura gave him a very serious look, "He didn't attack until you were seven feet away, didn't avoid Naruto's attack or even retaliate after it ended, but left himself open, and his eye started to bleed after using that one attack," Sakura fininshed.

Sasuke puzzled over that info a bit before realization started to hit. "His eyes, they're," he whispered, not being able to comprehend what he was about to say.

"Failing," Kakashi said strongly, "The Mangekyo is powerful but everytime it's used, the user's eyes start to bleed and fail, to gain it comes at a cost and to use it, costs a doujutsu user there greatest weapon," he said calmly. Itachi just stared impassively, until a voice shattered the silence.

"Thanks for the info! I'll be sure to use it when the real bastard comes along!" roared a muffled voice. Surprised, everyone could only watch as not one, but five Naruto's burst from the earth. Four began to attack while the last one hung back.

One Naruto smashed a right hook into the side of his face and yelled, "ONE TEQUILA!" this caused the Uchiha to spin rather quickly before another one appeared, "TWO TEQUILA!" roared the blonde, delivering a hook fist to the opposite side of Itachi's face. The clan murderer spun even faster, though this time in the other direction, his vision nothing more than a blur and spots. He never saw the third Naruto approach. "THREE TEQUILA!" following this roar, Itachi was hit with a straight shot to the stomach that caused him to vomit up spit, bile and blood due to the spinning and force of the punch. As he was hunched over, a hand and blonde head emerged from the earth in front of his face and grabbed Itachi's throat. "**FLOOR!" **roared the clone and with that he plunged back into the ground, causing the raven-haired man to hit the earth face first with enough power to shatter his nose and knock a few teeth loose.

Groaning in pain Itachi rolled over and got back onto his feet stumbling badly from the pain and nausea he was feeling. "Its not done yet!" roared a familiar voice, the declaration laced with barbaric bloodlust. Itachi turned and the last thing he saw was Naruto, a feral grin on his face with his hand drawn back. On his hand was a spinning transparent rasengan with a gold tinge to it. What was odd was that the swirling mass of chakra was sitting on a ring formed by Naruto's index finger and thumb. "Sake Rasengan!" roared Naruto his bloodshot blue eyes shining with drunken rage.

The Konoha shinobi and Suna elder only stared in awe as the swirling mass of chakra connected with the nuke-nin. Then all they saw was a brilliant explosion of gold, followed by the scent of the beverage the attack was named after. When it cleared it revealed Naruto sitting cross legged his head bowed and his hands gripping his head while in front of him was a human sized crater complete with a human that was NOT Itachi. The rest of the group came forward for a closer inspection.

Once there they could hear Naruto groaning in pain while cursing heatedly under his breath. "Ugh… over did it again with the Suijutsu," Naruto grumbled under his breath while clutching his head. Medical skills kicking in, Sakura knelt by him, her hands glowing green and moving towards his head.

"Are you ok Naruto? What happened?" she asked immediately. Naruto just grunted before answering with one word. "Hangover," at their confused silence Naruto explained in as few words as possible, "Used too much Suijutsu, consequence is hangover, heal now," the group sweat dropped and Sakura sighed. She'd dealt with hangovers before, mostly because her sensei was drunk at least three times a week so she started to work on the blonde's ailment.

Meanwhile, Sasuke Kakashi and Chiyo decided to investigate the body. Chiyo's eyes narrowed as she recognized the body, "This is a member of the council from Suna. He was said to have died in Deidara's attack along with another council member," she said aloud.

"Well at least we know how those two got into Suna so easily, and it explains why Itachi wasn't as strong as usual," Sasuke said, "It also explains the reason he was going blind, he must have been using way too much chakra," finished the Uchiha.

"That's where you're wrong Sasuke," stated Kakashi, catching his attention. "The Mangekyo slowly destroys the user's eyes every time it is used until they reach a point where they are blind utterly and completely," Sasuke looked surprised at that.

"But what about Madara Uchiha?" Chiyo piped up curiously, "Its said that he activated the Magekyo and even unlocked something called the eternal Mangekyo, how did he escape the clutches of blindness and keep his eyes?" Sasuke also looked curious while Sakura listened in on the conversation.

Kakashi just shrugged in response, "Honestly, all I know is that it involved his brother who also had the Mangekyo," replied the man casually.

"Who cares?" said the voice of a certain blonde, "We need to get moving, five bucks says Gai's team got jumped like we did with the same results. Meaning they're already starting the process of extracting Gaara's demon," he replied while he reached for his hip flask. However Sakura snatched it away from him and smacked the back of his head.

"Baka! You just recovered from one of the most severe hangovers I've ever seen! You do not need any beer right now!" Sakura scolded him. Naruto just stared at her, his face blank and his eyes wide open with rage shining inside them. "In fact, you shouldn't be drinking this at all! It'll get you killed one day!" Sakura finished. Then she felt a sudden spike of KI that felt as potent as the Shinigami himself. Turning she saw Naruto, his eyes hidden in shadow while his face was blank but surrounding him was a purple aura of death.

"Give. Back. My. Whiskey." Naruto demanded slowly, the aura of death that surrounded him seeming to suck all the light and life from the world. Hell, Sasuke swore he saw several screaming souls writhing within it. Sakura just gulped in fear before handing the bottle back. Naruto snatched it from her hand with lightning speed and stalked off, muttering under his breath. The rest of the group had one though in their minds. Never take Naruto's alcohol. With that last thought, the group left to meet up with team Gai and hopefully, stop Gaara's demise.

**A day later**

It took another day for the rescue team to meet up with everyone and find the base. It was pretty much a cave blocked by a giant boulder with a single paper tag.

"Yosh! Now that we have found them, all that is left is to remove this boulder! If I cannot do it in one strike, I shall sprint all the way back home with a boulder on my back!" Lee shouted. With a cry the green clad boy leapt at the boulder only to be pulled back by Naruto.

"Lee, I like violence and the smashing of things as much as you do, maybe a bit more, but this isn't your regular kind of barrier," Naruto stated while walking up to observe the tag on the boulder.

"Then what kind of barrier is it Naruto?" asked Sasuke as he too came forward to look at the tag. From what he could tell it was a barrier tag of sorts but he didn't really know how it worked except that you needed a certain jutsu and chakra signature to open it.

"If I'm reading it right, there should be three other tags around here, three kilometers at the farthest," Naruto stated. "I'm no seal master so I could be wrong but we're not getting in without getting rid of those other tags," declared the blonde drunk. "Neji, use your bloodline, there should be a chakra connection back to this one,"

The Hyuuga nodded before wordlessly activating his family's ability. He focused on the tag and frowned when he realized he couldn't see inside of the place. However, he did see the chakra lines Naruto mentioned. "There are four lines," declared the boy, "One is far north, two kilometers away on a tree. Another is a couple meters away and on the side of the river. To the northwest there is one next to a waterfall about a kilometer away and the last one is south, three kilometers on a boulder in a clearing," finished with his report, Neji waited for a reply.

Naruto scratched his chin in thought for a second before shrugging. "Well the best idea I have is to send the fastest people we've got to go remove those tags. But we may have to remove them simultaneously otherwise this place may just explode for all I know," Naruto sighed at that, "This is going to be a bitch and a half," muttered the boy.

"Worry not my youthful friend!" declared Gai while digging into his weapons pouche, "I happen to have five mics with me for when my team needs to split up but we still need to keep in contact should one of us be caught in peril," explained the man with a smile.

"Perfect, so who's the fastest we got here? Gai and Lee are a given," Naruto stated.

"My entire team is probably the fastest in all the land!" Gai declared. "Though Lee was the only one to meet my level in weight training, both Tenten and Neji are fast enough to reach these targets in mere minutes!"

Kakashi nodded at that, "Its true if I know Gai," he supplied calmly, "I think it would be safe to say that Lee and Gai take the ones farthest away. Tenten takes the canyon and Meji the clearing," Kakashi stated while the mics were passed to the aforementioned shinobi. "Sakura, when Sasuke removes the seal, you break us in." finished the man.

They all nodded and launched from the canyon to do their separate jobs while Sasuke positioned himself to remove the seal, Sakura prepared to deliver a punch to destroy the boulder. Kakashi prepared himself to move in along with Naruto. Chiyo just stood in the back her face in a frown.

"I'm at my target," crackled Lee's voice into the ears of everyone wearing the mics. Soon, the rest of Team Gai reported that they had reached their targets.

"Got it, on my mark, rip the tags free," Sasuke commanded coolly, hand gripping a corner of the red tag in front of him.

"Ready," Sasuke's voice crackled as Tenten tensed on the side of the river wall, her teammates and sensei doing the same.

"Set," Sakura clenched her hands into a tight fist, chakra beginning to channel.

"NOW!" shouted the Uchiha while ripping the tag off while the others did the same to their tags. As soon as the tag on the boulder was free, Sasuke jumped out of the way while Sakura charged forward, right hand cocked back and chakra glowing around it while the left gripped her right shoulder.

"SHANNARO!" roared the pink haired girl as she let her fist fly forward. As soon as contact was made, the rock didn't crack and crumble, nor was it blown back. Instead, the boulder was literally obliterated from the force of the attack, reduced to nothing but pebbles and dust.

Without hesitation, Naruto dashed inside closely followed by the others who were waiting outside. They didn't run long before hey emerged in a very spacious caver, large enough to summon both Jakku and Gamabunta with some room left , this was lost upon on Naruto Uzumaki as he stared at the sight in front of him.

"Well it's about time," stated Deidara, a smug smirk on his face, his arms cross over his chest as he sat proudly on top of the body of one Gaara no Sabaku. Beside him, was the hunchbacked form of Sasori his face an uncaring mask.

"It is rude to keep people waiting," Sasori stated in a disdained voice.

"What do you think you're doing?" Naruto demanded quietly, his voice dangerously low.

Deidara just grunted, "What do you think I'm doing? I'm waiting for the next target to show up so we can extract his demon like we did with Sandy here," the blonde man responded while knocking a fist against Gaara's head.

"That's not what I meant," Naruto replied as he took a step forward his blue eyes completely focused on Deidara, boring into him with all the hatred and anger the whiskered boy could muster. "I want to know why you're sitting on my friend," he growled.

"Feh, why does it matter? He's just a corpse, not like he cares if I sit on him," responded Deidara snidely. Turning his head to the dead Kazekage Deidara slapped the corpse while yelling, "Hey! Do you mind if I sit on yo?" he slapped the corpse again, "Hello? Is anyone home?" he called mockingly, oblivious to the growing killing intent radiating off of the blonde drunk. Sasori on the other hand realized the danger.

"Deidara, that is enough," commanded the man.

Deidara snorted, "Aw come on. Its not like that brat can do anything," he replied. "Besides this guy doesn't seem to mind," he smiled cruelly as he made to rap Gaara's head again, but was stopped when a tanned and clawed hand grabbed his wrist.

The bomber had enough time to yelp before he was thrown into Sasori and flew through the air before landing in a crumpled heap. "You little bastard!" Deidara shouted at Naruto. The blonde ignored him and picked up the corpse of the Kazekage. Silently, he gave Gaara's body to Sakura and Chiyo.

"Make sure he stays safe," Naruto whispered. She just nodded and took the body carefully from Naruto's clawed hands, noticing that the blue eyes had become a piercing red and his whisker marks had become jagged and black, more like scars then a birthmark. She realized just how bad things were going to get and moved to a secluded corner of the cavern.

"Oi! Blondie I'm talking to you!" Deidara shouted getting angry. Naruto turned slowly, hair shadowing his eyes and face. "Stop ignoring me!" roared the explosives ninja. Deidara threw two hummingbird bombs at the blonde and watched in satisfaction asNaruto did nothing to stop them or dodge out of the way.

His satisfaction quickly turned to surprise when Naruto reached out with both hands andcaught the explosives in red chakra arms when the birds were halfway there, causing them to explode early and harmlessly. Slowly Naruto raised his head enough to glare with slit pupils and red irises at the bomber and puppetmaster.

"**Destroy them Naruto,"** Kyuubi ordered the boy, **"Avenge our fallen brothers,"**

With that command firmly placed in his mind, Naruto let loose a howl of primal fury and let loose and explosion of blue and red chakra. The chakra soon mixed together and turned black and orange then proceeded to create a dome around Naruto.

For a moment there was silence, nothing moved, nothing breathed, just a silence that only the deaf could feel comfortable in. Then, all hell broke loose.

The dome exploded and from the explosion emerged a beast unlike anything anyone had ever seen.

It's entire body was black but had a malicious orange cloak around it along with four tails that twisted and churned like dancing snakes. It was on all fours, front legs like clawed hands and the back legs like clawed feet, but what scared them the most was the face.

The face, was completely black with a jack-o-lantern grin and perfectly round eyes, both of them emitting an unholy white light. Extending from the sides of the head were two long rabbit like ears and spiky like hair equally as black as the rest of it's body.

Everyone stared in awe and horror at the monster when they finally realized just who it was. The only one to vocalize it was a terrified Sakura, "I-Is that N-Naruto?" she stuttered. The only response she got was an inhuman roar that shook the entire cavern and that's when everyone finally felt the pure uncontrollable hatred and blood lust that poured from the transformed shinobi, but none felt it worse than the only two people wearing black cloaks adorned with red clouds.

As Naruto leapt to attack, Sasori and Daidar thought one thing.

'_Shit'_

**A/N: And that's all for now! Ha, I love leaving cliffhangers, anyway reviews it and what not and suggest things you think might be good for the story, but there is no way I'm hooking Naruto up with anyone from Konoha, might not even hook him up with anyone… we'll see though won't we?**


	6. Chapter 6

Drunken Shinobi

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Summons/Demon speaking"**

'_**Summons/Demon thinking'**_

**A/N: Hey everyone! Danasca here with the next installment and as for pairings… I've thought of a VERY interesting person for Naruto. I'm not going to say who because, well, that ruins the story now doesn't it? Anyway, heres the next part!**

Deidara leapt back once more as the creature swiped at him again with its black claws that were coated in the corrosive chakra of the Nine Tailed Fox. The former Iwa shinobi had been barely dodging the swipes the transformed Naruto had been using to try and cleave the bomber in half. "Sasori! Do something to restrain this thing!" roared the effeminate blonde.

Sasori complied to the man's demand by sending out a volley of a thousand senbon from his mouth, all of them seeming to be coated in a vicious purplish liquid. The puppet master watched in satisfaction as the needles hurtled towards the demonic creature, however his eyes soon widened in surprise when they merely bounced off the creatures hide. Growling, the monster charged at the puppet user, intent on ripping the ninja apart.

With a roar, the demon cloaked Naruto smashed Sasori to bits, but instead of the sound of crushed bones or the squelch of blood, there was the loud crunch and snap of destroyed wood. This confused the Kyuubified Naruto long enough for a red-headed pale boy in an Akatsuki cloak with green eyes to leap out of the wreckage that was thought to be the original Sasori. "That was one of my favorite puppets," Sasori stated in an annoyed voice. Naruto didn't seem to care and charged straight for the man.

"**Senju Sobu!(Thousand Arms Manipulation)**" Sasori shouted while holding up a single hand towards the monster. Immediately, ove a thousand puppet arms burst from Sasori's arm and slammed into the charging demon, pinning him against the cave wall.

"Ha! Got ya now, demon. Now feel the power of my art, yeah!" Deidara shouted. With a flourish, the blonde man launched two basketball-sized lumps of clay from his hands that quickly took the shape of two swooping owls. As soon as the birds were practically on top of the demon, Deidara made a half tora hand seal. "KATSU!"

The birds exploded in a glorious explosion that shook the cavern and lit the place in an orange glow before filling it with smoke.

"Ha! Nothing beats my art!" Deidara crowed triumphantly. However, his celebrating was cut short when he was nearly mauled by a perfectly fine demon. The man had barely dodged in time and pushed the monster back with a couple low-grade explosives. Again, the beast was unfazed and tried to lunge at his prey again, but once more Sasori's puppet hands pushed him back. With a roar of frustration, Naruto smashed the arms to pieces and went to attack once more.

Meanwhile, Team 7 and Gai along with Chiyo were watching the fight with awe. Naruto had been strong without the Kyuubi, now, seeing him use it, they realized Naruto was very deserving of his S-rank status.

"Whoa… To believe Naruto-kun held back such a powerful creature since birth, truly his flame of Youth burns more intensely than my own!" Lee semi-yelled. Gai merely nodded in agreement.

"Is Naruto even in control right now?" Tenten asked, fearing that the possessed missing nin might just attack them for no reason. This caused everyone to jerk their heads up in alarm.

"Maybe… we should get out of the cave before these three destroy it," Neji stated calmly, despite his desire to run from the cavern and never look back.

"I think Naruto's in control… What do you think Chiyo-san?" Kakashi asked turning his head to regard the old woman only to see a smoke silhouette of her form. "Eh?" turning he saw Chiyo running from the cave, Gaara slung over one shoulder.

"TELL THE SHINIGAMI HE AIN'T GETTING ME YET!" yelled the woman as she fled out the front door. Kakashi sweatdropped and turned to the others with an eye smile. "Looks like that's settled ne? Eh?" when he opened his eye however, Kakashi was presented with a set of plushie versions of his group. Even Sasuke had left a plushie of himself and the masked ninja was a little disturbed by the Gai and Lee plushies. "Ok… if you can't beat em, join em," Kakashi said with a shrug. With that, the jounin left a plushie of himself and fled from the cavern.

The fight had escalated to the point where Sasori had unleashed his favorite puppet, the Third Kazekage's body turned into a human puppet. The puppet's iron sand ability had proven to work wonders in blocking the four-tailed monster but, that was it. The two knew they needed to run, and quickly if they wanted to survive this fight.

"Deidara! Prepare a bomb big enough to puncture through the roof! We need to escape and the resulting cave in might stop this monster long enough for us to escape!" Sasori shouted to his partner.

"Got it! This masterpiece is gonna take some time so buy me some!" Deidara shouted back. Sasori merely unrolled a scroll and quickly pumped chakra into it, unleashing a veritable army of human puppets.

"Lets see you get past the technique that helped me conquer an entire country," Sasori shouted as he sent his puppets straight at Naruto. The demon roared in defiance as he attempted to destroy the oncoming horde but soon he fell to their numbers and was quickly subdued under the sheer number of enemies. Looking up, Sasori saw that Deidara had completed his preparation for the explosives and was now just waiting on his word. "You put up quite the fight, Kyuubi jinchuuriki but I'm afraid we mu-," he was cut off however when he felt it. In horrified fascination, Sasori watched as his puppets were flung off the demon body of Naruto, revealing the creature about to swallow a small black ball of chakra.

With horrified eyes, the puppet master watched the fox devour the ball and for a moment, the beast's form shook with power and the eyes glowed even brighter, then the demon opened his mouth, and the last thing Sasori saw was a brilliant white light… and the utter destruction of his puppets.

In that moment, Sasori saw what Deidara did when it came to the art of destruction.

For an instant, that image was frozen."Beautiful," breathed the puppet master, and the next instant, he was consumed by the attack.

Outside, the other shinobi were wondering what was happening in the cave when an explosion of monumental explosions and a white ray of light burst from the top of what WAS the cave's roof. After a moment to get over their shock, the group dashed over to see what in the nine hells had just happened.

When they got there they saw Naruto, standing in nothing but a pair of tattered shorts, blood leaking from his mouth and his skin seemed to be regenerating over his bloody form.

"Damn that hurt," muttered Naruto as he sank to his knees before catching himself with his hands. For a moment, the blonde just remained in that position until he heard the strangest thing. Looking up he saw that maniac Deidara was laughing like a madman, despite the fact his right arm had been incinerated in the blast along with most of his hair.

"That was the most beautiful piece of art I've ever seen!" shouted the blonde as he laughed like a madman. "The wall shaking from the force, the light of the beam illuminating the darkness of the cavern and the light that came from the sun when the roof exploded! GLORIOUS!" crowed the man. Laughing still the man made a giant clay pigeon and hopped on it. "In honor of your glorious art, I will not kill you, Kyuubi Jinchuu-" that was as far as he got before he screamed in pain.

Naruto, with the last bit of his strength had thrown a large buzzsaw from on of the puppets at the bomber and used it to cut off the bomber's only remaining arm. "Shut the hell up and die you fucking psychopath!" Naruto roared as he stood on shaky feet and started stumbling towards Deidara.

Needless to say, this unnerved the former Iwa ninja enough to take flight, quite literally in this case. With a snarl, he leapt on his clay bird and flew off screaming curses at our blonde hero. Naruto for his part just snorted and started stumbling towards something.

Curious, the team watched Naruto start shifting through the dirt, intent on finding something it seemed. For a moment, the group just watched the blonde dig before heading towards him.

As they got closer, they were surprised to hear the man talking to himself. "Come on come on come on…" he muttered under his breath. "There's gotta be something! I can still feel it," he growled.

"Uh, Naruto?" Sasuke asked as he went a little closer to the blonde. "What are you digging around for?"

Naruto didn't even turn his head as he replied, "My hip flask," everyone sweatdropped at that. Seriously? The thing was probably destroyed like the majority of his clothes and supplies. "And a momento," this caused the others to stare at him in surprise.

"Momento? You mean like, a souvenir?" asked Sakura.

Naruto just gave a curt nod before going back to digging. However, Sakura was curious and she wanted some answers, "Why would you want a momento Naruto? You've never collected them before," Sakura stated.

"Aha!" Naruto shouted in triumph, apparently oblivious to Sakura's words. Standing up he held a familiar silver flask at arms length before quickly hugging it to his chest, "I'm so sorry I left you in that cold, cold ground! Daddy would never hurt his baby on purpose, never, never ever!" he cooed to the flask. Everybody watched with sweatdrops as the man then proceeded to take a gigantic swig of whatever was left inside the container. "Ahhh…" he sighed before bringing it back up to his cheek and nuzzling the thing.

Sakura had several tic marks on her head at being ignored but decided to be civil. "Naruto… could you kindly answer my question?"

The blonde stared at her, distrust, anger and a small bit of hatred evident in his eyes. "And why would I tell you? Why would you care if I collected stuff?" he asked cautiously, his apparent exhaustion gone after drinking from his flask.

Sakura now desperately wanted to hit the blonde but after seeing him take out not one, but TWO S-rank missing ninja, she knew better than to fall back onto old habits. "Because despite what you may think, we care about you," she answered firmly. "Besides, you've never collected trophies before, at least as far as I know you haven't," Sakura stated.

Naruto snorted in response to this. "Once again you prove how little you actually know about me, yet you still claim to call yourself my friend," he stated before something caught his eye, or rather, TWO some things caught his eye. Completely ignoring the others the blonde strode over to the objects of his interest and gave a rather large grin. "Perfect!" Naruto exclaimed. Curious, the others came over to see what he had picked up, and they were both intrigued, and disgusted at what they saw.

The thing that disgusted them was that Naruto had grabbed one of Deidara's severed arms and, judging by his grin, Naruto had found his record of battle.

"Naruto!" Sakura shouted, "That's disgusting!"

The blonde looked at her in surprise before saying, "What are you talking about?"

"What do you mean 'what is she talking about?" Sasuke shot back, his face a bit pale, "You're taking a severed limb as a spoil of war!" he shouted out.

Naruto just raised an eyebrow before snorting at them. Grabbing the arm by the wrist, Naruto grabbed the ring that was on the right index finger and removed it, a Cheshire grin on his features as he also scooped some of the clay out of the mounth on the palm of the hand.

"Perfect, now for that Sasori guy," Naruto spoke to himself, dropping the arm. However, in the blink of an eye, a swor stabbed straight through Naruto's stomach..

"Naruto!" Kakashi shouted in surprise quickly rushing over along with the others to see what happened.

Naruto meanwhile had a puzzled look on his face. "How the fuck are you still alive?" he questioned, his blue eyes staring down into the face of Sasori's own emotionless one. When the others saw it, many of them had looks of shock on their faces. Chiyo was not that surprised.

"I should have guessed," muttered the old woman as she stared at the remains of Sasori. All that was left of the body was the right arm and most of the right torso along with the head. However, located right where the heart should be was some sort of strange cylinder with the red kanji for 'core' on it. "So you turned your own body into a puppet eh?" she accused lightly, setting the body of the Kazekage down as she sat next to the now revealed human puppet.

Sasori merely moved his green eyes to stare at her. "Are you surprised Obaa-san?" he asked.

Chiyo simply sighed. "I had already guessed when I saw you but I was hoping you hadn't." she said in a mildly depressed voice.

Sasori merely shrugged. "I did it to become art. To become something that would last long after the creator, through generations upon generations and be seen as something marvelous," he replied simply.

"As great as that is, mind taking your sword out of my gut?"" Naruto asked. Sasori just stared at him, a flicker of surprise in his eyes.

"How are you still alive? The poison should have killed you," Sasori asked.

Frowning, the blonde missing ninja snapped the blade before yanking it out of him. As soon as the weapon had left, red chakra immediately closed the wound with a slight hiss. "Ah," Sasori said in understanding while everyone had gobsmacked looks on their faces. "The Kyuubi made you immune to my poison and heals your wounds," Sasori said to himself, not caring that the others heard him. "We really never had a chance capturing you," he said aloud.

"Basically, now you mind telling me how you're alive? You should be obliterated along with all your other dolls," Naruto stated, gesturing to the decimated hideout.

Sasori seemed to smirk slighty at that. "Like I said, I want to become my art and that means living for generations, but seeing as that is an impossibility I have a reward and a request," Sasori stated seriously.

The blonde blinked at that. "Why would you reward me? I understand a dying man's… puppet's…. last wish but a reward?" he asked.

Sasori simply looked into the sky as he spoke, "You beat me, not just me but Deidara as well and that deserves something," he said. Turning his head he looked straight at Naruto, "In three days time, I was to meet one of my spies at Tenchi Bridge in Grass country. The reason I tell you this is because he has been spieing on a… mutual enemy,"

"Who?"

"Orochimaru," Sasori stated, immediately causing everyone to tense up, some more visibly than others. "As for my request," here he trailed off. Bringing his only hand up to the cylinder on his chest, he channeled chakra to it. In a poof of smoke, several scrolls appeared. All of them a sand color with a red scorpion in a diamond stamped onto them. "Here he stared at Naruto with the uttermost seriousness and said in a level tone, "I want my techniques to be passed on,"

Everyone was once again shocked, Naruto more so than the others. "Um.. that's flattering and all but, I couldn't use puppets to save my life," Naruto stated.

Sasori continued on unaffected, "Then find someone who will use them, I may die but I will not let my art be lost. I want people to see these techniques, to LEARN these techniques and forever remember me, Sasori of the Red Sand," he stated.

Naruto and Chiyo became somber as they heard this while the Konoha ninja watched on in subdued curiosity. For a time, there was only silence, then. "I'll make sure someone gets these, but I have one final question," Naruto spoke quietly.

Sasori blinked. "What is it?"

The drunken ninja clenched his hands into fists as he asked, "Did you extract the Ichibi?"

Silence… then… "Yes, the Ichibi is sealed and Gaara Kazekage is dead," he said monotonously.

Slowly, Naruto unclenched his righ hand and picked up the puppetry scrolls, wordlessly handing them to Chiyo. With that same hand, Naruto picked up the remains of Sasori by his neck and walked several feet until they were in the middle of the battlefield.

For a moment he just stood there and Sasori wondered what he planned to do but he was answered very quickly. With a roar of anguish and raw hatred, Naruto Uzumaki slammed the puppet master into the ground, releasing him as he drew one hand back, a Rasengan forming in his hand. The orb of chakra grew bigger, though, as the blonde poured every last bit of his power into the attack. Soon, the ball of swirling chakra became the size of a basketball, before doubling in size.

As Sasori watched from his position on the ground, he could not help but stare in awe of the scene before him. The hand raised above his head with a ball of energy that looked like the sun, the picture of wrath and grief so perfectly framed on that whiskered face while the very air seemed to swirl around him and even the golden hair that looked a mix between an angelic halo and devilish horns, Sasori could not help but once again utter…

"Beautiful,"

Then, the orb came down, and a shockwave of epic proportions ripped through the earth. Everyone present shielded their eyes from the dirt and debris that flew through the air from the attack as a single voice screamed into the blue sky.

"DAMN YOU AKATSUKI!"

**A/N: SHAZAM! Ha! Well I'm sorry I've been gone so long but, well, school got hectic… family problems… Website not letting me update… Yeah I'm just glad I can add this now. Anyway, sorry if this is too short for your tastes but I feel this is a good end to the chapter. Anyway, Read and Review!**

**Ja Ne!**


	7. Chapter 7

Drunken Shinobi

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Summons/Demon speaking"**

'_**Summons/Demon thinking'**_

**A/N: Hello all! I'm back and in this chapter, we're gonna be moving things along!... Hopefully… Mostly it's a conclusion to Kazekage arc and start introductory to the next arc… On the plus side I'm going to introduce- OOOF! (a strange old man appears standing on top of the author)**

**?: Don't you dare give away any of the story in the AN! That's a rookie move! NOW LETS CONTINUE THIS STORY! YOSH! THE NEXT CHAPTER OF LAUGHTER OF THE BROKEN BEGINS NOW!**

…

**Me: This is Drunken Shinobi… **

**?: Eh? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY STRAWBERRY PATCH!**

**Me: Riight… Anyway, I Don't own anything an – WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?**

**?: BUG KILLING STYLE! BIG BOOT JUTSU!**

**Me: I'm NOT A BUG! HEEEELP!**

Silent, mournful, and above all, tense. These words, and many more could be used to describe the atmosphere of one particular group of shinobi.

It had been several hours since Sakura had announced Gaara officially dead and after Naruto's outburst, they had begun traveling back to Suna with Naruto carrying the Fifth Kazekage's body. He wouldn't let anyone else touch Gaara's body. They had been traveling in ninja fashion ever since then, Kakashi and his team along with Chiyo were up in front while Gai and his team followed right behind them. Following a few feet behind was Naruto Uzumaki, his best friend slung over his shoulder. The nuke nin refused to have anyone else carry the Kazekage, hell, he refused to have anyone get close to him, not even Chiyo. "Stop," Kakashi called out, landing in a clearing with the others soon following.

"Whats wrong?" Sasuke asked, already on alert.

The masked ninja merely shook his head. "We've been traveling for hours and the sun will be going down soon," Kakashi said, pointing towards the horizon where the great ball of fire was slowly falling. "This is as good as anyplace to set up camp,"

The others nodded in agreement and started setting up except for Naruto who began walking forward again, Gaara still over his shoulder. "Naruto, where are you going?" asked Sakura. The blonde man glanced at her before walking again. "Oi! Naruto what do you think you're doing!" Sakura yelled, finally fed up with the silent treatment. At this point the others had stopped and come to see what the ruckus was about.

Naruto whirled around and glared at her, "I'm not stopping till Gaara is back where he belongs, and that's Suna where a big grave and giant funeral ceremony will be held for him, whether Suna wants to give it to him or not!" he spat.

"Naruto, you are in no shape to travel for days straight while carrying a corpse," Neji spoke calmly. "Even with the Kyuubi, you have used up a lot of strength, you need to rest,"

Naruto snorted at that, "I'm fine! The fox has damn near limitless chakra and those bastards couldn't even touch me when I was in four-tailed state!" Naruto barked back. "I still have enough energy left to get Gaara back! That's what I promised to do and no one, not even hell itself is going to stop me!" Naruto declared loudly. Naruto once more turned to leave but found his way blocked by Kakashi. Grunting, the blonde tried to go around but found that his way was once again blocked, this time by Sasuke and Sakura. Naruto growled and turned around but found himself surrounded, by the Konoha ninja and even Chiyo.

"Get the hell out of my way!" Naruto shouted in annoyance

"No," Sasuke spoke coolly. Naruto growled at him but before he could move he sensed growing tension. With a quick look at the people surrounding him, he saw that everyone had slid into some sort of battle stance. "You need rest Naruto, whether you want to or not. If you try and leave we'll drag you back here in chains,"

"Like you could!" Naruto scoffed, "I've already kicked your ass Sasuke, I can do it again!"

"True, but can you beat all of us?" Kakashi asked. Naruto growled at the people around him but finally just huffed and gently set Gaara's body down and sat down with his head bowed, refusing to look at any of the others. Kakashi merely nodded and gestured for the others to continue setting up camp while he and Chiyo stayed behind to watch Naruto.

Naruto, not wanting to be within spitting distance of either person, picked up Gara's body and moved a couple feet away before setting the body down again and sitting down once more. Kakashi sighed sadly at the sight and couldn't help the feeling of shame that came over him.

"Trouble, Hatake?" Chiyo asked smoothly.

"I suppose," the Konoha nin responded while pulling out a familiar book and opening it. Feeling that Chiyo wanted more than that, Kakashi began to speak, "I should have treated him better," he said.

Chiyo nodded, "If anything Naruto has told us about you is true, then you should have," seeing the scarecrow's surprised look Chiyo merely chuckled, "He has a tendency to rant about the bastards in Konoha whenever he's had a particularly strong or vast amount to drink," she answered. Kakashi merely nodded sadly in acceptance. Seeing this Chiyo continued to speak, "Although, not all of his words about Konoha are negative, it just depends on which drunken Naruto you get, and by that I mean whenever he gets drunk he is A) angry, B) depressed or C) goofy," she answered.

Kakashi was silent until Chiyo asked something he didn't expect, "So what do you plan to do with him?"

Kakashi blinked in confusion before realization dawned on him. What were they going to do with Naruto? The silver haired ninja sighed, "Honestly, I plan on letting him go," Kakashi answered, surprising Chiyo. Before she could ask Kakashi spoke again, "Tell me, what's Naruto's dream since he's left the village?" he asked.

Chiyo looked taken aback for a moment before a frown settled on her face. "I… don't recall Naruto ever talking about his dreams, nor any goals. All he does is appear every couple of months, stay for a spell then leave," she responded.

"Does he do anything else?" asked Kakashi.

"He drinks," Chiyo responded almost automatically, "but he also brings us information," the woman furrowed a brow as she thought some more before she smiled softly and looked over to the boy, "he also keeps Gaara company, comes to visit me and my brother, listens to Temari talk about Shikamaru and he plays pranks with Kankuro and…" here she started talking about what Naruto did when he visited Suna. How he helped anyone in the village who needed help, how he played with the kids, how, no matter what, he found a way to make everyone in Suna smile. "That boy has done more for Suna than he knows," Chiyo finally finished with a chuckle before it turned sad, "It's a shame that a lot of it is an act,"

Kakashi looked at her quizzically and Chiyo gave him a disapproving look in return, "That boy has been hiding the pain of your betrayal for three years," she said coldly, "As I've said, Naruto tends to rant when he's drunk, but he never remembers a thing, I, on the other hand do and lets just say I'm surprised the son of the Yondaime would be treated so badly,"

Kakashi's eye widened to near comical proportions at that, "Naruto knows who his father his?" he asked in a whisper.

Chiyo just gave a huff of annoyance, "Yes but I think that little tidbit of information has been repressed by the boy because when I asked him, he truly believed that they were killed during the Kyuubi attack or they abandoned him," she snapped. "He apparently found out during some scroll incident, but the events that night and the apparent revelation coupled with his harsh life caused him to repress it," Chiyo spoke coldly and she did not miss Kakashi's head dropping in shame.

There was silence, for a long while, neither elder ninja said anything to each other until Kakashi spoke, "Why is it that Naruto can never hold onto those precious to him?" Kakashi asked rhetorically, "The village he swore to protect, rejected him. Same as the girl he loved. His greatest dream, torn from him and those he called family, betrayed him," Kakashi cast a forlorn look towards Naruto's hunched form, "Now, he loses his best friend" Kakashi stared a bit before lowering his head in shame, "I wish… I truly wish I could give him back at least one of those things," he murmured.

Chiyo, who had not understood what inspired this rant, looked down, her brow furrowed in deep concentration. "You know Kakashi, our villages owe those two a lot," she finally said, slowly standing. "They've done a lot for us, despite how we treated them and they did it without a lot of reward," she continued now standing with Kakashi slowly rising as well, his curious eyes never leaving the aged woman's face, "I think… I think it's about time we rewarded them," she finished, walking towards Naruto, Kakashi trailing behind her in confusion.

Naruto looked up as he felt the presence of Chiyo and Kakashi approach him. Growling, the drunken shinobi stood and was about to drive them off when Chiyo spoke, "Naruto-kun, please listen to this foolish old woman,"

Blinking in confusion, Naruto merely nodded at her. "Naruto, you know that I was the one to seal the Ichibi into Gaara, correct?" she asked. She got a nod in response, "Do you know why?" she asked.

That caused Naruto to hesitate in his response. He knew that the Ichibi had originally been sealed inside of a teapot, and then during one of the wars, was sealed inside of an insane priest. He also knew that the priest's soul had somehow merged with Shukaku and was sealed once more. He had never actually figured out why they sealed it in Gaara though, there was no real reason, at least, no real reason to him. He shook his head no.

"I did it because I thought it would help my village, as did Gaara's father, the Kazekage before Gaara," she said calmly, "Suna is said to be the weakest of the five great villages, and as such, we got less business than the other nations. So, we decided we needed a weapon, something that would make Suna more powerful, and that something, was Gaara," Naruto's eyes widened before they narrowed in fury at the old lady. He did not speak however, for what could he say?

Chiyo continued, "That proved to be a mistake, for instead of a loyal weapon, I created a monster," she sighed as she kneeled down next to Gaara, ignoring Naruto's glare. "They say with age comes wisdom, experience, even knowledge. If this is true then I should have known to never seal the Ichibi into Gaara," she chuckled humorlessly, "Suna lost a lot ever since then, we lost money, clients, people were dieing but worst of all we lost our pride and honor by joining a snake like Orochimaru and betraying the alliance we held with the leaf," she seemed sad before a slow smile crossed her face, "But thanks to you, we became strong,"

Naruto was taken aback by that, his anger completely gone and replaced by surprise, "Wh-what do you mean by that?" he asked confused.

Chiyo chuckled, "You gave us Gaara, a leader like no other, one who can bend the very desert to his will, you gave us a leader that truly loves his people, despite everything we did to him because you showed him the virtues of mercy and empathy," Chiyo said as her hands began to glow green. The elder then placed her hands over the dead Kazekage's heart. "Whats more is you kept us informed about the goings on both in and out of our village," Naruto watched as Chiyo seemed to get more tired as her chakra poured into the body of the late one-tailed jinchuuriki. "That helped us more than you think and what's more, you introduced us to some very helpful nations like Wave, Snow and even the Fuma clan," she looked up at Naruto, her eyes seemed to be dulled slightly, "Did you know that they're actually considering moving their entire clan into the village?" she asked. Naruto shook his head no, wonder on his face. "Apparently, a girl by the name of Sasame convinced her clan to move there, something about returning the debt they owed to a certain blonde," Chiyo whispered.

Naruto, for the most part was stunned before he asked, "Chiyo-obaasama, what are you doing to Gaara?" he gestured toward the redhead for emphasis.

Chiyo smiled and started panting slightly, "I'm reviving him with a ninjutsu that could bring even a puppet to life," she replied, surprising both Kakashi and Naruto greatly.

"How? Such a jutsu would require someone's life…" Kakashi began but trailed off as he realized what she was doing.

Naruto was almost speechless but he somehow found his voice, "You're giving up your life in exchange for Gaara's?" he asked, not daring to believe his own words.

"Kakashi give me a hand here, you should be a part of this," Chiyo ordered the Konoha jounin. He complied without much hesitation and started pumping his chakra into Chiyo's technique. "Naruto, you and Gaara have done a lot for us, and all of it without reward," Chiyo answered Naruto, her eyes locking with his and a serene smile on her face, "Besides, you two need to grow old like me!" Chiyo coughed, "There's still a lot left for you to do in this world, still a lot of mistakes we old folk have made that need correcting and that's what you two are needed for!" she finished with a grin towards a speechless Naruto.

**Unknown location**

"Where… Where am I?" asked the voice of Gaara. The red head looked at his surroundings, seeing nothing but an endless expanse of white. It was barren, completely void of life and sound, except for that of his voice.

The man frowned as he looked at his hand, confused as how he was there. "How? I remember that man, then some ritual and then," he trailed off here. Pain, unexplainable pain, that was the last thing he remembered, everything after that was a blank.

"Did… Did I die?" he asked as he brought his hand up to stare at it. He clenched it, feeling the muscles tighten and his fingers dig into his palm. He frowned, if he was truly dead, then why did he still feel? Shouldn't he just be… gone?

Gaara had believed that in order to prove his existence, he had to extinguish the existence of others. He never once considered what happened after he crushed his opponents. The man simply thought they just vanished, their life extinguished, thus their existence was likewise. Yet if that was true, how was he still able to feel, still able to see and still able to speak? How was it he still existed?

At that point Gaara began to hear something. It was soft and distant, like the echo from far away. He frowned, it was a voice, one he recognized. Yet he could not place it, the voice was so familiar and the name at the tip of his tongue but for the life of him he just couldn't say the name!

"Gaara! You better wake up or else damnit!" the voice called, this time a little more clearly. With the voice came flashes of memory for the red head.

Expressive blue eyes surrounded by slightly pink sclera.

Wild blonde hair, spiking in every which way.

A headband with the image of a spiraling leaf on it, marred by a single horizontal slash.

Gaara clutched his head as he tried to fit the images together. Slowly, ever so slowly, the image of a person came into view. It had the hair, the eyes and the headband but no mouth, body, or any other feature to it.

"Get up or so help me I'll burn your body in sake!" the voice called again. This time it came with more the actual figure of the person.

It was a male, nearly six feet tall with an athletic build and tanned skin, but what really floored Gaara was the six whisker marks, three on each cheek.

He knew this person, he was close to this person, like a brother!

With that thought other people started appearing next to the man. One was clad in a completely black suit with a cowl that had cat like ears. He also had on purple face paint and three scrolls strapped to his back.

Next there was another blonde, except this one was female, with four pigtails and had a different headband. One with an hourglass figure etched into it. She was wearing a black kimono of sorts, but this one seemed more suited to battle and strapped to her back was a long metal object that Gaara somehow knew was a fan.

These three people… who were they? What were they to him, a demon and murderer?

The voice continued to shout at him, telling him to get up. With every shout more and more memories flashed through his head but no real name. That was until he remembered a specific one.

_Gaara gave a content sigh as he set his newly acquired hat upon his new desk. The hat had three points to it and the kanji for wind on the front. It was the hat of his father, the hat of the Kazekage. Now, it was his and he took up that same mantle._

"_Didn't expect you to actually take the position,"_ _called a voice behind him. The redhead turned to see his best friend and surrogate brother, Naruto Uzumaki, recent missing ninja of Konoha._

_Gaara gave the slightest of shrugs, "They need a leader," he replied simply._

_Naruto snorted at that. "After everything you guys have done to each other? I'd tell them to shove it," the blonde stated venomously._

_Garra stared at him, "And how does that solve anything? You had the chance to kill me once, but instead, you cried for me and called me friend," he stated._

_Naruto narrowed his eyes, "We're the same people Gaara, both of us are treated like crap by our villages and have a burden we never wanted," he said coldly._

_Gaara folded his arms at that and for a long time just stared at the man, "You are jealous," he finally said._

_Naruto blinked at that and frowned, "Why the hell would I be jealous? So what, you're the kage for an entire village that doesn't care about you except for you family and Matsuri, yeah, I'm sooo jealous," Naruto bit back._

_The sand manipulator smirked slightly, "I'm living your dream, and you're jealous," he replied._

_Naruto glared at him and for a moment Gaara wondered if he had angered his only true friend. Then, the Uzumaki slowly began to smile, a small, melancholy smile._

"_I guess I am, but can you blame me?" he asked with a chuckle._

_Gaara merely stood still, not sure what to do._

"_Honestly though, why should I care?" he chuckled, his smile suddenly widening into a foxy grin. "I'm getting trained by a guy who took out Baa-chan, Ero-sennin and Kakashi-sensei all at once!" he exclaimed. "Besides, even if I can't live my dream, at least I know you can," Naruto said._

_Gaara remained silent, then, "So you are happy that your dream is no longer achievable?" he asked in a slightly confused tone._

_Naruto laughed, "My dream isn't dead," he spoke, "So long as you're kage, my dream is alive and kicking!" Naruto declared, "Because I'm going to help you every step of the way, because if I can't be Hokage, then I'm gonna make sure my friend is the best damn Kazekage of all time!" _

_Gaara was taken aback by the sheer determination and conviction with which Naruto spoke and portrayed. He looked into those shining blue eyes and then did something that he would do a lot more of in the future._

_For the first time in his entire life, Gaara smiled, an actual honest to god, smile!_

"_Fine then Uzumaki, it's a promise," he said extending his hand, which was eagerly clasped with a grinning Naruto's_

The red head blinked before his eyes grew hard. He promised, he'd live Naruto's dream for him and in return, Naruto would help him.

"Wake up! For the love of Kami, wake up!" shouted the voice again. This time, Gaara obliged.

**In the real world**

Slowly, ever so slowly, Gaara began to open his eyes. "Finally! You are the heaviest sleeper I've ever met, dattebayo!" declared a voice. Gaara opened his eyes fully and came face to face with Naruto.

"Naruto?" he asked while sitting up then seeing the others behind his friend, "You all came to save me?" he asked in confusion.

Kakashi chuckled, "Not just us," here he pointed to the side and Gaara was met with an amazing sight.

"He's alive!" declared a Sand ninja. An entire crowd of Suna shinobi who had come all burst into cheers and rushed forward to see their leader. Gaara could only look around in bewilderment as his subjects all greeted him and told him how happy they were that he was alive. The red head could only look around in amazement and as he did, he saw the crumpled form of Chiyo, cradled in a grinning Naruto's arms. Seeing this, he started walking towards the blonde man. When he stopped, all eyes were on the red head and drunken ninja.

"What happened to her?" Gaara asked.

Naruto bowed his head, "She sacrificed her life to bring you back," he muttered under his breath, but his friend heard him nonetheless.

He stared at the woman's body. Strange, she had sacrificed a life to seal the demon inside of him, he was then captured and lost his life so the demon could be sealed away forever. That's how a jinchuuriki's life usually went, but the catalyst for all his pain, the person who caused all his suffering, whether intentionally or not, gave up her life so he could live.

"We will hold a grand funeral for Chiyo-baasama," he spoke to the crowd, "The entire village as well as our allies here will join in," he turned and began walking, "We will honor her memory and sacrifice and we will celebrate all of her deeds,"

Naruto spoke up, "Does this mean a party?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Gaara turned so one black rimmed green eye could look at the blonde. For a moment, he just stared at his friend before a smile slowly crept over his face.

"Yes, it means there will be a party, so summon the tanuki,"

The boy grinned before jogging after his friend, careful to make sure Chiyo's body didn't fall from his arms.

Before the two leapt off towards Suna Naruto smiled and said, "You know, I owe Chiyo a lot more than anyone else,"

"How so?" Gaara asked.

The blonde grinned, "Because if she had never made those mistakes, I wouldn't have you for a brother or a friend," he spoke. Gaara smirked slightly and many who attended that funeral and saw the old woman's body, they'd all agree on the same thing.

She died with a content smile on her face.

**Suna. Three days after Chiyo's funeral**

The sound of hammers and the shout of workers could be heard all through out the village hidden in the sand along with that the sounds of laughing and small celebration could be heard. After Elder Chiyo's funeral many immediately went straight to work at repairing damages and fortifying the village, but on the second day, the people began a festival celebrating the return of their Kazekage.

Stalls selling all sorts of goodies and trinkets lined the streets, as did booths with all sorts of games that many a child and couple flocked to. It was at one of these stalls that we find two Konoha shinobi playing a festival favorite.

The game was rather simple, take a ball and knock down a stack of bottles. The tosser was given three balls and there were three stacks of bottles. To many a person it's somewhat challenging but to Tenten of Konoha, weapons specialist extraordinaire, it was a fairly simple task. However her friend and teammate Rock Lee had challenged her to do it while wearing an eye patch, one arm behind her back and while jumping on one foot.

With the sound of breaking clay, a rubber ball smashed through the last stack.

"Ha! I win!" cheered the bun haired girl as she hobbled around victoriously.

"Amazing! That was most youthful Ten-chan!" Lee cheered next to her before grabbing the large stuffed panda that she had won.

After Tenten had untied herself, the weapons girl grinned as she hugged the oversized plushie and carried it under one arm. The two walked along in comfortable silence, each enjoying the warm and happy atmosphere of the festival. However a strange sound met their ears, one they recognized but never dared to hear again.

"Is that…?" Lee asked in bewilderment. He turned his head to the left, following the sound of that noise he never dared believe he would hear again. Tenten followed his example and they both saw what would be a fairly normal thing but to these two, it was like finding a pile of gold in the middle of a rubbish heap.

What they stared at was a tavern, but not a regular tavern. This one had a large shaded porch with many patrons sitting at tables drinking and laughing the day away. It was one of these patrons that caught the eyes of our two Konoha shinobi though.

There was Naruto Uzumaki, laughing hard and loud along with the other drinkers, having a grand time. When it lulled, they saw Naruto's mouth move, a look of mischief in his eyes as the others leaned in to hear the punch line of the joke he was weaving. Making some more than likely lewd gesture, the red-faced patrons burst into laughter, Naruto following right behind them, a foxy grin on his flushed face.

"He's… laughing?" Tenten asked bewildered, "Naruto is laughing and telling jokes? But… but…" she sputtered.

"I know what you mean Ten-chan," Lee spoke softly, "Every time we've met Naruto-kun, his flames of youth have always seemed diminished and cold, but now," here he pumped a fist in the air and a twinkle appeared in his right eye, "NOW HIS FLAMES OF YOUTH SEEM TO BURN AS BRIGHTLY AS THEY DID IN THE DAYS OF OUR YOUTH!" he shouted

"YOSH! YOU ARE CORRECT MY YOUNG STUDENT!" screamed the voice of Gai as he appeared next to Lee with Neji in tow. "It is correct in assuming that Naruto's flames of youth have truly ignited here!" Gai stated.

Neji glanced at the still happily laughing Naruto and his normally hard gaze softened. For a while he didn't say anything as his teammates and sensei talked, for he was deep in thought, his eyes never straying from Naruto's joyful and inebriated visage.

"What do you think he'll do now?" asked Tenten. Everyone looked at her, curiosity and mild confusion etched in their faces. "I mean, he never stays in Suna long and we'll have to go after him sooner or later soo…." Here she trailed off while her comrades nodded in understanding.

"Any ideas on where he might go?" asked Neji. Gai put a hand to his chin and hummed in thought, Lee following his example

"Naruto-kun never goes to Earth country so we can rule out there!" Lee declared.

"RIGHT! A very youthful deduction my young apprentice!" Gai exclaimed.

"OIIII!" yelled another voice causing the others to cringe. Turning, the group saw a rather disheveled Naruto standing in front of them, a giant smile on his face along with a rather large jug of sake in his left hand. "Whut are you guysh doing shtanding around? Itsh a festival! Cummon, come and join uss for a bit o ssaakkkeee!" Naruto slurred. Team nine blinked at his offer and his rather goofy disposition.

"Naruto… are you drunk?" Neji asked, fully realizing how stupid that question sounded. Of course he was drunk! When they usually met he was drunk! Hell, he figured he was ALWAYS drunk, what with how much he puts away and how often they had met him IN bars surrounded by empty bottles. Honestly he just thought that Naruto wasn't affected by alcohol anymore.

The blonde laughed loudly at that. "Course I'm drunk! I'm alwaysh drunk! Now shtop shtandin around and put shome sake in yur mouth!" Naruto declared. Before he could protest, the blonde had grabbed Neji by his wrist and dragged him over towards the tavern. The Hyuuga looked back towards his teammates a desperate plea in his eyes. They stared at each other before shrugging and following after the blonde and captive Hyuuga , past Naruto's drinking buddies and into the tavern.

Soon all five of them were seated in a booth and Team Gai was a little nervous. Who could blame them? This was the first time they'd actually seen him drunk! "Sho, wassup guys? Cummon, have some sake and tell me whaat you've been up to!" Naruto stated. Before anyone could protest there was no sake, the blonde had already slammed his hand on the table and in a puff of smoke a tanuki pup appeared with two large jugs of sake. Naruto handed the little creature a coin and it disappeared in the blink of an eye.

"Well? Don just shit(sit, slurred not cursing) there, grab a dish and take a drink!" slurred Naruto happily as he produced five sake dishes from seemingly nowhere and dealt them to the surprised Konoha ninja.

"To Chiyo! Shee wasa hell'uva grandma!" Naruto declared as he raised his dish. The others toasted as well, but much more silently and drank their dishes… except for Lee and Gai, whose drinks were quickly replaced with water. They did not need three drunken fist fighters on a rampage, though Naruto seemed very in control.

"Sho whatss up with you guysh? Hope yer likin the festival," Naruto opened the conversation up.

"Uhm, the festival is quite spectacular Naruto," stated Neji nervously as he slowly took a sip of sake. When the liquid met his taste buds, Neji's eyes widened at the taste. As a Hyuuga, Neji had never had alcohol before due to the laws and customs of his home, while it was not frowned upon by the clan to enter a bar or drink, it was frowned upon for under aged members to drink, didn't matter if they were civilian or shinobi, branch or main, if you were underage, you didn't drink. However, the shinobi side got a little more leniency so Neji figured he'd be fine.

"Yosh! It is brimming with energy Naruto-kun! The entire village feels as if it is filled with the power of youth! Right Gai-sensei?" Lee stated.

"Right you are Lee! I've never seen this village so joyous!" Gai said with a shining smile. In all honesty he really COULDN'T remember when Suna was like this! Many saw Suna as quiet and calm, but it could be fierce and deadly just as easily. It was a serious village, but now, it was having a festival! A festival in Suna! They'd probably had celebrations and stuff but a festival like this? "Truly, I never thought Suna could be so filled with youth!" finished Gai with a grin.

"Seriously, everyone in the village must absolutely adore Gaara and Lady Chiyo," Tenten commented as she took a healthy sip from her dish.

"You can bet yer shweet ass they are!" declared Naruto with a laugh, "I shwear, Chiyo-baachan and old Whiskey woulda been perfect for each other! I tell, she was the second one to outdrink me! I shwear with old age comes the ability to not ecome ine…iebriti…. Eknee…. Shitfaced!" Naruto finally declared as he had trouble saying the more polite/professional term.

"Wow! Chiyo-san really out drank you?" Lee asked in amazement.

"Yup! She and one other beat me at drinkin'! slurred the blonde as he downed his sake and refilled it.

"Who was the other?" asked Tenten, setting her dish down.

"Old Man Whiskey! The old coot who taught me what I know!" Naruto replied with a lopsided grin.

"Whiskey?" Neji asked, his cheeks a little red. The pale man blinked and rubbed his eyes a bit. Was it him, or did Tenten look cuter than she did before?

"That's what he calls himshelf," Naruto replied taking another swig, "His real name ish Danieru Uisuki, and the guy is a demented hermit! Sherioushly, one time the guy tried to train a chicken how to use a katana! And actually succeeded! Don't know how he did it but, then again, thish ish the same guy who thinks kittens are plotting to rule the world," he mumbled.

Gai narrowed his eyes in thought. _'Now may be a good time to find out where Naruto is headed, maybe even some info about this Danieru Uisuki' _putting on a brilliant smile and asked in a cheery voice, "So what are you planning on doing after the festival Naruto-kun?"

Naruto shrugged his shoulders before downing another dish of sake, "Who knowsh? Gotta drop off my momentos with Whishkey then I'm off!" here he gestured drunkenly into the air. "To be honest though, kinda wish I could stay, ya know?"

Tenten lifted an eyebrow and asked, "How so?" the girl glanced at Neji and saw he seemed to be checking her out. She blushed slightly before giving him a coy smile and winking. Neji blinked before grinning at her and waging his eyebrows.

Naruto sighed, "Well I just wish I hada real home, ya know? Like, an actual place that accepts me for me, with friendsh and people actually happy to see me instead of the glares those damned villagers gave me! Thish place ish great, but I'd just bring'em trouble," he slurred.

The blonde didn't need to explain. Team Gai knew that if Naruto did stay, Akatsuki would come and attack again and Konoha would not like it at all. Naruto was just too powerful for Konoha to just let go, and if Gaara did harbor him here the council and Tsunade would demand him returned.

Gaara would deny it, and soon, the two villages would be at war with each other. Something neither village wanted or needed.

Sighing the blonde drunkenly stood up and staggered towards the door. "Well I'll be seeing you guysh later! I gotta get going, people to meet, bars to got, all that good shtuff!" with that, the blonde gave a loud belch before seemingly tripping and vanishing in a poof of smoke.

"Wha? Was that a clone?" Lee exclaimed. Neji shook his head, "Sheemed more like a drunken **Shunshin(Body Flicker)** to me," slurred the Hyuuga as he and Tenten stared at each other with sultry grins.

"Either way I do not believe it wise to leave Naruto-kun to his own devices when he is like this!" Gai exclaimed as he stood. "Come Lee! We must quickly find our comrade before something unyouthful befalls him!" with that the grren duo dashed out of the door in search of the drunken shinobi.

Neji turned his head away from the spectacle that was his team mate and sensei . When his eyes landed on Tenten, he noiced she a sultry smile and flushed cheeks as she stared at him with a mischievous look.

Neji merely smiled back, knowing his normally pale face was flushed red as well.

Tenten slowly leaned over the head, looked him in the eye and said,

"Wanna get back to the hotel room and lock the doors and windows?"

Neji stared blankly, his impeded mind trying to figure out why she would want to do that. _'Why on earth would she- Oh….Oooh… OH HELL YEAH!'_

Without another word, Neji grabbed her and dashed out the door, the two laughing all the way back to the hotel room.

**With Naruto, two days later**

Naruto whistled as he walked along the road before him, his mind blank as he continued forward on his journey to only he knew where. Currently, the blonde man was walking along a mountain path on the border between the Land of Earth, and Rain country. He was dressed in his usual attire but with small bag slung over his shoulder.

"**Kit, you sure he's around here?"** asked Kyuubi.

"_Yes Kyuubi, I'm positive he's around here, Jakku said he'd set up shop near the mountain ranges of Tsuchi, so we're walking along them until we can find him"_

"**And what if he's not here anymore?" **demanded the fox.

Naruto rolled his eyes_ 'You're just scared to face him, seriously, he's not that bad'_ he replied, amusement lacing his tones.

"**The man is bat-shit insane and probably older then the Rikudo Sennin! That alone scares me! Now add the fact that he's more powerful than any other human I've met, yeah, I have more than enough reason to be scared of him!"**

Naruto just rolled his eyes. However just as he was about to take another step he stopped. Slowly a smile made its way over his face as he started to mentally count down.

'_5…4…3…2…'_

"**Happibasudekikku!( Happy Birthday Kick!)"** screamed a voice. Sighing, Naruto quickly created a shadow clone and stepped back and watched in fascination as a very oddly dressed man slammed his foot into his clone's head.

For a moment, there was a freeze frame and the scene was colored in bright colors with balloons and confetti surrounding the two figures while streamers came from the sky. The background had also turned into a warm pink color.

Because of this Naruto could take into detail of what this old man was wearing. First off, he had absolutely no hair on his bald liver spotted hair, except for one single strand that stood up and curled into a slight question mark like shape with a tiny blue bow decorating it. Course, this was nearly hidden by the man's very long and hairy stark white eyebrows. Seriously, this guy had eyebrows that put Lee's and Gai's to shame. Underneath those behemoths were the man's eyes, which could not be seen due to the perfectly round jet-black sunglasses that covered them and rested on his rather large, round and bulbous nose. Finishing off the look on his face was a very long moustache and extremely long and thick beard, both the same stark white as the eyebrows.

The old man was tanned, and wore absolutely no shirt, but he thankfully wore a pair of tattered grey shorts. That was it for normal wear, because instead of the usual sandals that most wore, the man had a pair of logs, literally a pair of logs, strapped to his feet. He also had a large barrel strapped to his back and in his hand was a simple thin staff with a sake dish attached to the top of it.

With his clone destroyed the old man landed and whirled around. "Who dares to step upon the land that belongs to the great and powerful Old Man Whiskey! Show yourself or be subjugated to my expert tracking skills!" he exclaimed.

Naruto chuckled in an embarrassed fashion, "Sensei, I'm right here," he stated.

"So you refuse to show yourself eh? Don't say I didn't warn you!" yelled the man. With that, the man froze in a ridiculous pose, legs spread and locked, one arm fully extended above his head with staff firmly in hand while the other had a finger resting against the side of his nose.

Naruto sighed and sat down. This wasn't the first time his sensei did this. All he had to do was wait, something Naruto hated but it taught him patience, oddly enough. It's all he could do, because his sensei would just do whatever he was doing before finally acknowledging him no matter how many times Naruto would try to get his attention.

So he waited… and waited… and waited…

…

…

…

Five hours later, when Naruto was on the verge of sleep Whiskey finally did something. "HYAAAA!" Naruto barely rolled out of the way as a log came down where he just was. Getting, up the blonde ducked as Whiskey spun on the same foot, bringing his other leg around to strike Naruto's head.

Naruto blocked with his left forearm and went for a straight right. With unknown flexibility, the old man bent backwards, a series of cracks and pops accompanying his action.

For a minute both combatants stayed still before. "AAAARRRRGHHH! MY BACK!" screamed the old man in pain. Straightening the man dashed across the clearing in a comedic fashion before jumping on Naruto's back. "Onwards, Sea-breeze! Back to the homestead!" he exclaimed. When they didn't move Whiskey became irritated, "Oi! Get going baka, or no ramen for you!" he barked.

"I don't know where the house is," the blonde deadpanned. Hearing this, the old man thwacked him on the head and said, "Just go forward! Follow my instructions and we'll be there before sundown!" Sighing, Naruto did as he was told, and, after much pain(Caused by Whiskey) and hard hiking (Done by Naruto) the two came upon a small cabin of wood with a small porch and traditional sliding doors. Outside there was a small pond and a large tree shading the house.

"Ah! Home sweet place where I wash my wrinkly body of the various dirt and grime!" Whiskey exclaimed as he front flipped off a tired Naruto. "Come on my boy! I'll put the tea on and cook some ramen while you wash yourself! Remember to take your shoes off boy!" with that he merrily skipped inside giggling as he went.

"**How the hell does that not scare you?"** demanded the Kyuubi as Naruto slowly walked into the house.

Naruto just shrugged, _'Compared to the shit I've been through, it takes a lot more than that to scare me' _replied the blonde as he entered the house and removed his shoes.

There was silence then, **"The alcohol helps?"**

'_Oh hell yeah'_

Naruto proceeded to take his bath and when he emerged from the room clad in a pair of simple khaki shorts and a black tank top. Sitting at the table, Naruto smiled as a steaming bowl of noodles was pushed in front of him along with a small glass of sake. When Whiskey sat down, the both of them grabbed their chopsticks and in perfect unison said, "Itadakimasu!" Both men then proceeded to pig out on their respective noodles. When that was done, both drained their dishes in one go and belched out happily before sighing in satisfaction, all in perfect synchrony.

"So whats the news? What's the word, the go about, the happenings, the recent events, in other words, WHAAAAZZZAAAAPP!" asked the short man. Without his logs, Whiskey was only half as tall as Naruto.

Chuckling, Naruto proceeded to tell Whiskey about his travels,not leaving out a single detail as spoke. When he got to the part about Gaara's capture, his voice grew a little rough with emotion but it turned into it's happy tone once more when he spoke about the red head's revival and the grand festival held in his and Chiyo's honor. When he finished, the blonde was surprised to see his sensei in tears.

"Oh Chiyo! You sexy old minx!" mourned the old man, "Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me with this idiot!" wailed the man as he pointed a finger at Naruto, who merely sighed and allowed the old man to continue. When he had finished crying the old man then slammed his hand on the table, causing Naruto to jump, "Right then! Naruto, you're off to Kumo first thing in the morning!"

The blonde blinked at that. "But sensei… I was planning on-" However, an old man's foot in his face stopped him.

"YOU WILL LISTEN TO SENSEI!" he shouted, "You're going to Kumo and that is final? DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR SENSEI?"

NAruto gave a muffled response. "I too enjoy the taste of goat milk, but that does not answer my question!" yelled the old man as he pushed forward, causing Naruto to be sent flying into the wall. "So are you going to Kumo or does sensei have to smack a bitch?" asked the old man, hand in the bitch slap ready position. Naruto panicked at this and immeditly jumped to his feets and bowed before the old man.

"Student understands sensei! Student will go to Kumo!"

"Good, now get to bed! I will be in there shortly to tuck you in and read you a story!" exclaimed Whiskey. Naruto sweatdropped but trudged off to his bed, none the less.

When the boy entered his room, he smiled upon seeing that it was the same every time he visited. It was a simple place, a bed in a corner, a walk in closet and a desk in another. The only thing that made the place special was the wall and shelves dedicated to Naruto's momentos. Trophies and souvenirs the boy had collected over the years.

Walking over the blonde smiled as he observed his findings. On a shelf, a pair of green goggles sat, something Naruto had worn in his childhood and academy days. Then there was a pair of bells, ones Naruto had swiped from Kakashi a couple days after they passed their official genin exams. Sure it was partly in revenge, but he also wanted to remember that moment of accomplishment.

Sitting next to them was a necklace with a single green gem on it. He kept it because it reminded him of the time he beat a sannin and learned the **Rasengan**. It hurt for him to stare at it too long, but he did anyway. Next to that was a kunai Naruto had used to make two oaths. One was on his first mission to wave where he stabbed his own hand and declared that he would protect Tazuna. The second time was when he put a slash through his ninja headband, and vowed to never return to Konoha. Next to it was the first Sake dish Naruto had everdrinken from, a special one given to him by Whiskey.

Sighing, he turned his vision to the wall and smiled. On it were some pictures and a single Kiri hunter-nin mask that had visible cracks but seemed to have been carefully put back together. One picture was a signed photo of him in a hospital bed while the Princess Koyuki Kazahana kissed his cheek. There was one picture of him, Tsunade, Shizune with Tonton in her arms, and Jiraiya as well as his Team 7 photo, there was one of him and the Sandaime Hokage and there was also one of the Konoha rookies plus Team Gai along with their sensei. No matter what they were still memories. Also on the wall on a hook was Naruto's old orange jumpsuit. Along with that on special stands was the toad and tanuki summoning contracts. Finally, there was a picture of Naruto and Whiskey, both with jugs of sake in their hands and giant grins on their faces.

Smiling softly, the man took out his most recent collections and set them on the shelf. Frowning slightly, Naruto took the clay and carefully molded it into two hands a, left and right. Carefully, the man heated the clay till it was hard and set it on the shelf. With just as much care, Naruto took Deidara's ring and put it on the right index finger. Grabbing Sasori's ring, the blonde placed it on the thumb of the left hand.

Smiling to him self Naruto proceed to take off his shorts and shirt and crawled into his bed. Singhing in content, he was ready to fall asleep when the door burst open in and Whiskey appeared next to Naruto's bed. Before the Konoha nuke-nin could do anything, the old man had already tucked him in tight and had a book in front of his face.

"Once upon a time in a castle far, far away," began the old man. Naruto just sweatdropped and let the old man do as he please.

Besides, when you lived your life with no parents, it was nice to have someone tuck him in and read him a story, no matter how old he was.

**A/N: Ah done… Dear God it's been so long… well at least this thing has over 8,000 words, that's something right? Anyway, Read and Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

Drunken Shinobi

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Summons/Demon speaking"**

'_**Summons/Demon thinking'**_

**A/N: Bah! Stupid e-mail… anyway! Let's start with the next chapter, ne? Time to get started on with the Kumo! Oh, and this came up in a message from MKterra.**

**Whiskey walks around on his logs, like stilts in case you were confused if he rolled around on them… though that does sound pretty cool. **

**Anyway, on to the show!**

Simple. That's all this mission was supposed to be, a simple patrol! Yet two freaks in black robes with red clouds finds her and not even her full power was enough to beat them.

"Oi, Kakuzu! When we gonna stop? My arm's getting tired from carrying this bitch! I gotta do my ritual for Jashin-sama as well!" complained one of her captors angrily. She couldn't see that well, wouldn't matter anyway, she was slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

The other one just remained silent, uncaring of his partner, "Oi, you rag doll bastard! I need to fucking stop!" shouted her carrier angrily. She could feel his killing intent, but in her position, there was nothing she could do. She was exhausted, practically dead, and they made sure she stayed that way.

It scared her.

'_Captured in my own village, nearly dead and there's no chance of getting out of this alive'_ thought the woman bitterly as she blearily shifted her dark eyes towards the sky,_ 'I need a miracle'_ she thought weakly.

She would have laughed if she had the strength. _'A miracle for a jinchuuriki? It's a miracle just to be tolerated'_ with a noiseless cry, she protested her drop to the hard ground.

"Let's start the ritual," said a dead voice. That's when Yugito Nii knew she was going to die.

To die defenseless, alone, and to never be missed.

And all she could think of was her lonely existence.

'_Good bye'_ Yugito thought sadly, _'To who ever cares'_

The last thing she felt was something shaking the very earth around her, but that was before darkness claimed her.

**With Naruto, few minutes prior**

Laughter could be heard through the mountains near Lightning Country as well as angry shouting and the sound of a giant stomping through the area.

"**Get back here you bastard!"**

"No **hic** way!" Naruto hiccupped with laughter as he jumped off a rocky outcropping, a large jug in his hand, a shit eating grin on his face, and a deep flush decorating his cheeks. Behind him a giant tanuki was chasing after the blonde, its teeth bared and eyes practically glowing with fury.

"**When I catch you, I'm going to make you into a wallet! You hear me? A WALLET!" **roared the rust furred tanuki.

"**Hahaha! Run kit run! Tubby's nearly caught us!"** Kyuubi encouraged his container gleefully. Oh how he loved it when his container did this!

"Ahahaha **hic**! You're gonna have to do better than that ta **hic** catch meee!" Naruto laughed, "*hic* Iove this bubble sake!" he proclaimed stumbling and bouncing from rock to rock.

"**You can't just steal a tanuki's alcohol you sonova bitch! Give it back or I swear I WILL turn you into a wallet!"** Roared the tanuki in a demonic tone.

"Ah sha*hic*dup Hilda!" Naruto replied making a face back at her, sailing through the air without a care. "For a **hic** cellar keeper, you're really str*hic*ct, seriously, why so sherious girl?" he teased, not caring for where he was going.

This is what caused him to fly over the edge of a cliff.

Noticing that he had yet to land, Naruto blinked before looking down, then right, then left, then down again. Shrugging, the blonde man drank more of the sake from his stolen jug._ 'Bubble sake, makes you light as a bubble, and twice as giddy'_ he giggled drunkenly.

"**I've got you now bastard!" **Hilda yelled, jumping after him and grabbing him in her claws.** "Ha! Caught ya!"** she yelled in triumph.

Then she realized, she'd just jumped off a cliff. She looked down, then to the grinning Naruto. "Now my **hic** question is," Naruto chuckled, "Was it **hic** worth it?" he asked, grinning before his eyes nearly pooped out of his head as Hilda started squeezing

"**I'm going to kill you before we hit the groooouuuuund!" **she screamed as they fell.

With a mighty thud, the two landed on the ground, Hilda dispelling from the impact. Naruto on the other hand, laughed as he landed on the ground, immediately bouncing as he did, gently floating in the air until he touched down once more, giggling like a lunatic.  
Heeheehee! **Hic** That was fun, **hic**," Naruto laughed. That's when he inhaled and frowned, "Eh? **Hic** Someone smells like cat, **hic** did we crush a cat? **Hic**," Naruto thought out loud. Shrugging, he followed the scent and found a sight that made his blood run cold.

A woman, with blonde hair and a lithe figure, was near death, not even inches from him. His happy mood immediately gone, Naruto rushed over and carefully inspected her.

She looked pretty badly beaten, clothes in near tatters, hair a mess and filthy, and she covered in bruises with apparently broken legs.

Looking to her wrists and neck, the blonde noticed she had chakra suppressor tags on her, high level ones if he figured right._ 'I'm not even drunk enough to start unraveling this stuff'_ thought the blonde bitterly. For some reason, seals made a lot more sense to him if he was drunk.

That wasn't the case at the moment though. Right now, he had to get her out of there.

"Gah! That fucking hurt!" shouted a voice. Alert, Naruto jerked his head up and beheld a sight he didn't need at the moment.

Emerging from the ground, a black pike through his chest and an Akatsuki robe hanging by his waist, was a pale skinned man with silver slick backed hair, harsh eyes, and a slashed headband.

'_Shit, if they're here then this girl is like me'_ Naruto growled mentally. Without even thinking, the man grabbed his fellow jinchuuriki and dashed off, leaving behind a very angry Akatsuki member.

"That fucking hurt! Who the fuck drops a god damned rodent on people like that, eh?" cursed the silver haired man.

"Hidan, shut up," stated a monotone voice. Hidan glared at his masked ally, not at all affected by the man's bloodshot teal eyed stare, the only thing visible due to the white facemask. "We're leaving, grab the girl," he ordered.

"Tch," Hidan grunted. Going over to where he dropped the jinchuuriki. Noticing she wasn't there, the man frowned.

"Oi, where the hell did the bitch go?" Hidan demanded.

Slowly, almost robotically, Kakuzu turned to face Hidan. He said one word.

"Nani?"

**With Naruto**

The blonde didn't stop running until he had reached a forest somewhere deep in the mountains. The area was a mixture of trees and rocks, perfect for hiding in. Currently, he had collapsed in a small cave, exhausted from the dead sprint he had done to get here.

As he did, he was immediately up again, his concern for the woman he saved keeping him standing. Thankfully, she had been on top of him when he fell.

"Now that we've lost those two, best to check on our guest," Naruto spoke aloud. Glancing at the chakra suppressor tags he nodded to himself. "And the first thing to do is get rid of these things, her demon should heal her wounds." Naruto muttered.

"**True enough kit, but that won't cure her hunger or fatigue,"** Kyuubi spoke up.

"I can't just leave her alone to get food!" Naruto protested, once again speaking aloud. "I'll get some food once I get rid of these seals," Naruto affirmed.

"**Ma, ma, relax, I was only saying you may have to carry her for a time,"** the fox replied soothingly**, "Now just get rid of the seals first, we'll plan our next move after that,"**

Taking a breath the blond nodded. Propping the girl against the cave wall the blond began looking her over. It seemed that despite everything, the girl's condition wasn't life threatening nor did it seem those two Akatsuki had done anything more than beat her and make it so she wouldn't be able to run away or recover. The worst thing about her condition was the fact she had broken legs and barely enough chakra to keep alive.

"Alright, first let's get rid of these seals," mumbled the man as he stared at the intrinsic designs of the tags on her wrists and neck. Mumbling to himself the blond pulled out his flask and began draining its contents. A red flush began spreading over his face as his vision began to blur slightly. The designs slowly began to shift and dance in front of Naruto's eyes, becoming simpler in shape and design. Naruto smiled stupidly to himself as he let the alcohol do its work.

Naruto had discovered early on in his training with Whiskey that he had a perchance for seals, a kind of knowledge that was instinctual. Make no mistake he was no master and could only create basic storage seals and low-grade explosive tags. He did, however, recognize the functions of seals and could disassemble the more complex ones if he knew the formula behind it. Unfortunately his success rate in disassembling seals was about fifty-fifty.

That was when he wasn't affected by alcohol though.

"**I'm still amazed that this helps you disassemble seals,"** mumbled the fox, shaking his head in wonder.

'_Guess that just makes me special'_ mentally chuckled the blonde as he withdrew a brush and ink well from his pocket. Dipping the brush in the ink, he brought it up and slowly began drawing figures onto the tag on Yugito's neck. It was by accident that Naruto discovered that instead of making it harder to read, alcohol helped Naruto to read and break down seals!

While to most drunks, a seal would look nothing more than a bunch of squiggles and marks, but to someone like Naruto, it may as well have been basic math.

With a final stroke, he grinned and pumped some chakra through his finger and into the tag. Immediately the slip of paper began dissolving, it's entire structure breaking apart at a microscopic level. "one down, two to go," Naruto mumbled under his breath. While looking at the other two tags, the drunken man couldn't help but frown as he mulled over his sensei.

"Weird how he tells me to go to Kumo and we end up saving a jinchuuriki," Naruto stated to himself, now finished with two of the three tags and working on the third.

The Kyuubi merely snorted in response**, "What? You think he purposely sent you this way because he knew she'd be here?"** demanded the fox.

Naruto shrugged, "Maybe, you said it yourself once, he's no ordinary old man," replied the blond. With the last tag removed the drunk sat back on his haunches with a thoughtful look on his face. "I mean someone who can train a chicken in the ways of bushido has got to be something else!"

"**Strange as he is there is no way he could have known,"** Kyuubi denied.

"What about that priestess in Demon Country? Can't she see the future?" questioned the blond.

"**That's different! She came from a lineage that has been proven to predict the future, but even then their predictions weren't always true,"** the fox protested,** "That man is an old drunk, a powerful and very senile old drunk, but a drunk nonetheless,"** the fox finished.

Naruto just rolled his eyes at his companion's words. The blond knew that for whatever reason, the nine-tailed demon was afraid of Whiskey. They knew little about the eccentric hermit only that he was incredibly old, incredibly senile, and incredibly powerful.

He was able to beat Tsunade, Kakashi and Jiraiya without even really trying. Granted, the three weren't fighting at full power but this old man had literally come skipping along before beating the crap out of them!

He gave a wry smile, as it was a bittersweet memory.

**Flashback, clearing some miles from Konoha**

"Naruto! Stop!" Kakashi called after the orange clad youngster as he, Jiraiya, and Tsunade leapt from branch to branch in pursuit of the blonde. The boy had just escaped the village not even five minutes after his declaration of desertion.

"Leave me alone!" Naruto shouted back over his shoulder angrily, not once breaking his stride to further himself from the powerful shinobi. He was zigzagging through the tress, sometimes going up into the canopy or close to the ground, because in a match of pure speed he had no chance against them.

A match of stamina however, that was something Naruto may be able to win.

"Damn it brat, what has gotten into you?" Jiraiya demanded, oblivious to Tsunade's recent decision. However, he did not fail to notice how the buxom woman flinched at the question. _'Eh? Is this related to Tsunade?'_ he wondered. Frowning he quickly stopped and turned right to keep on Naruto's tail, while still mulling over Tsunade's reaction, _'No… the gaki loves her like a grandmother… maybe the council?'_

Naruto kept running, rebounding from tree to tree, branch to branch, never once breaking his stride. He was completely focused on one thing, and that was escape. He did not, could not, let them catch him, for doing so would mean the end.

To Naruto, this was a matter of life and death, because to him there was no worse fate than to be denied the life of a shinobi. It was all he had, his reason for existence. The Uzumaki was not about to let anyone, not even the mother figure of his life, take that away from him.

Sadly, the blond jinchuuriki ran out of trees and found himself in an open field. No sooner had he landed than he was surrounded by the two sannin and one jounin.

"Naruto, there's no where left to run, now we are going to go back to the village and-," Tsunade started, but had to jump back in surprise when Naruto charged at her with a Rasengan.

"Get the hell away from me!" he shouted as he made a break for the trees once more. However, Jiraiya leaping in front of him blocked off his escape. The white haired man went through several handseals, his hair suddenly extending and wrapping around the blond child. "Let me go Ero-sennin!" Naruto growled.

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on," the toad sage responded sternly.

"Then ask _her!"_ Spat the Uzumaki, glaring at Tsunade as he continued to struggle.

Tsunade frowned at the boy, "Naruto you have to-"

"SHUT UP!" Naruto yelled, now leveling red eyes on the buxom hokage. "I don't care who you are or why you did it! YOU. JUST. SHUT. UP!" he ended in a roar, red chakra now enveloping his body.

Surprised, Jiraiya had no time to stop Naruto from breaking free of his bonds. Once free, he tried running for the trees once more, but suddenly stopped. Confused, Naruto looked down to see two gloved hands emerging from the earth with an iron grip on his ankles. With horror in his eyes, Naruto cried out in as he was yanked into the earth, only his head emerging from the soil.

"GRAAAGGHH!" roared the blond, now thrashing around, desperately trying to break free, alas it was to no avail as he remained stuck in the ground, "Dammit, dammit, DAMN IT!" he cursed loudly.

"Naruto you're coming back to the village," Tsunade stated as she walked in front of the boy's vision.

"Hell no! I won't let you!" Naruto screamed in rage.

"Naruto what are you talking about?" Kakashi asked as he emerged from the dirt.

Naruto was about to scream at him, but stopped as he caught sight of the strangest thing he'd ever seen. Seeing as the captured boy was no longer paying attention to him, the three other ninja looked to see what had caught his attention, keeping an eye on the slippery kid just in case. However, what they saw demanded all of their attention.

Skipping across the field, singing nonsensical words was the ancient drunkard that they would all come to know as Danieru Uisuki. The elder took no notice of the Konoha ninja as he spun around like a ballerina, surprisingly graceful for how heavily he reeked of sake.

After a while, he stopped dancing and stared at the people who were looking at him in utter bewilderment. For a while they stared at each other.

"Um… yo!" Kakashi greeted, trying to break the tense atmosphere that had settled over the clearing. Light seemed to flash over Whiskey's sunglasses and in an instant, the old man was right in Kakashi's masked face.

"What the hell are you hiding eh?" he screamed, "What's behind that mask eh? EH?" with that. Whiskey yanked off the mask, revealing the secondary one Kakashi always wore, "AH! A mask within a mask? What witchery dost thou practice!" he screamed an accusing finger pointed at the masked man.

"Uhh…" Kakashi responded, unsure of just what was happening. Shaking his head, Kakashi spoke again, "Listen sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave and give me my mask back," he said, hand held out expectingly.

"Hmm, you know, I think I know why you wear this mask!" said the drunk, causing Kakashi to blink at what he saw. Old Man Whiskey was now happily wearing Kakashi's mask, his entire beard and mustache shoved into it and spilling over the edges and straining against the fabric. "Makes me feel mysterious," Whiskey explained, posing in a low squat with his hands out. "I bet you use this to attract the ladies too!" he exclaimed, laying down in what could only be described as the 'the French girl' pose. "How about it Miss Double E? Can you resist the temptation of my mask?" asked Whiskey in what he though was a seductive voice to Tsunade.

For her part, the Slug Princess only turned slightly green.

"Look psycho gramps, just run along and go pass out in a bar somewhere," Jiraiya finally said with a dismissive wave of his hand. Turning back to the blonde head still the hole he frowned, "As for you, we're going to be having a ser- ," the Toad Sage never got to finish as a log crashed into the side of his head and sent him flying straight into a tree with a loud smack.

"Respect your elders, or I'll tan your hide with trout! You hear me? A TROUT!" roared Whiskey as he shook his staff at the comical heap that was an unconscious Jiraiya. "And as for you!" Whiskey shouted, pointing a wrinkled finger at the trapped form of Naruto, "Stop being lazy!"

The blonde and whiskered head gaped at the old man, then, Mount. Uzumaki exploded, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING LAZY YOU OLD COOT? ARE THOSE STUPID GLASSES BLINDING YOU TO THE FACT THAT I'M STUCK IN THE GROUND FROM THE SHOULDERS DOWN?" the Uzumaki screamed, blue eyes shining with rage.

"You dare insult my awesome shades of sexiness?" Whiskey screamed back, spittle flying from his mouth while he shook his staff at the boy, "You cross the line! Prepare to be punished with the power of a tiger!"

"Oh like you could do anything you decrepit old fart!" Naruto snapped.

"**Mimitsu Bojutsu! Mori no Taiga! (Secret Staff Technique! Tiger of the woods!)"** Whiskey screamed as he swung his staff up nd brought it down in an arc, nailing Naruto in the face and sending the boy flying from his earthy prison and sailing straight into a tree, "Now look what you've done! You've gone and harmed a poor defenseless tree with your thick empty skull!" Cried the old man, now stomping his log wearing feet in a mad jig of fury. He stopped when he sensed something amiss though.

Turning his head, the old man's eyes widened behind his shades as the fist came flying towards his face.

"Eat this creep!" Tsunade roared as her attack struck home… in a way.

Following her words to the letter, Whiskey had caught Tsunade's fist in his mouth, his teeth, as few as there were, were clenched tightly around the legendary fist of Tsunade. Said woman could only stare in shock, but quickly retracted her hand when the drunken senior made an attempt to bite her entire hand. Jumping back she stared at her opponent in confusion, disgust written all over her face.

"Don't look at me like that!" he snorted, "If I don't bite your hand how can I eat it?" demanded the old man, crossing his arms childishly. When he got no response, he raised a bushy eyebrow at her and asked, "Just saying, kind of hard to eat something without biting it, I mean, I could choke you know!" he pointed out.

Tsunade growled and charged at him again, jumping high, she came at the unmoving man with a heel drop, "Just shut up, you perverted drunk!"

Naruto had come back into the clearing at this point, noticing that out of all the people still conscious, only him, the Godaime and Whiskey were the only ones still conscious. While it had crossed his mind to leave while he had the chance, the blonde wanted to see just what this old man could do. What he saw next, he just couldn't believe.

As Tsunade's heel came down, Whiskey spun to his left, his right hand reaching up and snatching her ankle. Surprised, Tsunade could only yelp as she was yanked out of the air and into the dirt. Keeping his momentum going, Whiskey dragged Tsuande along the ground before snapping his arm up and flinging her into the air. Spinning his staff once, and catching the sake dish perched upon it in his right hand, the old man started to jab at the prone form of Tsunade with his staff at speeds Naruto could barely follow. Finally, the white bearded drunk stopped his assault and allowed Tsunade to fall to the dirt with a small gasp of pain.

Whsitling slightly, the old man casually filled his dish from the barrel on his back with richly colored sake. Bringing the cup to his bulbous nose, he sniffed the scent of the drink and took a small sip. Smacking his lips happily the old man bent over the prone form of Tsunade, who was too tired to do more than suck in ragged breaths and glare at the elder.

Cocking an eyebrow he said, "This is usually the part where the voices in my head tell me to do something horrible to you, but lucky for you they've been drowned out by sake," with his piece said, the Old Man left the hokage to pass out from pain and approached the dumbstruck form of Naruto, the blonde's jaw nearly on the floor with his eyes bugging out of his head.

Stopping in front of the boy Whiskey made a small humming noise in his throat, a hand coming up to stroke his white beard. Finally breaking his stupor, Naruto snapped his mouth shut and blinked a couple of time while Whiskey continued to stare at the blond. Scowling slightly Naruto crossed his arms over his chest in front of him, "What the hell are you staring at old man?" he snapped.

Whiskey paused from stroking his beard and stood frozen like that for a moment, his fingers curled in the snow white hair that was his beard while his shaded eyes gazed at the small ninja in front of him. Slowly, the old man began to smirk.

Naruto raised a brow at the smirk and was about to ask about it in his own special way when he was grabbed by the collar of his jumpsuit and dragged backwards. "Oi! Oi! What the hell are you doing!" Naruto shouted as he tried to escape from the drunk's iron grip.

"Get ready to puke cry and relive repressed memories only to forget them the next morning, because kid, you're my new apprentice!" Whiskey declared, not breaking his stride in the least and completely ignoring the protests of his new charge.

**End Flashback**

"That was probably the weirdest day of my life," Naruto mumbled aloud, a nostalgic smile on his face as he sat with his back against the cave wall and his eyes focused on the fire in front of him. Night had fallen during his reminiscing, and his companion had still yet to awaken from her slumber.

"**Weirder than that day R.J gave you some of his 'special' brew?"** asked the fox. Naruto laughed at that, unclipping the flask from his side and taking a swig.

"That was just plain messed up," laughed the blond. "I still don't understand that whole Bottle in a Cup thing," he chuckled. "Gotta say though, makes a damn good genjutsu,"

"**Forcing the enemy to drink hallucinogenic alcohol is not a genjutsu,"** Kyuubi deadpanned.

"Ah shut up ya stupid fox, you don't know anything bout the ninja art of illusion," Naruto shot back.

There was silence for a time, then, **"You do realize I'm going to fuck with your head now right?"** Kyuubi asked, a level of mischievous glee in his voice.

Naruto smacked his forehead with his palm and dragged it down his face before giving a sigh of defeat. "Old enough to drink, vote kill and whatever else, but still not wise enough to keep my mouth shut," muttered the blond as he settled in for the night. Taking one last gulp from his flask, turned his body towards the entrance, hand near his kunai pouch as he fell into a light sleep.

Tomorrow would come soon enough, and with it, new adventures awaited.

**A/N: And that's the latest chapter. I'm sorry it's so late, but I've been dealing with issues ranging from my grandfather's funeral to schoolwork and grades not to mention relationship issues… But you don't want to hear about that, just know I'm back and still writing. And those waiting for an update on Laughter of the Broken… yeah, it's gonna be a pretty long wait…**

**Ja ne.**


	9. Chapter 9

Drunken Shinobi

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Summons/Demon speaking"**

'_**Summons/Demon thinking'**_

**A/N: Oh my, oh my, it certainly has been a while eh? Well the summer is coming and now I've got free time… sort of… maybe… Oh boy, this is going to be another long month… Any who! Time to start up the next chapter of Drunken Shinobi! Let's get rolling!**

**I do not own the Naruto franchise or anything associated, this is only for fun.**

Yugito awoke to the sound of chirping birds and sunshine warming her face. Weakly, painfully, she sat up, her body protesting against the action and demanding more sleep. Nonetheless, Yugito got up on her knees and opened her eyes.

Almost immediately the light shining through the cave blinded her, burning her retinas and causing her still awakening mind to throb with pain. Her hands flew to her eyes to ward off the pain. Rubbing her eyes with the heels of her palms, she slowly opened her eyes, this time facing away from the sun and towards the cave wall.

Her eyes now open; the Kumo kunoichi took stock of her surroundings. The first thing she noticed was that she was alone in a small cave. It didn't go that far back and it was just large enough to stand in with the ceiling still being a foot or so above her head.

Putting her back against the wall of the cave, she started to check herself over for injuries. Yugiot was surprised to find that apart from some extreme fatigue and soreness, she was perfectly fine. Her legs were still weak, but they weren't broken like she remembered. _'How?'_ she wondered, her answere came to her when she caught sight of her left wrist. _'The seals… they're gone?'_ she asked mentally, her eyes inspecting he bare white wrist for any sign of the tag that had sapped her of her chakra, but after several minutes of looking, she could only conclude that they had been removed.

'_But why?'_ she thought. Removing the seals allowed her to access her demon and its chakra, which she guessed was the reason why she was mostly healed. What possible reason would her captors have that would make them remove the seals? Didn't they want to take her demon?

Frowning, she tried to remember what happened just before she blacked out. _'That one man, the silver haired one, was carrying me over his shoulder,'_ Yugito remembered, _'Then they dropped me, something about beginning a ritual'_ she shuddered slightly at that. That other man's voice scared her, it was just so cold, so hard, so… dead. The fact that he was about to begin some ritual on her only added to the fear. _'Then… then the ground shook and I blacked out'_ she finished.

Something was wrong here… what happened after she blacked out? Was she under some genjutsu while they sucked out her demon? Were they simply taking her to their base and they needed the seals gone in order to extract her demon?

There were too many questions and not enough answers going through the woman's head. Who were those men? What did they want with her bijuu? What happened after she blacked out?

Sighing in frustration, she decided that her questions would have to wait. Right now, she needed to get healed up and go back to her village. However she was in no condition to travel and she had no idea where she even was, so what could she do?

She didn't get an answer as the sound of someone coming towards the cave made her start in panic. _'My captor '_ she quickly assumed. Grabbing a rock about the size of her fist, she pretended to be unconscious and wait for her captor.

Naruto yawned as he walked back into the cave, a couple of dead fish and firewood clutched in his arms. He had woken up early, as he did every day, and decided that when his guest woke up, she'd want some food and warmth. So the Uzumaki went into the woods, found a river with plenty of fish, a good heap of firewood and came back to make a nice and cozy campfire.

Reaching his hidey-hole, the blond peeked inside and saw that the woman was still sound asleep. Shrugging, Naruto dropped his load of wood and game and then began to create a campfire at the mouth of the cave. Lighting the fire with a simple fire jutsu, Naruto began spearing the fish he had caught on nearby sticks, setting them over the fire to cook. Meanwhile, his "unconscious" guest was watching him.

'_Who's that?'_ was the first thing that came to Yugiot's mind when she saw the blond man. From her vantage point, Yugito could only see the side of Naruto, his face being blocked from view by his spiky blond hair. She took note of his muscular build, the scars on his arms and legs as well as the kunai pouch strapped to his leg along with the silver hip flask on his hip. She squinted to make sure it wasn't a trick of the light, but she could just make out the letters "N.U" etched into the flask.

'_N.U? Is that his initials or something?'_ she wondered. She watched as he shifted his weight so that he had his back to her completely, and it was at that moment that Yugito decided to strike.

Slowly and quietly she crept up on Naruto, her movements as subtle as a cat's. When she was as close as she could get without actually alerting the man to his presence, she struck.

Naruto didn't know what happened, one minute he was watching the fire and contemplating what to do with his guest, the next, he was pinned under her, watching her intense eyes and the hand that wielded the rock above her head.

Yugito's eyes flickered to the headband Naruto wore and was mildly surprised to at what she saw _'A Konoha nuke-nin? Whats he doing out this far'_ she narrowed her eyes at the male blond and spoke"Who are you?" Yugito asked fiercely, her eyes boring into the surprised and bloodshot eyes of Naruto's own reflective blue.

'_Well, so much for a pleasant chat over warm food'_ Naruto thought sarcastically. _'Seriously, I save her ass from Akatsuki and THIS is how she thanks me?'_

"**Oh stop complaining like some whiny brat, she just wants some answers,"** Kyuubi spoke, **"Besides, the view isn't so bad,"** he stated, the leer on his face easily seen in his words.

Naruto was confused, but then he took note of his situation. Yugito had managed to pin his shoulders with her knees and was basically straddling his torso. She was also clothed in nothing but tattered clothe that only covered her deceny, and that was only barely.

Looking up at the fierce gaze, the slightly messy hair and her figure as a whole, Naruto had to admit that the view wasn't bad at all.

"I said who are you!" Yugito barked, forcing Naruto out of his trance.

The Uzumaki sighed and answered her, "Name's Naruto, Naruto Uzumaki. Now can you get off of me?"

She didn't budge but instead cocker her armed hand back a bit, as if to strike. Naruto got the message though.

"Why did you take me?" Yugito demanded.

"Because you were about to have your bijuu sucked out by the Akatsuki," Naruto answered back plainly. He soon regretted his answer when Yugito used her free hand to begin digging her needle sharp nails into his chest.

"How do you know I'm a jinchuuriki?" Yugito demanded, a cold glint in her eyes, "Who are the Akatsuki? What's your relation with them?"

With every question, her nails dug a bit deeper into Naruto's flesh. The blond was trying hard not to fight back or cry out in pain against her abuse of his torso, but in the end, his temper got the better of him, "WOULD YOU GET OFF?" he roared. Bucking his hips and digging his heels into the dirt, Naruto was able to slip out from under Yugito, sending her falling forward with a cry of surprise. "Fuck! I save your life and you say thanks by trying to dig out my heart in an interrogation?" Naruto exclaimed, now standing and facing the kunoichi, his left hand massaging at the lightly bleeding but quickly healing wounds on his chest.

Yugito merely glared back, distrust and suspicion in her eyes as she spoke back, "You're a nuke-nin, same as those other two. They knew about my demon just like you do," she accused.

Naruto sighed and grabbed his hip flask, taking a deep drink, the blond took the silver away from his lips, belched, and sat down in front of Yugito, "Look, I'll answer your questions, what you do after that is up to you" Naruto told her. Ignoring her distrusting look, Naruto continued, "As for who the Akatsuki are, they're a group of missing ninja who, for a reason I still don't know, are seeking out the tailed beasts," Naruto took another swig "My relationship with them is… well let's just say I'm an object of necessity to them," Naruto answered aloofly.

Yugito narrowed her eyes at that, but decided not to comment. So far, she could discern no deceit from him. It either meant he was a very good liar, or telling the truth.

"As for how I know you're a jinchuuriki, well, that was an educated guess," Naruto answered, taking another swig, "Honestly, you could have been a bounty or something they were collecting, but I probably would have helped you anyway,"

"Why?" Yugito demanded.

Naruto just shrugged, "To piss off the Akatsuki and hinder their plans," he replied, making Yugiot narrow her eyes in slight anger, "That, and I wouldn't feel right leaving someone to die,"

Yugito raised a brow at that, "Not many missing ninja would stop to help people," she quipped, probing for a motive behind why he helped her. Missing ninja, by definition and nature, didn't do anything just out of the kindness of their hearts.

Naruto just shrugged uncaringly, completely casual and at ease, "Believe me or not, makes no difference. Point is, you're safe, Akatsuki lost the chance to capture a Bijuu and I have a guide to Kumo," he replied.

"What do you mean you have a guide to Kumo?" Yugito snapped, immediately on edge.

Naruto locked eyes with her, "Well you want to go home right? Back to your village?"

"Of course," Yugito replied back.

"Then you're leading me to the village," Naruto answered back simply. Before Yugito could deny him Naruto spoke again, "The Akatsuki are going to be searching for you and even with your Bijuu, you're in no condition to fight them again, but if we travel together, you'll get home sooner,"

"Why would you even want to come to Kumo?" Yugito demanded. She would rather those Akatsuki freaks catch her than unwittingly lead a spy into her home.

"Because it's sensei's orders," Naruto replied simply, walking over to the fish and removing them so they wouldn't get burned, turning he offered one to his guest, "Here, you need this much more than I do,"

Yugiot blinked at the man, her eyes darting between the fish and the drunk. Eventually, her hunger took over and she snatched the food from his grasp, biting into it while never taking her gaze from the man in front of her. Gulping down her food she finally asked, "Why would your 'sensei' want you to go to Kumo?" she demanded.

Naruto shrugged as he bit into his own fish, "Probably to stop the Akatsuki from taking your Bijuu, maybe to warn Kumo that the Akatsuki are on the move, hell, maybe he just wanted me to leave so I'd have an adventure of some sort," Naruto snorted at that, "Old Man Whiskey has a thing about sending me out into the world,"

Yugito paused from eating as she heard that name, "Old Man Whiskey?" She asked, her voice conveying disbelief and suspicion.

Naruto merely nodded, "Yup, that's the drunken hermit's name. Guy sends me all over the place," he spoke around his fish, finally swallowing then getting to his feet, "Well, we'd better get moving,"

Yugiot blinked at that, having only just finished her fish, "Going? Now? What makes you think I've agreed to take you to Kumo?" she demanded.

Naruto shrugged, "Either you tell me and we both get their sooner or I keep you unconscious until I find the damn place… your choice,"

"And what makes you think you can keep me knocked out until you find the place?" Yugito demanded, arms crossed and a fierce scowl on her face. Naruto merely cocked an eyebrow at her before he chuckled. Yugito frowned at that, "What are you laughing at?"

In response, Naruto simple put up the boar handsign and blew a small stream of air at Yugito from his mouth. At first, she did not see the point in what he did, but then she had the misfortune of inhaling through her nose.

'_Oh, dear KAMI!'_ she mentally screamed, for her mouth was too busy trying help hack up the contents of her stomach after inhaling whatever that HORRIBLE smell was! It smelled like alcohol mixed with garlic, onions, bad eggs and all sorts of other foul smelling things!

"THAT'S, how I'd keep you unconscious my dear," Naruto responded, waving a hand in front of his face to get rid of the stench, "I don't like using it much, but damn if it doesn't work,"

Yugito just glared at the man through watery eyes, her hand covering her mouth and nose. _'Bastard'_ she mentally growled at the man. Naruto didn't seem to care as he walked towards her still seated form. Squatting down he looked her in the eyes, his blue and uncaring orbs boring into her own black eyes.

"So what will it be? Willing guide, or unconscious delivery?" Naruto asked.

Yugito narrowed her eyes at the man, "How do I know you're not up to anything? Give me on good reason to take you to Kumo," she demanded.

Naruto stared back at her and replied, "Because you owe me,"

Yugito blinked, surprised by the answer, "Say what?"

Naruto frowned back at her as he replied, "Whether you like it or not, I saved your life and you owe me a favor in return for it. Of all the things I could ask for from you, I am simply asking to come to your village in order to tell your kage all the info I have on the Akatsuki as well as to return you back home where you belong," he paused, letting it sink in before continuing, "Take me to your village and I promise to leave within the week right after I've told the Raikage all I know about the Akatsuki, deal?" with that, he offered her his hand, his blue eyes conveying all the sincerity and seriousness he could muster.

Yugito could only stare back in surprise at him. He had given her not one, but two very good reasons for her to take him to the village. She searched carefully for any kind of deception in his voice, eyes his posture, searched anywhere that might convince her to deny him, but the more she searhed, the more she found she couldn't deny him.

This drunken, nuke-nin, bad breathed ninja had saved her life and wanted nothing more than for this Akatsuki to be foiled. How could she deny him? Even if he was a threat, by the time they reached her village, she would be fully recovered and there were plenty of shinobi to stop him if he decided to do anything.

So with her mind made up, she grabbed his offered hand and responded, "I'll take you, but I'll be watching every move you make,"

Naruto merely smile and pulled her onto her feet. In one fluid motion, he spun her behind him and hoisted the kunoichi onto his back, "Right then! To Kumo we go!" with that declaration, Naruto stamped out his fire and walked outside, "Point the way and let's get moving!"

Yugiot chuckled slightly at his energy before becoming serious, "If memory serves right, you'll want to head north east," she stated.

"Right!" with that, the blond man dashed off in the said direction, Yugito wrapping her arms around his neck to keep from falling off.

**An unknown location**

"You lost the two tails?" a voice demanded. His tone did not go above a gentle monotone, but the force behind his tone conveyed deep disappointment and fury. The owner of the voice was a man whose face was pierced and studded with multiple black rods and studs. He was dressed in the robes of the Akatsuki, but it was his eyes, his purple eyes with a ripple pattern around the pupils, were what drew the attention of two unfortunate souls.

"Oi! We didn't lose the bitch! Some fucking rodent from the sky came out of nowhere and flattened us! When we got up, the fucking bitch was gone!" Hidan protested, his holographic image conveying his anger.

"Quiet Hidan, if it wasn't for your rituals, this would not have happened," Kakuzu responded, his deep voice resounding with the sound of his own frustration.

"You heretic bastard! Do not tarnish the great Jashin!" Hidan barked back.

"Enough," spoke the unknown man, his voice immediately capturing the attention of the other two Akatsuki members, "You two are to still capture the two-tails, nothing has changed that," he ordered, "Be quick about your mission and Kakauzu, if you are going to collect bounties be quick about them, understand?"

Kakuzu merely nodded in response. "Do not fail me a second time, or I will make sure you are punished severely,"

"Ha! Not even you can kill us!" Hidan boasted, not at all caring for his partner's warning growl.

The unnamed man merely leveled his eyes on Hidan and said, "There are worse things than death Hidan, you would do well to remember that,"

Hidan merely gave an annoyed grunt before his form flickered out of existence, Kakuzu's own following soon after. The pierced man merely turned around, his eyes overlooking a city of steel and rain.

"Soon…" he whispered to himself, then, with a flash of lightning and a boom of thunder, he vanished without a trace.

**A/N: Aaaaaand cut! Ok, so I know this isn't a very long chapter, but at least it's here. We're starting a new arc people, and this time, our blond hero is off to Kumo! Ooo I wonder what adventures await us! Be sure to leave a review!**

**Ja ne!**


	10. Chapter 10

Drunken Shinobi

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Summons/Demon speaking"**

'_**Summons/Demon thinking'**_

**A/N: Wow! Didn't expect such a strong response from everyone! Guess I forgot how popular this story was… Any who! Yes, I plan on making this a Naruto Yugito pairing because A) It's not done that often, B) This particular Naruto needs a woman like Yugito. It was either her or Temari, but I feel that Suna isn't exactly… adventurous? Idk, more interesting characters in Kumo I suppose and C)… honestly, I feel there's a much more interesting love development between these two than any other, at least in this particular story.**

**Also, Roboguy45… I haven't seen that filler arc, but you might just be on to something… hmm… Oh yeah, definitely on to something there…**

**Ok! Let's start this next chapter, and let's hope it's long! I own nothing but my own original ideas, no more, no less!**

**Somewhere in the Land of Lightning**

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Yugito screamed as she clung desperately to Naruto's back. Peeking over her shoulder, she yelped in surprise as a beer bottle nearly hit her.

"I didn't even do anything!" Naruto slurred back as he drunkenly fled from the mob of angry people,

"You punched a man through the wall of the bar and then used his friends to demolish the town hall!" Yugito shouted back.

"They were drinking my sake!" Naruto protested, nearly tripping over his own feet as he turned right.

"You drank every lost drop of alcohol in the bar! What the hell were they supposed to drink?!"

"Well they can drink pissh for all I care!" Naruto replied, stumbling to the left as several bottles barely missed smashing into his head.

"DON'T EVEN MENTION THAT! That was the most vulgar and disgusting thing I've ever seen!" Yugito screamed.

"Ah, cummon, it washn't that bad,"

"YOU RELIEVED YOURSELF ON THEM AND THE WRECKAGE FOR A FULL MINUTE!"

"Heheheheeheh- OW!" Naruto yelped as Yugito finally got a fistful of his hair and began yanking, "Owowowow! Whatcha doing that for! Leggo!"

Yugito ignored him as she kept pulling, "It's not funny! Now run faster!" she screamed, digging her heels into his sides for emphasis.

Naruto gave another yelp of pain as he put on a fresh burst of speed, leaving the angry townspeople behind as he dashed off with his companion into the night.

It was sometime before Naruto stopped running and the two finally stopped in a small clearing surrounded by trees. Yugito got off of her traveling companions back, making sure to kick him a bit as she did, and began to chew out the drunken missing ninja, "What the hell is wrong with you?! We were supposed to just spend the night in the town then move out the next morning! What in the name of all that is holy were you thinking?!" she demanded, whirling around to confront him, only to just stare in disbelief at the passed out and snoring figure of Naruto Uzumaki.

Yugito closed her eyes; fingers coming up to gently massage her temples as she fought back the urge to maul the man in his sleep. The two had been traveling for about two days and in that time, Yugito had learned very little about her savior.

Releasing a long sigh through her nose, the blond woman opened her eyes and studied Naruto's unconscious form. Naruto had passed out facedown, legs and arms sprawled out with his right cheek resting against the ground as he snored loudly. Rolling her eyes, the kunoichi rolled the man over on his side, just in case he vomited in his sleep, her nose wrinkling in disgust as the smell of alcohol and sake flooded her nostrils.

Content that the man wouldn't suffocate in his sleep, Yugito sat down next to him and stared intently at his face, or more specifically, his headband. The slash that went so neatly through the spiraling leaf symbol engraved in the metal intrigued her for some reason. Unconsciously, she reached her hand out and brushed her fingertips along the slash, pushing a few stray spikes of hair away as she did. _'Such a simple mark, yet such a deep meaning'_ she thought to herself.

She had not yet asked what Naruto had done to abandon his village, but she was sure it was an interesting tale. Nuke-nin always left their village by choice, because no shinobi village would let any one of their forces be exiled. To exile a shinobi was to basically give away village secrets. _'Yet what did you do to make you turn traitor?'_ she wondered.

All sorts of different scenarios went through her head as she tried to figure out just what made the man in front of her turn traitor? _'Did he kill someone?'_ she thought, _'did he reveal village secrets? Abandon his team? Just what would make him turn traitor?'_

Nuke-nins, at least in her experience, were always cruel, selfish, evil, merciless or something of a negative nature that made them go against their village for their own personal reasons. All of them were scum in some form or another, a kind of evil that made anyone they met disgusted or frightened. The two Akatsuki that had captured her were prime examples, but as for Naruto…

He wasn't anything like the typical nuke-nin. From what Yugito had seen, Naruto wasn't malicious in any form except for the one instance where those men taking his sake provoked him into a drunken tantrum. She couldn't call it a rage because of just how ridiculous the whole thing had been!

Naruto was also kind. As soon as they had entered the town, Naruto had taken her to a clothing shop so she wasn't in the rags of her old uniform anymore. He had then taken her to a medic to be checked out for any serious damage. While she was still pretty fatigued from her ordeal with Kakuzu and Hidan, the doctor had announced her perfectly fine. Even then, the blond had still insisted on carrying her on his back to the motel they planned to stay at.

Then the man had gotten drunk at the bar.

Sighing in annoyance, Yugito glared at the sleeping Naruto, "Just what are you playing at?" she whispered. Despite the kindness shown to her, Yugito couldn't help but think that there was a motive behind his actions. Maybe he was trying to lure her into a false sense of security. Maybe he was trying to win her trust so it would make it easier for him to move around Kumo. Maybe he was just pretending with this whole nice guy act, so that she, and no one else, would be prepared for when he betrayed them. Maybe-

Naruto gave an extra loud snore before rolling over, mumbling something about ramen with sake broth as he did. Yugito sweatdropped as she watched his prone form snore away without a care, maybe the fact was that this guy was just an alcoholic, kind, missing ninja. Looking at him like this, Yugito couldn't really associate Naruto with any of the theories in her head. He was either a really good actor, or just exactly what he appeared to be.

Deciding to think about it later, Yugito made herself comfortable against the trunk a tree not far from where Naruto was sleeping. Closing her eyes, Yugito allowed herself to drift off to sleep, oddly lulled by Naruto's snores and the ambient noise of the forest's night life.

**At the same time, at Konoha **

Tsunade frowned over the mission report on her desk, a hand idly swirling the bottle of sake in her free hand. _'Orochimaru… still fixed on getting the Uchiha I see…'_ Tsunade thought as she reread the details of the report.

It had been a fairly simple mission and had had more than enough manpower to complete, but as with all missions regarding Team 7, it had been complicated.

Kakashi, Sasuke and Sakura along with two other ninja, a former ANBU by the name of Yamato and a ROOT ninja named Sai, had been sent to capture the spy Sasori had mentioned. The spy had turned out to be Orochimaru's right hand man, Kabuto Yakushi.

To make a long story short, the meeting had been a trap for Orochimaru to kill Sasori. Team 7 then engaged the snake and his lackey in combat. As usual, Orochimaru had toyed with his prey and once again attempted to take Sasuke. Fortunately, the snake failed and was forced to retreat back to his base. Sai had followed, abandoning his tem in order to "join" Orochimaru so that he could later kill the rogue Sannin in his sleep or some such bullshit.

Tsunade snorted at that. "Danzou underestimates his enemy," she muttered before downing a portion of her bottle. Eventually the rest of team 7 caught up with Sai and foiled the assassination attempt. While bad for the leaf that the snake was still alive, there was the bonus that they ended up destroying the base and any research he might have had there.

Sighing, Tsunade took one more look at the extra notes that both Kakashi and Yamato had filed along with the regular report.

_Watch Sasuke closely, request missions restricted to inside the borders of Hi no Kuni_

Apparently the snake was still able to get inside the Uchiha's head with the promises of power and a chance for revenge against his brother. Comparing Sasuke's skills to both Naruto and Itachi proved to push the boy very closely back to how he was before Naruto beat him. If this wasn't dealt with soon, there'd be no Naruto to stop the Uchiha this time.

"Yo! Tsunade-hime! What's up with the late night meeting?" a voice called to her, slightly surprising the buxom blonde. Whirling around, the fifth Hokage glared at her teammate who was casually perched on the windowsill.

"Damn it Jiraiya! Why don't you ever use the god damned door?!" she scolded the white haired man. He merely shrugged in response before going over to sit comfortably in one of the chairs across her desk.

"So really, what's the with the midnight rendevous?" Jiraiya asked, his grin turning suggestive, "Maybe you've finally taken me up on my off-" before he could even finish, Tsunade threw the sake bottle right at the pervert's face.

"That's not why you're here and it's never going to happen!" Tusnade boomed, "The reason you're here is because I need to discuss something serious with you," she stated.

Jiraiya raised a brow at that, but listened nonetheless. "You're aware that Team 7 just got back from their mission right?" she asked.

"So? From what I've heard, it went as expected," Jiraiya replied, already starting to dismiss the seriousness of the matter. Really what did he care for team 7? With Naruto gone from it, there wasn't much for him to care about regarding that team, except for Kakashi.

"Orochimaru still knows how to get inside the Uchiha's head," Tsunade stated.

Jiraiya just gave her a disinterested look, "That curse mark of his is as sealed as we can get it, I guess I could try to upgrade it, but i-"

"I want you to start training him," Tsunade interrupted her old teammate, watching in small amusement as the white haired man nearly fell out of his seat.

"Say WHAT?!" Jiraiya asked, getting back in his chair, "Why the hell would I-"

"Sasuke is hell bent on going after Itachi, but in order for him to do that, he needs to get stronger, and I'm afraid he'll leave the village in order to get that." Tsunade explained, keeping calm and cool while Jiraiya grew outraged.

"And whats to stop him from leaving anyway?! The gaki already has a teacher, one with a sharingan! I'm not just going to go out there and hand over all my techniques to some power hungry, traitorous brat!" Jiraiya shouted.

Tsunade glared at him, "I'm not saying for you to give him everything on a silver platter Jiraiya, I'm just asking you to train him the way only a Sannin can," she spoke calmly.

"Why the hell should I?! He abandoned the Leaf once for the sake of power! What's to stop him from doing it again?" Demanded the white haired man.

"That's why I'm asking YOU to train him," Tsunade stated, still keeping a calm and even tone despite Jiraiya's growing anger, "No one is more loyal to this village than you are, and if you're the one to teach him than we won't have to worry about his escape, plus you'd be there to make sure his curse seal-"

"There is no way in hell that I'm helping the traitor that put a hole through my apprentice!" Jiraiya finally snapped.

Tsunade slammed her fists through her desk, finally reaching her own breaking point as she screamed back at him, "We're running out of options!" Jiraiya looked in surprise as Tsunade leveled a glare full of self-loathing and anger at the man, "We need to have stronger ninja Jiraiya! I can't afford to lose what could be the only person to save this village from the likes of both Orochimaru and Akatsuki!" standing up she whirled around to stare bitterly through the window, "I can't afford to let this village fall, and as much as I LOATHE the idea… our best bet is in that Uchiha," Tsunade stated.

Jiraiya frowned, "Oh come on, Naruto would –" just as quickly as he had said the name, the old pervert wished he hadn't as Tsunade whirled around once more, this time chucking her bottle of sake at the man.

"I know that!" she screamed, the bottle crashing into the wall and leaving a mess everywhere. Jiraiya ignored it though as he stared into the tearing eyes of his teammate, "I know Naruto would be the better choice! I know that he was probably the strongest one out of all of us! I know that! But that- that- that FUCKING COUNCIL!" she screeched, her fist smashing into the window behind her, cracking it, "I know I'm the hokage, I know I shouldn't have let them force me into that position, but Danzou… that fucking war hawk!" Tsunade slammed her fist into the window again, this time shattering it into millions of pieces, "He would have started a rebellion, would have started killing people… how can I be Hokage if I choose one shinobi over the rest of my village?" she sobbed.

Jiraiya looked on in surprise as Tsunade had her meltdown. He had not seen her cry like this in a long time…not since the day Dan died. He frowned as he considered her words.

While he was disappointed in her bowing to the whims of the council, Jiraiya could not deny that there would have been problems in the village had she not. Danzo would have instigated a rebellion, a coup, and that was never a good thing.

Sighing to himself, Jiraiya walked over and wrapped the female hokage in a tight embrace. She didn't try to move away and instead buried her face into his chest and wept freely. The toad sage let her weep, and once she was done, he asked, "Did the council ask you to do this?"

Tsunade shook her head, still not leaving her teammate's embrace, "No… It was my idea," she stated softly.

"Why?" Jiraiya pressed, his voice soft, but commanding.

Tsunade gently pushed Jiraiya away so she could look out over the village from her shattered window, "Because… we need all the help we can get," she stated, "I can feel it… dark times are coming and we'll need strong shinobi to get us through it," her hand formed into a fist at her side, "And as much as I HATE to admit it..." her hands shook as she spoke, "That Uchiha-gaki is our best bet at keeping Konoha safe,"

Jiraiya frowned at her words, "We already had a best bet," he muttered, glancing up towards the portraits of the former Hokage, "A guarantee…" he mumbled, his gaze lingering on the Yondaime.

'_That brat… You'd better be safe, wherever you are'_ he thought.

**The next morning, Back with Naruto and Yugito**

Morning Sunlight streamed through the canopy of leaves, quiet and warm rays landing on the sleeping face of one Yugito Nii. Her closed eyes twitched at the feel of the sunlight against her face. _'Morning already?'_ she thought groggily, moaning in protest she snuggled into the firm trunk of the tree she had fallen asleep against. _'I'll wait for the drunkard to get up first'_ she decided, a happy sigh escaping her mouth at the comfortable feel of her improvised bed, _"_This has got to be the most comfortable tree I've ever slept against," she mumbled, slowly drifting off back to sleep.

Her eyes immediately flew open when the 'tree' gave a giant snore.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" she screeched, jumping away from the blond like a terrified cat, "You… HENTAI!" she screeched once more, only this time, it was with raw feminine fury.

By born instinct, Naruto woke up just in time to witness Yugito leaping at him with what looked like elongated and clawed nails, "Oh… no…" was all he got out before he was viciously clawed to near death. The rest of his words were screams, shrieks and shouts of pain.

Eventually Yugito had calmed down enough and stopped attacking Naruto, which was lucky for the blond man, because a few more lacerations and not even Kyuubi would be able to help him.

Huffing in anger, Yugito shook the excess blood from her nails and glared at the blond, "Pervert! It's not enough that I take you to my village, but now you try to take advantage of me in my sleep?" she accused.

Naruto slowly sat up with a look of utter confusion on his face, "Say what now?" he asked.

"You heard me!" Yugito shot back, "I wake up and you're snuggled right next to me, drunken pervert!"

Naruto blinked, scratched his cheek in confusion then said, "Huh… well that's a new one,"

Yugito blinked, "Eh? What do you mean new?" she asked, completely confused and put off by his comment.

"First time I've ever woken up from a blackout with a woman next to me," he answered casually, "Ne, since I can't remember the details, can you at least give me an evaluation?" he asked, his face mildly eager.

"E-Evaluation?" Yugito asked, now completely confused.

"Well yeah," Naruto replied, "I mean, I'd like to know how good I was while intoxicated," he answered.

"How… good you were?" Yugito asked, her voice low and dangerous. If he meant what she thought he meant, his first beating would look like the work of a kitten.

Naruto frowned slightly, "Well yeah, what? You don't remember having sex either?" he asked.

For a while not a single sound was heard, and the world seemed to grow just a few shades darker. Yugito glared at Naruto with eyes of pure fury. Her nails grew sharp and lengthened several inches as she stood up slowly and walked towards Naruto. A purple aura of death surrounded her, and it was this sign that made Naruto realize his folly.

"We… Didn't have sex, did we?" he asked, slightly hoping that yb acknowledging his mistake he'd escape punishment.

Poor, wretched fool.

"No, we didn't," Yugito spoke, her voice akin to a death toll. Naruto gulped once and then screamed in agony as Yugito pounced.

After what seemed like an eternity of agony for Naruto, the two-tailed jinchuuriki stopped her assault and stepped back, her arms crossed beneath her breasts as she glared her fellow blond "Now, care to tell me why you decided to try and take advantage of me in my sleep?" Yugito asked.

Naruto groaned in pain, his wounds slowly healing as he sat up once more, "What are you talking about? Last I remember is passing out right here," he answered indicating the patch of flattened grass where he slept.

Scoffing, the woman placed her hands on her hips, "Then how come I woke up with your arms wrapped around me, perv?" she accused.

Naruto frowned, "Well where did you sleep last night?" he demanded.

Yugito rolled her eyes and pointed towards the tree a few feet away from them, "I slept against that tree," she answered.

"Then how did YOU wake up in MY sleeping spot?" Naruto asked in confusion.

Yugito blinked at that, all her angry thoughts replaced with confusion as she considered his words. _'How DID I end up over here?'_ she wondered. Looking from Naruto's sleeping spot to hers she came up with two theories.

The first one was that Naruto had woken up in the middle of the night, grabbed her and taken her back to his sleeping place, but there were a couple holes in that explanation. First, Naruto had been passed out completely and there was no chance of him getting up in the middle of the night with enough clarity and energy to find her, pick her up and get back to his own sleeping spot. Second, there was absolutely no sign of Naruto having moved from his position during the night. The grass would have been a perfect outline of his sleeping form had Yugito not been sleeping there as well. Lastly, Yugito had been on top of Naruto, who had been wholly ignorant of her presence.

That left her second theory, which, much to her horror, seemed the most true. In the middle of the night, Yugito must have gotten cold and sought out the nearest heat source, which- though she wouldn't say it out loud- was Naruto.

Her face turned crimson as she realized that the only logical explanation was her second theory. She was the one who cuddled up to him, not the other way around. That didn't mean she was happy with it… or that Naruto was off the hook.

With a huff she glared at Naruto, who was still seated with a look of utter confusion on his face, "Let's just get moving," she stated, looking away from Naruto.

'_The hell just happened?'_ Naruto thought as he got up.

"**I've been around for the better part of a thousand years kid, and I have still yet to figure out the minds of women," **Kyuubi responded.

'_Least she doesn't need me to carry her anymore' _Naruto stated blandly as he raced after the Kumo kunoichi. _'Ne, speaking of women, are there female Bijuu?'_

The Kyuubi spluttered in surprise, which to Naruto was an interesting sound to hear in one's head. After getting a hold of himself, the demon fox answered, **"Of course there's female Bijuu! Jeez kid, what brings this up?"**

'_Well I'm curious, because if there are female bijuu and male bijuu, isn't it possible to for there to be newborn bijuu?'_

This time Naruto heard a giant crash in his mind. After hearing the fox begin cursing and spluttering, Naruto could only assume the fox had fallen over in shock. **"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! That's impossible! Ok, not impossible, but why the hell are you asking all this?"** roared the fox.

Naruto merely shrugged _'I guess I was just curious. I mean, haven't you ever though of having a family?'_

"**Baka! Don't ask questions like that right out of the blue!"** Kyuubi berated the boy loudly, causing the blond to clutch his head in protest at the sight headache the fox's voice was causing. **"Anyway… it wouldn't really matter if I wanted a family,"** the fox stated solemnly.

The fox then went silent, and Naruto knew that his tenant had cut off the mental link that allowed them to communicate. He wanted to ask why, but somehow, the Uzumaki knew what the fox was talking about although he couldn't put it into coherent thought.

Grunting in annoyance, the blond missing ninja pushed the feelings away, drowning them with alcohol from his flask. Picking up the pace, Naruto quickly caught up with Yugito. The two traveled in silence, Yugito slightly ahead and leading the way, with the only sound being that of the forest around them and the wind rushing past their ears as they leapt from branch.

Getting annoyed with the silence, Naruto decided to pass the time by talking to Yugito, "Hey, Yugito-san," he called. The woman looked over her shoulder at him, "What's Kumo like?" he asked.

Yugito narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion, but decided to answer anyway, "It's a rocky place with a lot less trees than Konoha," she stated.

Naruto frowned. That was probably the most general answer he'd ever heard, "Ok, but what's it like? I mean, is it hot or cold? Are there any awesome restaurants or bars? What are the people like? The training grounds? The Kage's house? Landmarks?"

Yugito slowed her pace as she regarded Naruto with growing suspicion, "Why do you wish to know?" she asked.

Naru shrugged, "I'm curious, I've been to a lot of places, but never to Rai no Kuni or Tsuchi no Kuni. Closest I've ever gone is the mountains that border them," he replied, "so I guess I'm asking because I want to know about the place I'll be staying at for a while,"

"You'll only be there for a week," Yugito stated, reminding the man of their deal.

"I know, but I'm still curious! Who knows, maybe I'll come back to visit," he answered, "So, what's it like?"

Yugito still didn't trust him so she answered, "I assume it's a lot like Konoha, but with less trees and more rocks,"

Naruto sighed. Looks like he wouldn't be getting a straight answer from her, but it beat traveling in silence.

"Well what about people? Got any friends or family back home?" he asked.

Yugito tensed slightly at that, "I have comrades," she answered.

Naruto noticed her tensing and knew that he had touched a rather sensitive subject for Yugito. He was curious as to why she reacted like that, but he held his tongue. If she didn't want to talk about it, then he wouldn't press it.

Instead, Naruto asked, "Well what about good bars and restaurants? Any great places I should eat at before leaving?"

Yugito turned slightly and scowled at Naruto, "Ok, whats with all the questions?" she demanded. She wasn't going to play this cat and mouse game with him, if he wanted answers, then so did she.

"Well, it's boring to travel in silence," Naruto answered. Naruto had decided a while ago that the road was so lonely because there was no one to talk to. Sure Kyuubi was with him, but the fox was unwilling to share his past with the blond.

Yugito rolled her eyes, "Ok then, how about I ask YOU some questions?"

The Uzumaki shrugged, "Fire away,"

"Fine!" Yugito answered, annoyed with his nonchalance, "What was Konoha like?"

Naruto scrunched his brow in thought for a moment, the silence broken only by their feet leaping off branch after branch. "It was… warm for the most part," he answered, "There were trees everywhere, but I guess that's why they call it the village hidden in the leaves," he chuckled, "Course, as warm as it was, it could get pretty cold at night,"

Yugito narrowed her eyes at the far off look Naruto got after talking about his home. _'Nostalgia for his village? What game are you playing at?'_ Yugito wondered. The Kumo shinobi still did not trust her traveling companion, not completely anyway. "So what rank were you?" Yugito asked, trying to get an estimate on his power level.

Naruto smiled bitterly at the question, "You really wanna know?" he asked. Yugito could see that he didn't really want to answer that question, but she wanted answers from this mysterious ninja, so she nodded and stared at him, her travel unhindered by her lack of attention.

Naruto sighed as she stared and answered in a gruff voice, "Genin,"

Yugito raised a brow, not sure of what he had said due to his low tone, "Come again?" she asked.

"Genin," Naruto answered back, his voice still low and unwilling.

Yugito frowned as she still had not heard the answer, "One more time," she commanded.

Naruto sighed and answered in a loud and clear voice, "I was a genin before I left,"

That made Yugito stumble in her leaping. Quickly catching herself, she looked at Naruto with a disbelieving expression on her face, "You were a GENIN when you left?" she asked, "Wait, how old were you when you left?" she demanded. Perhaps he had just been a god awful ninja and only recently left his village.

Naruto thought for a moment "I was probably… 13? Maybe 14? Can't remember," he confessed.

Yugito narrowed her eyes, "Ok… well how old are you now?"

Naruto shrugged, "Not a clue. Haven't really kept track of time since I left,"

"What? How do you not keep track of time? Didn't they pound the value of time into your head back at your academy?" Yugito asked in disbelief. This guy was unbelievable!

Naruto laughed, "I barely passed the academy! I was deadlast of my class and as soon as I left that village, I started drinking like a fish," he replied, capping his point by taking a swig from his hip flask.

Yugito stared at him dumbfounded, "Ok, but you must remember your birthday, right?" she pressed. If she could get his birthdate, then she'd be able to get an accurate guess at his age. However, Naruto reacted strangely to her question.

Immediately, the carefree air that surrounded the blond became dark and angry. His light smile turned into a vicious scowl and his blue eyes became cold glaciers, "Yes, I do remember my birthday," he stated, the venom dripping from his words.

Yugito narrowed her eyes. _'This is new'_ she thought. "Well, would you tell me when it is?" she pressed. Yugito was not oblivious to Naruto's mood, but she was extremely curious, a trait that had often gotten her in trouble.

"No," Naruto answered lowly, his voice gruff and edged with a warning.

Yugito narrowed her eyes. She knew by his tone that he had no desire to continue this conversation, but this reaction was so new, so strange and so far from what she associated with him. _'Perhaps if I just probe him a little bit more' _"Oh come on, all I'm asking for is-"

"**I said no!"** Naruto roared, whirling around to face her. Yugito stopped in surprise, amazed and terrified at the visage in front of her.

Furious red eyes glared at her, pinning her to the ground with fear. Lips pulled back in a feral snarl revealed razor sharp teeth. The thin whisker marks that had complimented a large and drunken grin were now jagged and black, serving only to enhance the overall ferocious face that now faced her.

Yugito could only stare at Naruto, utterly surprised and completely shocked, but not by his reaction. No, it was the revelation that came with it.

As Naruto turned back around, the two continued their journey to Kumo, but the cat like eyes of the Kumo kunoichi were sharply focused on the drunken shinobi as much as they were on the road, brimming with the delight of discovering a deadly and wondrous secret.

'_Jinchuuriki'_ the word repeated itself over and over again in her head.

**On another route to Kumo**

****"Damn it! Why the hell are wedoing this again?" Hidan demanded, disturbing the wildlife nearby with his loud cursing.

"We were told that we need to retrieve the Nibi, leader was not pleased with our last failure," Kakuzu answered, not bothering to look at his partner as they continued towards their destination.

"That wasn't even our fault!" Hidan shouted angrily, "That god damn other guy with the fucking flying vermin was the reason why we lost her!"

"Which is why we're also going to deal with him," Kakuzu responded.

Hidan grinned, "Good! I need to pay that bastard back for disturbing my rituals to Jashin," he stated, eyes shining with a bloodthirsty light.

"We're not killing him Hidan," Kakuzu warned, "Our job is to capture him along with the girl,"

Hidan scoffed, "And why the fuck are we doing that? Can't we just slaughter the little prick and grab the bitch?" he demanded.

Kakuzu resisted the urge to attack Hidan, "Because he's the vessel for the Kyuubi no Youko," he said, keeping his voice calm.

Hidan blinked, then grinned, "Oh yeah! Heh, the Kyuubi jinchuuriki... hope he's as tough as they say he is,"

"It doesn't matter, he will be captured just like the rest," Kakuzu stated indifferently.

"Yeah, yeah, but I want to make this guy bleed before we suck out his demon," Hidan replied.

The two then fell into a silence, their sedate pace bringing them closer and closer to Kumo.

Their mission was clear and their will was absolute.

The jinchuuriki would not escape twice.

**A/N: And done! Sorry for the late update, but I'm hoping these 22 pages will satisfy some of you for a time being. Do not despair though action is on the horizon. **

**Also, to Canisse and those who feel the same as he (or she as the case may be) I hope you're enjoying this story, and will continue to read and review despite the faults of previous chapters.**

**P.S: Sorry, it's been a while, so I had no idea this chapters end was exactly the same as last chapter's. Well, thats been edited, hope you still enjoy it!**

**Ja ne.**


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